You're not that hot
I was out with friends on Saturday night and we decide to stop in at a cocktail bar. It's quite a laid back place, no pounding music, just big comfy sofas and bar staff who can really throw a shaker around. I was waiting to be served and was next to another girl who was just finishing her drink.
IG: Idiot Girl
GB: Great Barman
IG: Hi, can I have another mojito?
GB: Sure, what kind? Strawberry or regular?
IG: Strawberry. Hey, feel like giving it to me for free?
At this point she stuck her elbows under her breasts to create maximum cleavage, and smiled flirtily. I threw up a little.
GB: Uh, no. We don't do that. I'd have to pay for it out of my wages.
IG: I'll give you a tip!
GB: How much?
IG: Two quid?
GB: Well a strawberry mojito costs £6.50 so I'd be £4.50 out of pocket. Not a great incentive. To me. What can I get you?
Whiny walking
Tonight I was at the gym and was on the treadmill. As usual I stopped after 3.5k to stretch, not wanting to zing myself at my advanced age (it's my birthday on Friday and I feel ancient). You see a lot of people stop to stretch halfway through a run, it's recommended practise, and like everyone else I paused the programme rather than stopping it, the screen was still on, I was clearly not finished.
I had only been stretching for perhaps 30 seconds when a girl comes up to me. She was the type who put makeup on BEFORE exercising, wear £30 Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirts to the gym and never actually do enough exercise to break a sweat.
GB: Gym Bunny
BB: A sweaty BookBint
GB: Are you finished?
BB: No, sorry, just stretching. I have more to do.
GB: Do you mind coming back and finishing later? I don't have much time.
BB: Uh, actually I do. I need to get home by 6.30. But lots of people were on the other treadmills before I got here so they'll probably be done soon.
GB: But I don't have a lot of time! whine
BB: Um, go on a cross trainer? (Elipical machine in the US.)
GB: Huh!
At that moment the guy beside me got off his treadmill and she got on, looking daggers at me the whole time. She then proceeded to walk at 5km/hr at a flat incline. Go outside if you're only intending to walk on a flat surface! I smuggly sprinted another 3k and was still going when she finished and left.
Holy hell you did not just do that. Men of a delicate constitution may not want to read this...
As I was getting my bag out of the gym locker, I saw a woman changing her tampon and sanitary towel in the middle of the room. In full view of at least 5 people. What really blew my mind was that she then went to the toilet!!! Why didn't you do that in there???!!!
I was out with friends on Saturday night and we decide to stop in at a cocktail bar. It's quite a laid back place, no pounding music, just big comfy sofas and bar staff who can really throw a shaker around. I was waiting to be served and was next to another girl who was just finishing her drink.
IG: Idiot Girl
GB: Great Barman
IG: Hi, can I have another mojito?
GB: Sure, what kind? Strawberry or regular?
IG: Strawberry. Hey, feel like giving it to me for free?
At this point she stuck her elbows under her breasts to create maximum cleavage, and smiled flirtily. I threw up a little.
GB: Uh, no. We don't do that. I'd have to pay for it out of my wages.
IG: I'll give you a tip!
GB: How much?
IG: Two quid?
GB: Well a strawberry mojito costs £6.50 so I'd be £4.50 out of pocket. Not a great incentive. To me. What can I get you?
Whiny walking
Tonight I was at the gym and was on the treadmill. As usual I stopped after 3.5k to stretch, not wanting to zing myself at my advanced age (it's my birthday on Friday and I feel ancient). You see a lot of people stop to stretch halfway through a run, it's recommended practise, and like everyone else I paused the programme rather than stopping it, the screen was still on, I was clearly not finished.
I had only been stretching for perhaps 30 seconds when a girl comes up to me. She was the type who put makeup on BEFORE exercising, wear £30 Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirts to the gym and never actually do enough exercise to break a sweat.
GB: Gym Bunny
BB: A sweaty BookBint
GB: Are you finished?
BB: No, sorry, just stretching. I have more to do.
GB: Do you mind coming back and finishing later? I don't have much time.
BB: Uh, actually I do. I need to get home by 6.30. But lots of people were on the other treadmills before I got here so they'll probably be done soon.
GB: But I don't have a lot of time! whine
BB: Um, go on a cross trainer? (Elipical machine in the US.)
GB: Huh!
At that moment the guy beside me got off his treadmill and she got on, looking daggers at me the whole time. She then proceeded to walk at 5km/hr at a flat incline. Go outside if you're only intending to walk on a flat surface! I smuggly sprinted another 3k and was still going when she finished and left.
Holy hell you did not just do that. Men of a delicate constitution may not want to read this...
As I was getting my bag out of the gym locker, I saw a woman changing her tampon and sanitary towel in the middle of the room. In full view of at least 5 people. What really blew my mind was that she then went to the toilet!!! Why didn't you do that in there???!!!
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