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Im going to tell you upfront that I am a jerk! With added karma!

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  • Im going to tell you upfront that I am a jerk! With added karma!

    I had a two top come in, I first greet them and get no response other than "hot water with lemon" absolutely, so I know your cheap and have no manners great.

    Shes uphappy shes in a two top booth. She doesn't like the lemon wedges....she doesn't like that the SUN is setting and there's a gap at the top of our blinds. At least that last one I can agree to.

    She informs me she is very picky and her family hates going out to eat with her, annnnnd she will likely send her food back a couple of times. Wonderful.

    We are out of avocado (crappy I know but the ones that were delivered were not ripe and we wont send out shitty product. Of course the one dish she wants has avo, she throws a fit about it and how the experience is already ruined. I recommend one dish not enough mushrooms, so I recommend a mushroom heavy dish, now that has TOO many mushrooms. She settles on a dish with no mushrooms.

    I pass this on to the manager.

    She complains that the spinach dip had too many chips for the dip. I apologize and inform the manager. Who gives me a WTF face. He goes and talks to her and she tells him off.

    Her main arrives (a HUGE bowl of pasta, chicken, pesto, veggies) and as I set it in front of her she says "You have to be kidding me"

    I don't even bother replying and walk straight over to the manager and say that shes unhappy and wants to see him again.

    He stands there for 15 minutes while she complains about literally everything from the napkins to the glassware to our staff uniforms. You name it she HATES it, including me, I am incompetent. Her husband stays silent and eats his food telling me every time I check in that it's great and ignoring her glares.

    I ask about dessert and the husband announces he wants our cheesecake, she thinks it tastes disgusting but she eats more than half of it. Telling me the texture is off, the crumb is burnt, the espresso cream is "the nastiest thing I have ever tasted."

    As I bill them (no we didn't comp anything) I mention the storm that has been raging outside that started just after they got their dessert. She starts crying and freaking out, phones her daughter and starts blubbering into the phone.

    She left her car windows open in the driveway and is terrified the car is now soaked. She literally is crying into the phone while her husband pays (20% tip) and it's everything I have in me not to skip away and tell the manager.

    Karma is a bitch, bitch.
    I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

  • #2
    I'm not sure I even have the words for this. Just...wow. Is there any way she could be banned from your place of work? I'm sure your manager would love to do so...but then, she'd probably just complain higher up the chain of command and get any ban reversed. I would say something is definitely wrong, if she knows her behavior is that bad, but does it anyway. Something's off in the mental department, I'd say. Sorry you had to deal with that! At least the husband was decent!
    "And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--Shakespeare

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    • #3
      Overly sheltered, I'm thinking. It sounds to me like she's been able to go through life without ever once having to deal with the results of her decisions or actions.

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      • #4
        The guy must really love her. He saw how she treated wait staff and married her anyway.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          That's because divorce is expensive...

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          • #6
            Well, at least the long-suffering husband didn't stiff you. I'd be tempted to comp him the stiffest drink the bartender knew how to make if he wasn't driving home.

            But yeah, Karma's a bitch.

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            • #7
              I... What? That's just plain rude through & through.
              This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
              I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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              • #8
                If something "sucks", but you eat more than half of it, YOU suck.

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                • #9
                  I bet she was terrified that if she got wet from the rain, she would melt.
                  "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                  .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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                  • #10
                    Reminds me of Ron White's storied about his spoiled rich ex-wife.

                    "Ron, the dryer isn't working."
                    "Did you check the lint filter?"
                    "..."
                    "That's all right, honey. I'll do it."
                    "Well, Ron? Is there anything in there?"
                    "Yeah, a quilt."


                    "She calls my hotel in a panic. There's an emergency. I knock over three people in a very nice lobby to get to the phone."
                    "Ron... the dog pooped on the floor."
                    "What do you want me to do about it? I'm a thousand miles away."
                    "That's just like you, Ron. You're making jokes and I have a real problem here."
                    "Okay, honey. I'm sorry. Put the dog on the phone."

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Kiwi View Post
                      She left her car windows open in the driveway and is terrified the car is now soaked. She literally is crying into the phone
                      If I was a customer seeing this, I'd probably have chimed in with karmic laughter

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                      • #12
                        My late mother was a fussy restaurant customer, but she was nothing like the one in the OP. However, a "friend" of hers was worse, to the point where my mother refused to go to a restaurant with her. This lady would order food and it would arrive, then she'd keep talking until her food was cold, then complain that the food was cold.

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                        • #13
                          I can picture this woman
                          AkaiKitsune
                          Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                          • #14
                            She should've been bounced out the door. I mean, the UNIFORMS? WTF?? Since when is that even remotely a part of your "dining experience"? I don't even notice what the staff is wearing, as long as they're clothed! Good god!!!

                            Hey, maybe it was "Phyllis" from PFB! Didn't she bitch about the uniforms the staff wore at some restaurant in one of her mindless gripes on that site?
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                            • #15
                              A long time ago at my work we had a lady like this one. She was soooooo mean, and always brought up silky fabrics (that you couldn't tear) which are very hard to cut straight. I remember once I called her number, and when she got to the counter I just said "I'll call a manager for you." And I called for an MOD, and took another customer.

                              The Witch (our nickname for her) didn't even flinch, or ask me why I wouldn't help her. It was Old Manager at the time, and she was a giant pushover, so she never told this woman to leave or anything. Sometimes when I get someone like this I just marvel at what their lives must be like. When I feel myself being super cranky PMS-style, I try to remember them and think "no, don't be that person." (not that I even get close to how horrid these people are, but some days I feel like everything gets on my nerves)
                              Last edited by notalwaysright; 08-26-2016, 01:55 AM.
                              Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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