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  • Ask the Kiwi Guy!

    (Ok, so I have NO IDEA if this would be considered the right area for this sort of thing, if not I'd appreciate a heads up and maybe a mod shifting it.)

    Ok, I'm just looking for something to do for a bit of humor, so basically I'm doing a bit of a ripoff of the videoclips some of you may have seen called "Ask that guy with the glasses".

    The whole point of this thread is to ASK QUESTIONS, no matter how stupid/silly - but be aware that the answer may not be what you anticipated! I'll answer questions in batches of about 5 or 6 at a time, so the faster you get the questions in = the sooner I post an answer post! (Try to keep to a maximum of THREE questions per post to give others a fair chance - You are welcome to ask multiple sets of questions, though note that people who have not yet had questions answered will get priority)

    "Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question... until YOU ask it!" >_>
    Last edited by Kagato; 11-26-2011, 08:39 PM.
    Violets are blue,
    Roses are red,
    I bequeath to thee...
    A boot to the head >_>

  • #2
    So you have that cute accent ... how you doing <leer>
    EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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    • #3
      fine I'll bite....

      are huntsman spiders really as creepy as they seem?

      and/or

      Are kiwi birds and bandicoots as adorable and cuddly as they seem?
      Last edited by BlaqueKatt; 11-11-2011, 11:39 PM.
      Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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      • #4
        So you have that cute accent ... how you doing
        Why I am quite well. I recently finished shooting a starring role in a small movie, curing 5 known forms of cancer and having lunch with the President of the United States. Simultaneously. How about you?

        are huntsman spiders really as creepy as they seem?
        Naaaah! They are just misunderstood along with snakes, wetas and box jellyfish and just want nothing more than a big friendly hug...

        Are kiwi birds and bandicoots as adorable and cuddly as they seem?
        In contrast to my previous comment, kiwis are simply acting cute and cuddly as a ploy while they plot with their evil kiwi overlords on the best way to overthrow our worlds governments and make us all their slaves. Personally I welcome our new kiwi overlords with open arms (please don't eat me >_>)

        (Disclaimer: As can be expected, all responses are purely for satirical purposes, anyone who takes these 'answers' seriously should consider checking themselves into a mental institution. Then again maybe I should as well for coming up with such strange answers. =p)
        Violets are blue,
        Roses are red,
        I bequeath to thee...
        A boot to the head >_>

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        • #5
          Is New Zealand basically "Australia Lite"? *ducks*
          "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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          • #6
            Quoth Kagato View Post
            Why I am quite well. I recently finished shooting a starring role in a small movie, curing 5 known forms of cancer and having lunch with the President of the United States. Simultaneously. How about you?


            In contrast to my previous comment, kiwis are simply acting cute and cuddly as a ploy while they plot with their evil kiwi overlords on the best way to overthrow our worlds governments and make us all their slaves. Personally I welcome our new kiwi overlords with open arms (please don't eat me >_>)

            Omg I love the way your mind works! Can I keep you?!
            I'm the 5th horsemen of the apocalypse. Bringer of giggly bouncy doom, they don't talk about me much.

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            • #7
              @Squeaks: Sure can, he's only a Kiwi! Wait, does that make Kagato one of our new overlords?
              Also, bandicoots like to nom on people. That is all.
              Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

              Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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              • #8
                Do you have the same problems with Drop Bears that Australia does?

                I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

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                • #9
                  What is the average jumping distance a kangaroo covers in one leap?
                  Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                  • #10
                    Is New Zealand basically "Australia Lite"? *ducks*
                    This is in fact a common misconception - it is actually the other way around. The powers that be created Australia as a 'test' first, but found that bigger is not necessarily better, so they eventually created the small but powerful country of New Zealand, which is why Australia is stuck with all the nasty things like snakes, spiders, box jellyfish and drop bears, while we get kiwis, dolphins, whales and Lord of the Rings.

                    Omg I love the way your mind works! Can I keep you?!
                    No, you can not keep me personally, but you are perfectly welcome to invest in a clone replica of myself once I manage to perfect my cloning vats. Or failing that you can make a plushie. I COULD be convinced to change my mind though - The ball is now in your court.

                    Do you have the same problems with Drop Bears that Australia does?
                    No, we eradicated those nasty little blighters in the great war of the Australian and New Zealand Stereotypes. They are welcome to those zombie bears (It's a little known fact that they love brains... as a mid afternoon snack.)

                    What is the average jumping distance a kangaroo covers in one leap?
                    Depends on how much dynamite you use to launch it.
                    Last edited by Kagato; 11-12-2011, 09:42 AM.
                    Violets are blue,
                    Roses are red,
                    I bequeath to thee...
                    A boot to the head >_>

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Side note: the ecology of Australia and New Zealand are very different.

                      We don't have kiwis, they don't have kangaroos and koalas.

                      End side note.
                      Seshat's self-help guide:
                      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Kagato View Post
                        I COULD be convinced to change my mind though - The ball is now in your court.
                        I love Kiwis, of the human and crazy cool bird sort, you can ask ApolloSZ and he can confirm that, he has heard my rambles about kiwi birds and their adorable uses.
                        Also, I have pie, cookies, and grilled cheese with bacon which makes me powerful.
                        Last edited by Squeaksmyalias; 11-12-2011, 04:17 PM. Reason: Forgot bacon
                        I'm the 5th horsemen of the apocalypse. Bringer of giggly bouncy doom, they don't talk about me much.

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                        • #13
                          I'm going to Auckland, New Zealand in February. Know anyone there? Have you even heard of that place?
                          "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Greenday View Post
                            I'm going to Auckland, New Zealand in February.
                            I'm sorry, but all the Great Auks are dead.
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                            • #15
                              (Time to bring things back on track - no offense meant, I just want to minimise clutter from extra posts . Note that the question can be pretty much ANY tasteful stupid/silly question - it does not need to be about australia/new zealand necessarily. EDIT: Oh, if you want your question to be anonymous, feel free to send me a PM with it too =p)

                              I'm sorry, but all the Great Auks are dead.
                              Never fear, I shall end you soon enough. *shifty look - is an Aucklander*

                              (Disclaimer: As can be expected, all responses are purely for satirical purposes, anyone who takes these 'answers' seriously should consider checking themselves into a mental institution. Then again maybe I should as well for coming up with such strange answers. =p)
                              Last edited by Kagato; 11-12-2011, 08:50 PM.
                              Violets are blue,
                              Roses are red,
                              I bequeath to thee...
                              A boot to the head >_>

                              Comment

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