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Your Monthly Forgery Failure
If your over-under bet for how long it would take to catch my first forgery of 2012 was more than one week, you may claim your fabulous* prize now.
Changing the letters “DEC” to “FEB” is a daunting task. You can kind of make a “C” look like a “B” without butchering the flow of the original pen too bad, but there’s no convincing way to turn a “D” into an “F” without doing something that will result in either of those letters being issued as the grade of your handiwork. I can see why you’d want to use “FEB”, since the “E” can be re-used, but, that only necessitated changing the days on the permit as well, since it was a December permit to start with, and February doesn’t have a 31st day. So I have to acknowledge that you have at least a meager handful of spastically-firing neurons inside your head, and not an unbalanced washing machine on the spin cycle to realize you'd have to turn the "31" into a "28". That was the real trip-up since you can kinda make a “1” into something like a leaning “8” that’s had one too many to drink, but cannot change a “3” into “2” without eviscerating that poor little “3” who did absolutely nothing, NOTHING, to you in your life to deserve it.
Oh, and you did that all with a blue ballpoint pen, when the original was done in black….. the mind boggles.
*prize is not fabulous
You Used the Magic Word!
-I believe someone at this number just called looking for a vehicle from Berkshire Apartments? A grey SUV?
-Yes, that was me
-Okay, we have that vehicle, it was towed for not having a permit for that lot, it will be $115 to pick up, we are -located at…
-(Interrupting) $115??? Are you f*ucking serious?!
*click*
1 potato…. 2 potato …. 3 potato…..
-Yes, I think your phone dropped my call
-No, it didn’t. I hung up on you for swearing at me, there’s no need for that.
-What?! Calm down dude! That’s just the way I talk when I get upset! And I’m pretty upset now, you took my car!
-Well, there’s no need for it, and if you do it again, I will hang up again.
-You need to learn some professionalism! I want to talk to your manager.
-He’ll be in at 9am tomorrow (it was about 2am at this point)
-You can’t get him now? There’s no supervisor there now?
-Fraid’ not Sir, it’s just me
-Well, I’m your customer! And it’s rude to hang up on me! I don’t appreciate it and I intend to complain! What’s your name?
-Argabarga
-Last name?
-I’m not giving that to you sir.
-So, you’re saying that you’re lying to me? That’s what you’re saying!
-Excuse me?
-If you don’t give me your full name, how do I know you’re telling the truth?
-I’m the only Argabarga here, if you want to complain, they’ll know exactly who I am
-Well I intend to! I don’t hang up on people at MY job! Which by the way you’re making me late for by taking my car!!! You’re rude!
-It’s also rude to swear at people you don’t know over the phone, don’t you think?
-Chill the f*ck out dude!
-Oops, you did it again. Have a nice night sir. *click*
Don’t know if he bothered to call back and complain, I guess he didn’t because I never heard anything from said manager who’s internal BS-detector has been finely calibrated from years of “complaints” from “customers” with cars that have been “towed”. Maybe I was a little quick with the trigger-finger on that one, but at 2 am, with me lying on the ground under a car in the rain with a soaking wet tire strap in one hand and a cellphone in the other is the WRONG time to tempt me.
If your over-under bet for how long it would take to catch my first forgery of 2012 was more than one week, you may claim your fabulous* prize now.
Changing the letters “DEC” to “FEB” is a daunting task. You can kind of make a “C” look like a “B” without butchering the flow of the original pen too bad, but there’s no convincing way to turn a “D” into an “F” without doing something that will result in either of those letters being issued as the grade of your handiwork. I can see why you’d want to use “FEB”, since the “E” can be re-used, but, that only necessitated changing the days on the permit as well, since it was a December permit to start with, and February doesn’t have a 31st day. So I have to acknowledge that you have at least a meager handful of spastically-firing neurons inside your head, and not an unbalanced washing machine on the spin cycle to realize you'd have to turn the "31" into a "28". That was the real trip-up since you can kinda make a “1” into something like a leaning “8” that’s had one too many to drink, but cannot change a “3” into “2” without eviscerating that poor little “3” who did absolutely nothing, NOTHING, to you in your life to deserve it.
Oh, and you did that all with a blue ballpoint pen, when the original was done in black….. the mind boggles.
*prize is not fabulous
You Used the Magic Word!
-I believe someone at this number just called looking for a vehicle from Berkshire Apartments? A grey SUV?
-Yes, that was me
-Okay, we have that vehicle, it was towed for not having a permit for that lot, it will be $115 to pick up, we are -located at…
-(Interrupting) $115??? Are you f*ucking serious?!
*click*
1 potato…. 2 potato …. 3 potato…..
-Yes, I think your phone dropped my call
-No, it didn’t. I hung up on you for swearing at me, there’s no need for that.
-What?! Calm down dude! That’s just the way I talk when I get upset! And I’m pretty upset now, you took my car!
-Well, there’s no need for it, and if you do it again, I will hang up again.
-You need to learn some professionalism! I want to talk to your manager.
-He’ll be in at 9am tomorrow (it was about 2am at this point)
-You can’t get him now? There’s no supervisor there now?
-Fraid’ not Sir, it’s just me
-Well, I’m your customer! And it’s rude to hang up on me! I don’t appreciate it and I intend to complain! What’s your name?
-Argabarga
-Last name?
-I’m not giving that to you sir.
-So, you’re saying that you’re lying to me? That’s what you’re saying!
-Excuse me?
-If you don’t give me your full name, how do I know you’re telling the truth?
-I’m the only Argabarga here, if you want to complain, they’ll know exactly who I am
-Well I intend to! I don’t hang up on people at MY job! Which by the way you’re making me late for by taking my car!!! You’re rude!
-It’s also rude to swear at people you don’t know over the phone, don’t you think?
-Chill the f*ck out dude!
-Oops, you did it again. Have a nice night sir. *click*
Don’t know if he bothered to call back and complain, I guess he didn’t because I never heard anything from said manager who’s internal BS-detector has been finely calibrated from years of “complaints” from “customers” with cars that have been “towed”. Maybe I was a little quick with the trigger-finger on that one, but at 2 am, with me lying on the ground under a car in the rain with a soaking wet tire strap in one hand and a cellphone in the other is the WRONG time to tempt me.
Though I really don't find the actual swear words any more offensive than anything else they're screaming at me...I have to listen either way.
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