Tweet
Just so many little attacks!....
Banner #1
Banner Client: So, I need a banner done, and I need it done like ASAP. Can you be online tonight for me to tell you about it? I have BIG IDEAS for it!
Seraph: Unfortunately, its Friday. So unless you pay a rush order, it will be the weekend, so no, I cannot work on the project until Monday. I'm sorry.
BC:
no I dont want to do that, I will be fine.
YOUR FAULT RWAAAAGH
Amazon Cust: Hi, I'm looking to buy this item from you, and the model number is right, but the product images on your site are wrong. (not my site, dude, thats Amazon's fault). DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ONE?!?! If not, tell me now, because I will not stand to be hoodwinked by a scammer, and I will report you to Amazon for false advertising. You should not post fake pictures. (again dude, AMAZON'S. SITE.) Tell me if the product is right. I must know.
Sad part? I got variations on this email about four times. Only ONE of them was polite. Pity for the complainers, I sold both cards anyways within a day of listing them. :P
Banner #2
BC: Hi I know you're out of town but I thought of this other thing I want, and I really need it tonoght, so can you email me plz.
Seraph: Dude. I'm out of town. I only have email access.
BC: awwwwww buy why!?
Seraph: <facepalm>
BC: I don't get it....
Busted pt. 1
Old Client: Hey, just noticed that <website> has a flash image that's exactly like the one you did for us. They just, swapped out the logo and one or two text lines. Did you resell it?.....you always told us you did unique work. :| Really, this is kinda upsetting, because that flash really made us stand out, and now....yeah.
Seraph: /looks/ Yeah no, definitely wasn't me, and this is a flat out copyright violation. Feel free to scourge them over it.
Old Client:
Thought you didn't. Ok, have a good weekend, we're putting our legal team on this. Should be fun!
Banner #3
BC: Hi so I had another really cool idea, can you whip me up an image for this real quicki? I promised one of our advertisers I'd have it done by tonight.
Seraph: No.
BC: this is really very inconvenient
Seraph: So is constantly having to answer emails while I'm on my supposed weekend. :P
The Not Helpful Bus
Hosting Company: Hi, we've had multiple violations of our TOS from a client, in that he is falsely advertising his site's capabilities and features in various advertising graphics. He has informed us that this is your fault, and that he's tried to reach you for months regarding this, and that all responsibility falls to you.
Seraph: That's odd....he has both of my emails, both of my instant messenger screennames... I actually just talked with him the other day about him thinking about expanding his business. He never mentioned the graphics once.
HC: Well, he says that you never answer your IMs, and that you seem to have blocked him a while ago, as his messages are not going through.
Seraph: ....My computer's turned off while I'm out of town. :P So....yeah. Nothing's going through IM-wise...
HC: :| And you've answered our emails as well....so.....I guess we'll have to have a further talk with him.
Seraph: Sorry about that, let me know if you need any other help. I won't let him try and throw me under a bus like that, though. I'll let you know if he ever does try and contact me.
He did, a few hours later, with a very friendly "Hey, so some problems have come up, and I need you to fix some graphics for me...." :P
Banner #4
BC: I know Im bothering you, but can you also do another image like this? When will you be available? Can you start before Monday? i really need it by then.
Seraph: <does not even dignify the email with a response>
Busted pt. 2
Busted-ee: Hey, I just got a cease and desist from someone who claims they had a flash done by you, and we stole it. WTF is up with this, we changed the logo out, its FINE. The law says its been changed enough! if you do not tell them to stop, we will see you in court! And I will never order from you again!
Seraph: <fowards email to Old Client>
Banner #5, 6, 7
BC: hey, changed my mind on that last email, hahaha. so, I want something like <this website>'s logo, but just changed a tiiiiny bit. You wont charge a lot for that, will you?
-----
BC: scratch that, found out that it'd be "art theft" to do that. I need you to draw a different logo. will $15 be an ok budget?>
------
BC: hey, I really need you to do this tonoight, please email me and say you can do it! Have a happy weekend
Busted pt.3
Old Client: Everything's down, thank you for that email. Put him right in his place after that, we did.
Oh, and by the way, he *did* give us some ideas for a new website. We'll contact you with an order in a couple of weeks.
Seraph:
Let's Do the Time Warp Agaaaaaiiiiin
WTF Client: Hi, I am finally ready to do my website, as per our discussion. I will have the <Obsolete Design Package> for <ridiculously low price>.
Seraph: One minute, there seems to be some sort of a discrepancy here. I'll be right back.
Little bit of research, and I find out the last time I talked to him was in 2010! Way back when my prices were a lot lower. Like, disturbingly lower.
WTF Client: I hope it is not the price (well yes, it is), as this was the agreed-upon amount. It would be good business to do it. (Yes, let me CUT MY OWN THROAT for you, since it'd be "good business". Har.)
Seraph: Well unfortunately, there does seem to be a bit of a discrepancy. In the time since our last contact, there have been a multitude of changes, policy-wise and pricing-wise, here in the company. I have attached a more up-to-date list for you to peruse at your leisure, but please note, as with all estimates, the prices are only valid for 30 days from the time the quote is given to you. Please let me know if you have any other questions regarding a project. Thank you.
------
Now if only BC would stop sending me five emails an hour with his "new ideas!!!, scratch the old one".....
Banner #1
Banner Client: So, I need a banner done, and I need it done like ASAP. Can you be online tonight for me to tell you about it? I have BIG IDEAS for it!
Seraph: Unfortunately, its Friday. So unless you pay a rush order, it will be the weekend, so no, I cannot work on the project until Monday. I'm sorry.
BC:
no I dont want to do that, I will be fine.YOUR FAULT RWAAAAGH
Amazon Cust: Hi, I'm looking to buy this item from you, and the model number is right, but the product images on your site are wrong. (not my site, dude, thats Amazon's fault). DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ONE?!?! If not, tell me now, because I will not stand to be hoodwinked by a scammer, and I will report you to Amazon for false advertising. You should not post fake pictures. (again dude, AMAZON'S. SITE.) Tell me if the product is right. I must know.
Sad part? I got variations on this email about four times. Only ONE of them was polite. Pity for the complainers, I sold both cards anyways within a day of listing them. :P
Banner #2
BC: Hi I know you're out of town but I thought of this other thing I want, and I really need it tonoght, so can you email me plz.
Seraph: Dude. I'm out of town. I only have email access.
BC: awwwwww buy why!?
Seraph: <facepalm>
BC: I don't get it....
Busted pt. 1
Old Client: Hey, just noticed that <website> has a flash image that's exactly like the one you did for us. They just, swapped out the logo and one or two text lines. Did you resell it?.....you always told us you did unique work. :| Really, this is kinda upsetting, because that flash really made us stand out, and now....yeah.
Seraph: /looks/ Yeah no, definitely wasn't me, and this is a flat out copyright violation. Feel free to scourge them over it.
Old Client:
Thought you didn't. Ok, have a good weekend, we're putting our legal team on this. Should be fun!Banner #3
BC: Hi so I had another really cool idea, can you whip me up an image for this real quicki? I promised one of our advertisers I'd have it done by tonight.
Seraph: No.
BC: this is really very inconvenient
Seraph: So is constantly having to answer emails while I'm on my supposed weekend. :P
The Not Helpful Bus
Hosting Company: Hi, we've had multiple violations of our TOS from a client, in that he is falsely advertising his site's capabilities and features in various advertising graphics. He has informed us that this is your fault, and that he's tried to reach you for months regarding this, and that all responsibility falls to you.
Seraph: That's odd....he has both of my emails, both of my instant messenger screennames... I actually just talked with him the other day about him thinking about expanding his business. He never mentioned the graphics once.
HC: Well, he says that you never answer your IMs, and that you seem to have blocked him a while ago, as his messages are not going through.
Seraph: ....My computer's turned off while I'm out of town. :P So....yeah. Nothing's going through IM-wise...
HC: :| And you've answered our emails as well....so.....I guess we'll have to have a further talk with him.
Seraph: Sorry about that, let me know if you need any other help. I won't let him try and throw me under a bus like that, though. I'll let you know if he ever does try and contact me.
He did, a few hours later, with a very friendly "Hey, so some problems have come up, and I need you to fix some graphics for me...." :P
Banner #4
BC: I know Im bothering you, but can you also do another image like this? When will you be available? Can you start before Monday? i really need it by then.
Seraph: <does not even dignify the email with a response>
Busted pt. 2
Busted-ee: Hey, I just got a cease and desist from someone who claims they had a flash done by you, and we stole it. WTF is up with this, we changed the logo out, its FINE. The law says its been changed enough! if you do not tell them to stop, we will see you in court! And I will never order from you again!
Seraph: <fowards email to Old Client>
Banner #5, 6, 7
BC: hey, changed my mind on that last email, hahaha. so, I want something like <this website>'s logo, but just changed a tiiiiny bit. You wont charge a lot for that, will you?
-----
BC: scratch that, found out that it'd be "art theft" to do that. I need you to draw a different logo. will $15 be an ok budget?>
------
BC: hey, I really need you to do this tonoight, please email me and say you can do it! Have a happy weekend
Busted pt.3
Old Client: Everything's down, thank you for that email. Put him right in his place after that, we did.
Oh, and by the way, he *did* give us some ideas for a new website. We'll contact you with an order in a couple of weeks. Seraph:
Let's Do the Time Warp Agaaaaaiiiiin
WTF Client: Hi, I am finally ready to do my website, as per our discussion. I will have the <Obsolete Design Package> for <ridiculously low price>.
Seraph: One minute, there seems to be some sort of a discrepancy here. I'll be right back.
Little bit of research, and I find out the last time I talked to him was in 2010! Way back when my prices were a lot lower. Like, disturbingly lower.
WTF Client: I hope it is not the price (well yes, it is), as this was the agreed-upon amount. It would be good business to do it. (Yes, let me CUT MY OWN THROAT for you, since it'd be "good business". Har.)
Seraph: Well unfortunately, there does seem to be a bit of a discrepancy. In the time since our last contact, there have been a multitude of changes, policy-wise and pricing-wise, here in the company. I have attached a more up-to-date list for you to peruse at your leisure, but please note, as with all estimates, the prices are only valid for 30 days from the time the quote is given to you. Please let me know if you have any other questions regarding a project. Thank you.
------
Now if only BC would stop sending me five emails an hour with his "new ideas!!!, scratch the old one".....
Yeah, sure...
Comment