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How to of the day - Survive In Federal Prison

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  • #1

    How to of the day - Survive In Federal Prison

    http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-in-Federal-Prison

    The opening is hilarious. But only because I've never been to prison.
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart
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  • #2
    Quoth Evil Queen View Post
    http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-in-Federal-Prison

    The opening is hilarious. But only because I've never been to prison.
    Additional Rule: If you find yourself in the prison where Kara Works, Be nice and don't piss her off
    I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

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    • #3
      Ooo! I wanna go to her prison! She's awesome!
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

      Comment

      • #4
        Rule #12 - Bite your pillow, cause it's going in dry

        I can say in all seriousness though, this is good advice should you ever go to prison (state or federal). The other inmates will use anyone they can to get what they want, and it's easy to prey on the new guys.

        Quoth RayvenQ View Post
        Additional Rule: If you find yourself in the prison where Kara Works, Be nice and don't piss her off
        Damn straight!
        "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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        • #5
          sad thing is... some of these pointers also work well for the navy

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          • #6
            Quoth PepperElf View Post
            sad thing is... some of these pointers also work well for the navy


            That is all.
            Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

            Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

            Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

            Comment

            • #7
              well not *all* of them but...
              bring plenty of reading material
              and be aware that some guys will go out of their way to spin you up, etc.

              plus don't forget you have anywhere from 400 to a couple thousand people (depending on the class of ship) stuck with each other etc.

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              • #8
                Quoth PepperElf View Post
                plus don't forget you have anywhere from 400 to a couple thousand people (depending on the class of ship) stuck with each other etc.
                Reminds me of a NCIS episode, one of the ones with DiNozzo as an Agent Afloat and he's talking to McGee via MTAC.

                McGee: "Are you alone?"
                DiNozzo: "Yeah, just me and my 5,000 closest friends. I am never alone!"
                "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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                • #9
                  Quoth AdminAssistant View Post
                  Reminds me of a NCIS episode, one of the ones with DiNozzo as an Agent Afloat and he's talking to McGee via MTAC.

                  McGee: "Are you alone?"
                  DiNozzo: "Yeah, just me and my 5,000 closest friends. I am never alone!"
                  I saw that one about 2 or 3 weeks ago . . . that was where Rocky Carroll joined the cast after Director Shepard died.
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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