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  • Insomniac and seriously stressing ... (long and somewhat desperate)

    One of the reasons my brother gave me for moving in with mom was 'free storage' -- i.e. I could keep my stuff from my apartment in her basement. Wasn't happy about it, due to the smoke issue, but I was resigned to it. I've gotten rid of a lot of stuff, though probably not as much as I could have.

    At the moment the situation with mom is very fluid -- she was rushed to hospital yesterday with what turned out to be an infection in her knee and was hospitalized overnight. I believe she will be going home today.

    Bro is still saying there's no reason for me to expect I can't go to the family home when I leave my apt. later this month. I certainly hope this is true, because I have literally nowhere else to go.

    However, I don't know what the financial situation will be when I get there. I can hardly get there and say, "Oh, I'll just dip into mom's money for whatever I need." So I will have between $2,000 and $3,000 when I do get there. This will have to do me until I can find a job or start school and get back on student loans. (Bro has been incredibly generous with me but cannot help me ATM for at least another month or so due to the escalating costs of mom's care, which he alone is covering. Sis cannot help and I certainly can't.)

    I had a storage unit ($40/month) full of stuff I haven't been able to get through yet. Brother had advised me to let it go for now.

    To move the remaining stuff from my apartment to mom's will cost $2,000. At this point I don't want to spend the money because of the above-mentioned financial situation. I had been planning to ask mom to loan me the money to move the stuff to her place, and IF she seems OK when I get there, I will still do that. I suggested to brother that I store the stuff in the meantime.

    But NOW brother is suggesting I combine the two storage units into one large one! I know I could manage the $40/month for the one storage unit, but I can't guarantee I could manage the money for a more expensive unit. We could be talking $150/month!

    I don't understand why brother seems to have flipflopped on this. First he was pushing the 'free storage' issue and now he's saying put it all in definitely non-free storage. (Sis meanwhile is chiming in with "Get rid of it all! That's what we did when we moved across the country!" But it's hard enough to be uprooted, not entirely voluntarily, without giving up everything I own on top of it.)

    Brother was also pushing the idea of "You could stay in the house until you finish school" but there is always the possibility that something could change that. And IF I have to leave the house and move into an apartment, removing some of my belongings from a large storage unit won't affect the price, so I'll be paying money for a lot of empty space.

    Brother is also pushing the matter of getting to My Hometown ASAP so I can start "replenishing my bank account." But My Hometown has even fewer job opportunities than my current location. Not saying I won't get a job, and I intend to look hard for one, but he's making it sound like I can just walk in there and grab one.

    So he wants me to get there quickly. I concur. But if I have to combine storage units, that is going to mean additional work -- a fair amount of it, since I am doing it all myself -- which may mean additional time spent here (I have the apartment until June 30, although I'd intended to move June 20, and would still like to adhere to that, if possible -- I too would like to get to My Hometown ASAP). I can only do so much in one day, I still have stuff to pack in my apt. and this is a rather abrupt turnaround from my original plans.

    I feel as if I'm suddenly getting a LOT of contradictory advice from brother -- store it free at mom's; no, store it somewhere definitely non-free; combine the two storage units into one but get to My Hometown quickly so you can get a job.

    So I'm feeling incredibly stressed over all this (and the "Get rid of it all!" philosophy isn't helping!)

    Thoughts, opinions? Am I overlooking or missing something? This has been difficult enough for me since everytime I think I am getting a handle on the situation it changes -- and not for the better.

  • #2
    For what it's worth, sounds to me like you're getting into a stress circle and just going over the same things again and again. Make some tea, or cocoa, or whatever other type of drink that you find soothing and sit down at a table or a desk with a pen and some paper.

    First, sit there for a few minutes and sip your drink and focus on that.

    You haven't mentioned what sort of transport you'll be using for the move. If it's your own car, you'll be AMAZED at how much you can pack into it. I know I was when I picked up and moved 1200 miles to Nevada and only kept what would fit in the car with me.

    Now, start going over everything you own in your head. Make some lists. Stuff you definitely MUST keep, stuff you can get rid of, stuff you'd LIKE to keep but aren't too emotionally wedded to, and stuff you're not sure about. Start with furniture and other big items. Any heirlooms or antique pieces? If not, then the large furniture can probably be gotten rid of, and is easily (and usually inexpensively) replaced if needed. Plus, you might manage to get a few dollars out of it. Move on to kitchen stuff, pots and pans, gadgets and so forth.

    Once you've got those first lists, start acting on them. If you can live without something on the get rid of list for a week or two, then try to get it gone right away. This is also a good time to go through your clothes. Be ruthless here, clothing is very easy to replace. If you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it. If it's tattered and falling apart, get rid of it (make one exception here, for the most comfy pair of tattered pants and most comfy tattered shirt). If it's not going to be needed in the climate you're moving to (example: heavy winter coat isn't needed at all in places like Florida), get rid of it. Don't forget to go thru socks and underwear in the same fashion. If you have the time, maybe see about having a yard sale with the stuff you know you're getting rid of. What doesn't sell can be donated to whatever local charity you favor.

    For packing stuff up, I highly recommend banker's boxes. The mart of wal carries them in 10 packs. They stack well, they actually fit pretty well into a trunk and back seat and you can pack a whale of a lot of stuff into one and still be able to pick it up. They're sturdy as hell too. I've even taped them up and shipped them (cost about $25 each, full of books, to ship via UPS ground).

    As far as paid storage... what are the odds of you getting back to the location of the storage to get that stuff? Certainly don't add to it or add to your costs for storing it!

    If, despite everything you can do to trim it down, you still have too much to carry yourself, look into various options for getting it moved. Rent a U-Haul and car trailer. Check around with various moving companies. See if there's any friend or acquaintance you know that has a pick up and offer to pay their fuel both ways (if it's feasible) as well as meals and lodging.
    You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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    • #3
      What are the start and end points of your move? If it's not too great a distance, have you considered making a couple trips to get everything to your mother's (free storage) rather than going to a commercial storage unit near your start point (paid storage)? A couple tanks of gas would probably come out to less than the cost of 1 month of commercial storage.
      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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      • #4
        Kittish, thank you for the advice. I think the lists will help a great deal. Mom has apparently improved tremendously so it sounds as though she will be going home shortly. At least it sounds as if I will at least have a roof over my head. Now if I can just find work ... Sis approves the 'call 'em and bug 'em' method, so I will be trying that, insofar as I can (phone calls from here to there are going to be prohibitive).

        Yes, I am taking my car. I don't want to give up all my furniture because if I need to move abruptly, at least I will have some furniture. The apartment stuff was supposed to go in mom's basement; once I get some kind of income I can move it out of storage and bring it to her house. As for the smaller unit, I expect to get back here next year and deal with it then. Brother has agreed that, as it is not terribly costly ($40 month) and due to time constraints, I can let it go at this point.

        Your points about clothing are very well taken. I think I could clothe a small Third World village right now. There's no need to carry it all home; heaven knows when I'll wear it! So that will be my first task. Kitchenware will be next; I've gotten rid of a lot but more can go.

        The U-Haul idea is good ... but I've never driven with a trailer before and I don't think this is a good time to start learning -- it's a seven-hour trip. Sadly, I don't know anybody with a pickup. I had contacted a moving company and it will be $2,000 to get my stuff to Windsor and down into mom's basement. The latter is the tricky part; that's why I'd rather use professionals.

        Thank you again for your advice. It will help a great deal.

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        • #5
          Quoth wolfie View Post
          What are the start and end points of your move? If it's not too great a distance, have you considered making a couple trips to get everything to your mother's (free storage) rather than going to a commercial storage unit near your start point (paid storage)? A couple tanks of gas would probably come out to less than the cost of 1 month of commercial storage.
          Wolfie, that's normally what I do when I move. However, this is 378 kilometres (235 miles) -- or four hours. And that's using Highway 401, which is not the way I intend to travel. I haven't used superhighways in a long time and there's a section near Hamilton that, to my mind, is hell on earth. I literally couldn't cope with it.

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          • #6
            Kittish, funny you should mention antiques ... I do have an antique dresser, but I could see if I can't sell it. I bought it at an auction many years ago, and I'll be sorry to see it go, but it's not something I'll lose sleep over. Somewhere down the line I'm sure I can find another antique dresser.

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            • #7
              Well I have no advice unfortunately, but *hugs* are available.

              As for the dresser, some of them can go for a good deal of money..which might improve your financial situation.
              Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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              • #8
                Thanks, Mytical ... hugs are just as welcome! I don't have to make a decision right at this moment, so will ponder it a bit. Given the speed at which things vanish when I post them on Kijiji, it's not a matter of great urgency.

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                • #9
                  For help with the insomnia, try taking an over the counter melatonin supplement, either 3 or 5 mg. Read the conflicts on the back, first, of course, but since melatonin is also naturally occurring in the body, it rarely conflicts seriously with anything. I started taking it about 3 months ago and have noticed serious improvement in my sleep patterns. Since it is natural, you can take it longer term than sleeping pills, without worrying about it being habit forming or addictive, although some bottles recommend taking a "break" of about a week every 60 days or so.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Pixilated View Post
                    The U-Haul idea is good ... but I've never driven with a trailer before and I don't think this is a good time to start learning -- it's a seven-hour trip.
                    You can also rent box-trucks from U-Haul. You would have to figure out a way to collect up your car... either drive the truck back and then get your car, or take the hit for non-local drop of the truck and then take the bus back to get your car. Given the length of the trip the cost for gas might make taking the bus back worthwhile (not to mention you'd probably enjoy the bus ride more than the driving). Or maybe you can find someone willing to help with the driving.......
                    There's no such thing as a stupid question... just stupid people.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth It's me View Post
                      You can also rent box-trucks from U-Haul. You would have to figure out a way to collect up your car... either drive the truck back and then get your car, or take the hit for non-local drop of the truck and then take the bus back to get your car.
                      Or rent both a box-truck and either a dolly (only if your car can be towed with the rear wheels on the ground) or a platform trailer, take the hit for non-local drop, and bring your car with you.
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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