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  • Try opening your mouth and forming words

    This is an old one from when I worked at "gamestore". It's been a busy morning, I've fallen behind on my daily inventory counts and such so by the time the lunch rush is over I'm scrambling to catch up. I have my back to the counter counting games in a drawer when suddenly I hear...

    "Ahem".

    I realize there is someone at the counter but I do not repond to the noise of throat clearing so I simply ignore the customer and go about my business. Then he does it louder.

    "AHEM."

    Again, I ignore him and again he does it louder.

    "AHEM!"

    Finally, I turn around:

    Me : "Can I help you?"

    SC: "Yes you can help me! I've been standing here for 5 minutes. Didn't you hear me calling you?"

    Me:"No sir, I didn't."

    SC: "I don't believe you, I called you three times."

    Me: "You cleared your throat three times, that doesn't tell me anything about whether you actually need help or you just have something caught in your throat."

    SC: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

    Me:

    Me: "What can I do for you?"

    SC:"I need these." (he gently tosses three cases in my general direction and I proceed with ringing him out).

    Me: "Anything else I can do for you?"

    SC: "Yeah, learn some manners! I swear people in here are getting ruder all the time."

    Me: (biting tongue) "Have a great day, sir."

    *SC leaves*

    Now I admit I wasn't super happy friendly with him because 1) I was already feeling tired and overworked after a very busy week and 2) The throat clearing thing REALLY pissed me off.

    Fortunately he didn't complain to corporate but if he had I honestly wouldn't have cared.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
    Me: "Anything else I can do for you?"

    SC: "Yeah, learn some manners!
    "You first, sir."

    Seriously, if he were at a dinner party, and wanted the rolls sitting at the other end of the table, which would he say:

    "Please pass the rolls," or
    "Ahem....Ahem!...AHEM!!!"

    And he has the gall to complain that other people are the rude ones?!
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • #3
      The worst is when they whistle at you, like you're a sheep dog. Once a guy did that to me and I ignored him until he used his words. He asked why I didn't help sooner and I told him I didn't know he needed help, I thought someone had lost their dog.
      https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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      • #4
        I had someone on the computer kiosks snap their fingers at me. I ignored him and helped other people. He started whistling. I started looking around for a lost dog. My coworkers and the other people were amused. The jerk didn't get it.

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        • #5
          It's really amazing how often people will just stand there and make some noise instead of using words to get attention. When I was mainly on the front register my back would be turned if I was filling the cigarettes and wouldn't see if someone came up to the counter. They would loudly put their stuff down, drop keys on the counter or something else and I'd see them. Then they usually say "Oh, I didn't want to interrupt you!" Okay, if you want to stand around while I finish what I'm doing that's fine. But last I checked it was part of my job to ring people up (and get them out of my damn store) as quickly as possible.

          I've had people whistle and snap their fingers. I will take my time walking over to the register and not say more than I have to. I find they're the same ones that will say "If it doesn't scan it must be free!" and "You look bored!" Assholes.
          I would have a nice day, but I have other things to do.

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          • #6
            If someone treats you like a dog (i.e. whistling when they want your attention), are you tempted to act like a dog - i.e. do a leg lift to claim them as your territory?

            For those who clear their throat, I'd be tempted to, without turning around, say "Cough drops are at $Location".
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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            • #7
              D will force me to help the throat-clearers if he sees them; he'll say something to me like "This customer needs help, I didn't know if you saw that."

              Yes, I did see that and no, I didn't know they needed help because staring, whistling or throat-clearing is not a generally-accepted way of asking.

              I was wearing ears and tail one Halloween, and an SC decided to start whistling at me. Cue an actual dog bounding over from the next register (dog belonged to an awesome regular and thought SC was calling them) and straight to SC. I just stood at the paystation pretending to change the receipt tape while the regular said "If you want someone who speaks human, try asking like a human." This seemed to reboot his brain and he was able to figure it out (nothing that required any help, just the usual comprehension failure).
              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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              • #8
                People barely even make sounds at my work. They walk by the aisle and then just stop. I consciously choose to finish stocking whatever is in my hands before making eye contact and asking what they need. (I try to be nice, but it seems silly to ask "do you need help?" because obviously they do or else why are they staring at me) If the person says something of course I will speak with them, but they don't they just hover in my peripheral vision.

                Kind of like this strip, except I do know they are there, most of the time. This wasn't even the one I was thinking of. I swear there's one with a thought bubble coming from the customer saying something like "I need help" and Marla thinking "ask for help!"

                Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                • #9
                  I wish I could pull up the exact quote, but in the Harry Potter books, I love how McGonagall responds to Umbridge's throat clearing.
                  To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                  • #10
                    Mr Hero -- This, perhaps?
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                    • #11
                      Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                      If the person says something of course I will speak with them, but they don't they just hover in my peripheral vision.
                      That's a bit of a problem for me, as I wear very strong glasses and thus don't have good peripheral vision (no lens on the side, after all, and it probably wouldn't be very comfortable if there was). Sometimes I literally cannot see someone standing there glaring at me.

                      Dear customers, if you need assistance, ask for it. Just like you would with someone who doesn't work in customer service. You may think we're beneath you, but there is no caste system in our country, we are all equal citizens.
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        Reminds me of a time in a used bookstore. Walked up to the counter with a large stack of books to purchase. Owner is puttering away behind the desk while the wife is sitting behind the till on the internet. I stand there within the peripheral vision of both. Neither look up. I say "excuse me" softly, still ignored. Dump the books on the counter and walk out. "Oh, did you need help?" I hear as I walk out the door.

                        Ignored them and left never to return, store went out of business not too long after that...

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                        • #13
                          Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                          This wasn't even the one I was thinking of. I swear there's one with a thought bubble coming from the customer saying something like "I need help" and Marla thinking "ask for help!"
                          There is.

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                          • #14
                            Almost as bad, I have seasonal allergies (as in, name a season, I got an allergy ), so I get asked if I need anything even when I'm looking at a shelf and clearing my throat by habit. It happens both ways, I guess.
                            The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                            "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                            Hoc spatio locantur.

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                            • #15
                              When I worked at Maus Planet, there were obviously language barriers that had some guests resorting to non-verbal communication to get our attention.

                              There were a few nationalities that we dreaded seeing, at least in the giant tour groups they tended to favor. They tended to try to get our attention by just pushing their way in front of everyone else and getting right.up.in our personal space. And if that didn't work, they had no problem grabbing whatever part of me happened to be closest.

                              If I was really lucky, they *pinched.* (I usually wore one of two costumes, depending on which shop I was working at. One was more flattering and comfortable in the Florida heat, but had short sleeves. When I wore it, my arms frequently looked "dirty" with bruises by the end of the day. The other was a floor-length dress made of hideous polyester knit. But the sleeves went all the way to my wrists, and the fabric was too thick to effectively pinch through.)

                              There were other guests who weren't nearly as bad - sometimes even charming, if a bit frustrating. Often, they wanted very badly to make eye contact before saying anything or making any kind of gesture, which meant someone else often commanded our attention before we could realize they were trying to interact. I got attuned to people hovering nearby with their face turned toward me, not saying anything. Once I made eye contact and smiled, they would start communicating - often they spoke perfectly passable English.

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