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  • Feeling down and hopeless.

    So if you all have read my post regarding the house, you'll know what's gone on with me. I'm on meds (have been since 2012) and have just been feeling hopeless and down for the past several days, and just worrying over every possible bad scenario. Worrying over money, car, etc. What do you all do to cope? Suggestions are appreciated. I have tried praying lately too.

  • #2
    1) Massively trimmed my music playlist to remove depressing songs. Upbeat only! I'm very susceptible to mood music. Which meant losing a few of my favourite rock ballads.

    2) Watch what I'm eating. If my body is feeling grungy because I've been eating rubbish/not eating enough it effects my mood. The occasional treat is fine, but overall healthy and regular eating has a knock-on effect.

    3) Get outside and get some fresh air. Luckily I live near the sea, so if I'm feeling bad I walk down to the beach, sit on a bench and watch the world go by for a while. Somehow seeing the sea endlessly rolling in and out puts things in perspective. Do you have any parks or forests near you? If you do, going for a walk in them can make a real difference; there have been multiple studies showing that exercise, particularly in a nature setting rather than an urban setting, can ease depressive symptoms.

    4) Regarding money worries, be practical. Look at how much money you have coming in per month. Look at the "can't avoid" money going out every month; utilities, food, taxes, motor bills. Look at the "optional" money going out every month; eating out/take-away meals, expensive phone/entertainment packages, etc. If your "can't avoid" outgoings are less than your income, you're doing well, as you can trim back on the rest. If not, then you need to work out either alternate sources of income (getting your property rented out would be ideal for that) or look at your food/utility habits.

    Are there cheaper versions (such as store brand) of your common foods that can be improved with a few herbs/tomato puree/whatever more cheaply than buying the big brands? Is there a cheaper petrol station that you can access rather than a more convenient but more expensive petrol station? Can you move to a cheaper package on your phone/entertainment packages? Are there other utility companies that offer better deals for gas/electric/etc.?

    5) Since money is an issue, I can't recommend getting a pet, but perhaps volunteer at your local animal shelter? Studies have proved that spending time interacting with and petting animals can lower blood pressure and heart rates and boost endorphins. There's also the happy little glow of knowing you're doing something good.
    "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

    Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

    The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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    • #3
      Thank you! Long story short - I also had my meds changed by a psychiatrist back in July (I went to a new one last month and got back on my original ones) but I still have bouts of sadness, crying, and sometimes panic attacks. Last night, I awoke panicking for no reason but took a Xanax to calm down and it worked. I have been on this set of meds for 5 weeks and was told to give them time to take effect, so i'm holding off calling my doc about these recurring problems for a few more days. I'm afraid to bother her. My wife thinks i'm being a bit of a hypochondriac and am looking for a quick fix with meds. Maybe that is the case.

      But as for #1 - I did remove all sad songs from the music list. For #2, I spent a majority of Friday/Saturday outside working on Christmas stuff, and I admittedly felt a lot better. I'll have to spend more time outsides.

      As far as the eating goes, the wife and I are doing the Keto diet (i've gone from 350lbs to 290 lbs) but i'm not as "strict" as she is with carbs (I do no more than 50-60 carbs a day). I slowly reintroduced carbs. I found that the diet was keeping me awake at night and having some carbs helped me sleep a bit better. I cut out sodas and such and junk foods, so that is helping.

      Regarding money, the wife and I do work. We do have student loans (right now dealing with the Public Service Loan Forgiveness people but that's been fruitless), a car payment, rent, mortgage (with insurance rising since the house is now vacant) but we are watching the money. We are eating out less (hardly ever in fact) and have cut down on entertainment expenses. I guess I was just used to the "luxury" of an extra few hundred dollars a month midway through the month in the form of rent. We have some savings but I worry about something happening to my car or empty house, and have been told I worry too much about what's not happened yet. I guess I was raised to think the worst could happen. I've spoken to my therapist about this and she thinks that I am just "predicting" the future and that I need to "live in the now".

      We do have three dogs, which we love more than anything. I will admit since making the move from teaching high school to teaching college, i've had some more free time and am a lot less occupied. I do some online tutoring in the evenings for a few extra dollars. Wife says I need to occupy myself better, and she's probably right. I'm not the most patient person at times, and I may be looking for a quick medicinal fix. Who knows? But thank you all for listening and letting me vent!

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      • #4
        You're welcome

        Regarding the worrying, have you ever tried the worry tree? It's a decision flow chart to help you work through things that are worrying you. For each thing that worries you, go through the following steps:

        The Worry Tree

        It takes practice, but it can help. My advice, though, is do something else rather than think of something else. It's easier to disrupt a train of thought if you're physically doing something else.

        Unfortunately your wife has a point about the meds, although they are necessary. Think of depression and anxiety as a broken bone, and medication as a cast. It will work short term, but without follow up (physio for breaks, therapy for depression/anxiety) then you will never fully recover. Without the "cast", though, you can end up injuring yourself even more than you have so far.
        "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

        Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

        The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

        Comment


        • #5
          I did speak to my psychiatrist yesterday. One of the reasons I love her - she's not enabling me with a "quick fix" with meds. She is steering me towards Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. And the Worry Tree makes perfect sense. I have saved a copy to my phone and printed one out and put it in my wallet. Thank you again. Today I feel a lot better than usual. Let's see if the train keeps a-rolling!

          Much thanks to you.

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          • #6
            I've had to use the worry tree more than once in my life! CBT is good, if you put the work in; it basically re-trains your brain so that when you start sliding into that whirlpool of misery/depression/anxiety/hopelessness you can recognise the signs and try to put the methods you've been taught into practice to bring yourself out of it.

            I won't lie; sometimes life comes along and kicks you in the butt so hard that you don't have time to put the training into practice, however what it does do in those situations is help you to crawl out of it and lessen the amount of time you're feeling at your worst.

            I've been there myself, so I'm glad that you're willing to put the time and effort into pulling yourself out of this emotional hole. Also, keep talking! Even if it's posting on here, it can make a huge difference. I'm not exaggerating when I say that reading through and posting on this site has been one of the few things to keep my head above water at times in the past. Just knowing I have a safe place where I can come and vent makes a huge difference.
            "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

            Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

            The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

            Comment

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