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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • #31
    - Bartenders are not allowed to tell new servers to go in the back and get a can of steam for the cappucino machine

    - Cooks are not allowed to tell the new servers to go and fetch the plastic frying pan
    "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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    • #32
      As a dispatcher:

      - Probably not a good idea to send an electronic message to a driver asking him what is he wearing

      - Nor when he finally gets a call sent to him to send him another message telling him to put his clothes on he has a new call

      - Also probably not a good idea to send a message that asks the driver to make sure the member has their clothes on right

      - You should probably make sure you have fully released the button on the two-way radio or walkie talkie phone and have completely hung the business line up when you start making fun of the person on the other end


      Meant for one co-worker (there are 4 of us from my dept. on here, this one is not! Even if she was, I doubt she'd think this was about her)

      - Referring to the your co-workers as your butler is not recommended.

      - Telling your co-workers you can't do the job of two people when actually what they are asking you to do is in the job description of one person and is, in fact, YOUR job - is not advisable.

      - Talking on your personal cell phone AND the business line at the same time with conversations that are not remotely related to your job and then yelling at your co-workers telling them you are too busy to do your job is also not advisable.

      - Thinking that you are the best at your job and telling other co-workers that everyone hates them is also...NOT ADVISABLE and giggling in a cutesy manner after you say it DOES NOT excuse what you just said

      - Gossiping on the business line to the supervisor while your other co-workers can hear what you are saying - NOT ADVISABLE

      - Telling another co-worker that you NEVER talk about them when asked about your gossiping is not only not advisable but also unbelievable bullshit!

      Woo...glad to get that off my chest!
      "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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      • #33
        Quoth Mr. Rude View Post
        Sweet!!

        ....Although, I did save the list this time...

        Thanks again Crosshair
        In regards to your original one, 125 and 126... Cat5 is a standard for RJ-45 cable (I usually just refer to RJ-45 as the connectors that you have to crimp on).

        But trust me, 20' of Cat5e is all you need to end it all.

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        • #34
          Dutch Hater!!
          "I reject your reality and substitute my own"....Adam Savage-Mythbuster

          Must remember to stop using "brain of death" on slower morons.... I meant customers.

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          • #35
            Quoth Mr. Rude View Post
            Dutch Hater!!

            I SURE AM YO, I SURE AM IS BE DAT'!

            I used the pibcak error thing today :>

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            • #36
              I am not allowed to have a duel with a coworker (with plastic pirate pistols), with the result that I dive behind the rotisserie chicken stand for sniper shooting.

              Even the cop on duty laughed, though.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #37
                Not allowed to have the following books under the gun counter to use when debating a customer on gun subjects: Cartridges of the World, Small Arms of the 20th Century, Machineguns of the World, The Geneva Conventions, Reloading manuals of ANY kind, Complete copy of the 1934 NFA act, 1968 GC Act, and 1986 FOP Act, and the 1994 AWB Act (Now dead), or The Second Amendment Primer.

                Stop refering to North Dakota as a "Free state".

                Stop refering to California as, "Commiefornia."

                Even if the customers agree with me.

                Not allowed to time my NICS checks.

                When helping unload truck and management asks if we need anything, the phrase, "WE DEMAND A SHRUBBERY" is not to be used.

                When discussing preperations for this years "Black Friday" I am not allowed to suggest the use of rubber buckshot or cattle prods on customers.
                "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                • #38
                  Quoth Crosshair View Post
                  When discussing preperations for this years "Black Friday" I am not allowed to suggest the use of rubber buckshot or cattle prods on customers.
                  Interesting. I'm allowed to suggest it. We won't be allowed, but at least I can suggest it.
                  I AM the evil bastard!
                  A+ Certified IT Technician

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                  • #39
                    When helping unload truck and management asks if we need anything, the phrase, "WE DEMAND A SHRUBBERY" is not to be used.
                    I don't get it

                    But that might be the point.
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                    • #40
                      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                      I don't get it

                      But that might be the point.
                      Monty Python reference.
                      The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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                      • #41
                        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                        I don't get it
                        Monty Python quote.
                        "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                        • #42
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          I don't get it

                          But that might be the point.
                          Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail

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                          • #43
                            When customers want cigs, I can't just look at them for a while and then say "oh, you wanted them NOW...?"

                            Even if they AND my boss think that it's funny.
                            I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                            Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

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                            • #44
                              Deflating and boxing basketballs for winter storage does not involve a Buck knife or a BB gun.

                              Stop using double negatives.

                              Stop pointing out when management uses double negatives.

                              Stop pointing out when coustomers use double negatives.

                              Stop storing cookies in the gun safe display.

                              Ditto for soda.

                              Do not put polka music into the display CD players.

                              Do not name the pallet jacks. (Someone wrote car names on the pallet jacks with a sharpie. "Hey, where is my Pinto!!!")

                              Do not reconfigure the camera monitor in the TLE to recieve TV signals. Even if you can switch between camera and TV mode with the push of a button.

                              Do not tell people that they can't sleep or go to the bathroom while waiting in line for PS3. (Co-workers in Electronics did this.)

                              Not allowed to make fun of people waiting in line for the PS3 while on the clock.

                              (Next day) Not allowed to make fun of people waiting in line for the PS3 even if I am off the clock.

                              Even if it involves a clown suit, Lysol, and is really really funny.
                              "Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan

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                              • #45
                                -Put up a hammock
                                -Preposition cute customers (I haven't done this, I'm just saying... )
                                -Challenge customers to games of foosball
                                -Jump on counters to do your monkey impersenation. It will end badly.
                                -Heckle customers for owning a Neon
                                -Start a kariokee competition with the background music
                                I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

                                Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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