I was hoping I'd never have to do this

[Seshat]

Preface: I don't want to turn this into a debate about euthanasia.


As many of you know, I'm in chronic, significant-to-severe pain. This has given me a very personal perspective on euthanasia.

For now, I have quality of life. Things I enjoy doing, people I enjoy being with. Much of the time, this is enough to matter more than the pain. However, should my problems become more severe, or should I develop new, severe problems - I can easily foresee a time when it won't. Should that time come, I would bless the doctor who gave me a morphine overdose.

I say this, only because - well. A human feels this way. It may be projecting my own feelings onto animals, but I think the animals feel this way too. At least those who are capable of enough understanding.


It is kindness to take our suffering friends who cannot be cured (or whose cure would consist of excessive suffering that cannot be explained to them), and gently put them to sleep.

Mike (and the others who have mentioned having to do this): you did the right thing.

[tropicsgoddess]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just buried my dog,Bear yesterday and I know how you feel right now . It sucks and it hurts real bad.

[MadMike]

Mike (and the others who have mentioned having to do this): you did the right thing.

I keep trying to tell myself that. I had a bit of an episode Friday night at karaoke. If I would have been going alone, I probably would have said "fuck it", but my friends were going to be there and I wanted to see them. I picked up my friend Nikki (my friend from the "some people need to not drink" thread, or whatever I called it), and met the rest of my friends there. My friend Denyelle was the first to greet me, and she hugged me extra-tight, because she knew what had happened. Her sister Connie was there, and asked me how I was. When I told her what happened, she looked like she was going to start crying. Kellie and her twin sister Wendy showed up a little later. They didn't stay long, but they did their best to cheer me up.

I was talking with the DJ, and I told him what happened, and I had to stop him before he said something stupid that would get me upset. He asked me, "You still have other cats, right? Well, there ya go!" And I told him, "Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't miss the ones that I lost." He said, "Yeah, you're right", and left it at that. Kellie had lost her favorite cat a few years ago, and was really broke up about it, and his words of encouragement were "You can get another one." He's lucky she didn't rip him a new one. She's just a little thing, but she can be quite vicious when proked, and I would never want to have her pissed at me. I don't think he intended to be insensitive, I think he just doesn't understand that to those of us who love our pets, they're not just animals; they're members of our family. What he said to Kellie would have been like someone telling him after his mom died, "Your dad can re-marry."

The whole night felt like a battle to keep my emotions in check. In fact, I almost fell apart while singing my last song of the night. I walked off by myself afterwards, and Nikki came to check on me. She always knows when something's wrong. I can't seem to hide anything from her. I had flashed back to poor Frisky lying on the examination table, unable to move and gasping for air, and he just seemed to be looking at me, expecting me to fix him, to make him whole again, and as I said to Nikki, "Instead I had them kill him! I even signed a piece of paper telling them to do it!" I remember now that after they gave him the first shot, which sedated him, I thought to myself, "It's not too late to call this off. He'll wake up if I stop this." Nikki reminded me of the kind words I offered her when her mother died, and assured me that Frisky was "in a better place", just as I had assured her that her mother was.

When I took Nikki home, I came inside to play with her kitten, and he let me hold him while he purred for me and gave me kisses. I hung out with her and her husband for a bit, and then went home and crashed hard, being extremely wiped out at that point.

The next day, I woke up with the migraine from hell. My wife and I were supposed to get groceries, and I decided to get us some lunch and see how it went. By the time I finished lunch, I was in a lot of pain and feeling nauseous, so my wife went to the store herself while I went back home to sleep it off. The two little cats -- Lion and his brother Radar -- were on the bed. Radar just kept hissing for no apparent reason. He does that anyway, but this time he seemed to be doing it even more than usual. I'm almost wondering if Frisky's ghost is in the house.

The place just seems to empty without him. He was the cat we had the longest, and we moved into this house with him, as well as the last apartment. It's hard to believe it was just a week ago that I started to think something was wrong.

As always, I appreciate everyone's words of sympathy. You guys rock!

[Seraph]

<hugs> I am so sorry to hear about this, MadMike. My deepest sympathies.

[protege]

I'm almost wondering if Frisky's ghost is in the house.

I thought something similar when Snow died. I'd see a flash of something white, never directly, but always out of the corner of my eye. It was usually in the living room, where Snow usually slept. Also, when I'd be working in my office, I'd hear some strange scratching noises coming from the corner. Snow would usually curl up and sleep in that corner...and she'd spend several minutes kneading the carpet and getting comfy.

It wouldn't surprise me if Frisky had come home. Departed pets have a way of checking on their owners, to see if you're OK. Snow hung around, mainly because I took her in after nobody wanted her, and treated her like I'd treat any kitty--lots of petting, cuddling, treats, etc. Even though I don't hear the scratching noise much now, I don't think she's totally gone--I'm sure she's playing with the current kitties. Both Baxter and Sally will suddenly run around the house...either chasing each other, or apparently *being* chased.

[Seraph]

I thought something similar when Snow died. I'd see a flash of something white, never directly, but always out of the corner of my eye. It was usually in the living room, where Snow usually slept. Also, when I'd be working in my office, I'd hear some strange scratching noises coming from the corner. Snow would usually curl up and sleep in that corner...and she'd spend several minutes kneading the carpet and getting comfy.

I constantly keep thinking I still see Kyo out of the corner of my eye. Couple of occasions its been such a strong "I thought I saw you!" that I've burst into tears. (Freaked out my hubby, which was vaguely amusing)

I joked with my husband though that it couldn't possibly be him, even a ghost Kyo would probably move like molasses. XD

[tropicsgoddess]

I was talking with the DJ, and I told him what happened, and I had to stop him before he said something stupid that would get me upset. He asked me, "You still have other cats, right? Well, there ya go!" And I told him, "Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't miss the ones that I lost." He said, "Yeah, you're right", and left it at that. Kellie had lost her favorite cat a few years ago, and was really broke up about it, and his words of encouragement were "You can get another one." He's lucky she didn't rip him a new one. She's just a little thing, but she can be quite vicious when proked, and I would never want to have her pissed at me. I don't think he intended to be insensitive, I think he just doesn't understand that to those of us who love our pets, they're not just animals; they're members of our family. What he said to Kellie would have been like someone telling him after his mom died, "Your dad can re-marry."

--------------<SNIP!>-------------------

The place just seems to empty without him. He was the cat we had the longest, and we moved into this house with him, as well as the last apartment.

Not every one understands the heartache of losing a pet, unfortunately. Even though we have the kitties, the house seems too quiet without him barking up a storm, chasing a toy around or playing with the kitties. After SO's old dog Rocky died of old age back in '05 we didn't get another dog until 6 months later (which was Bear as a wee pup at 7 weeks old). SO wants to get another dog once we get settled up north. The house doesn't feel right without a dog around, especially Bear. Even our male kitty Bullseye (aka Bully) cried all day for Bear when he passed on. Me, SO and MIL all were in tears when we buried Bear on Sunday morning. Even before we buried Bear, I cried all morning. What sucks about the grieving process is how you can feel okay for a while and just that little flashback or reminder can just make you tear up.

[Seshat]

The two little cats -- Lion and his brother Radar -- were on the bed. Radar just kept hissing for no apparent reason. He does that anyway, but this time he seemed to be doing it even more than usual. I'm almost wondering if Frisky's ghost is in the house.

They know. In their own way, they're grieving too.


Spend some extra time loving on them, if they'll tolerate it. (They may want to grieve alone.) It'll be good for you all.

[Dreamstalker]

*HUGS* I am so sorry, MadMike.

It is kindness to take our suffering friends who cannot be cured (or whose cure would consist of excessive suffering that cannot be explained to them), and gently put them to sleep.

That's my thoughts as well. When we had to make the choice to put McGriff down, the vet was honest and told us that the treatment may not work and that he would still be in pain. If we could have him around for a few more years but we knew he was suffering what kind of a life would that be?

It wouldn't surprise me if Frisky had come home. Departed pets have a way of checking on their owners, to see if you're OK.

We think McGriff is still around the apartment. White flashes/a furry presence in spots, floorboard creaks in his favorite places, and really unexplained appearances of white fur on clothes.

[Seraph]

We think McGriff is still around the apartment. White flashes/a furry presence in spots, floorboard creaks in his favorite places, and really unexplained appearances of white fur on clothes.

Heh. Just last night I went and opened a box of older clothes to go through. There was, literally, a massive cloud of orange fur that just POOFED into the air. Drove our current cats nuts, they kept sniffing the box and looking around for him.

I gathered up as much as I could and put it in a little box so I can keep it for the memories.