New member - real old routine

[Juggler]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt any of them would go up to a person with a cane and practice their diagnosis skills.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Oh, yeah they do. I recently got a bad case of 'book back' (a really bad sprain/torn muscle in the lower back). I couldn't do the walking or standing thing well but I could manage to get around on a office chair with a cane and could ring up customers as long as I had the counter to lean on.

These types of injuries take forever to heal. In fact I still feel some pain when transitioning from sitting to/from standing or standing for more than a few minutes.

I haven't had a real doctor diagnose me at work yet. But I've had to endure numerous chiropracters and accupuncturist claim that they could treat me. I'm sure their treatment would be about as good as having someone put on a big ugly mask, shaking rattles and dancing around me. Considering that the actual doctor told me that it will heal slowly with minor help from the usual home remedies, I'm not giving these charlatains a chance to claim success for treating something that is going away by itself.

[smalltownclerk]

I have Lupus. When I mention it, people will always ask "What exactly is Lupus?" I try to explain, but then I see their eyes glaze over and I let the matter drop. I wish "House" was right and that "It's never Lupus."

[Seshat]

HIPAA is America's medical privacy law. Or laws, really.

Basically, I'm sure that whatever country you're in, a medically trained person is required to maintain privacy about your medical situation. Talking about it openly, in public, is a breach of privacy laws....

[CinSim]

I recommend saying politely, "Thanks for wanting to help, but I'm quite satisfied with my current doctor, and I'd prefer not to discuss it further. Where do you work?" You could substitute any work-relevant question for the last bit, but if you don't have anything better to talk about, asking them where they work gives them a graceful, face-saving out, and they get to talk about themselves. If they try any followup, you can merely repeat, "I'd prefer not to discuss it further. Isn't the weather lousy today?"

Practice (with a friend) saying it a few times, until it rolls off your tongue readily. You can work up a variation or two for when your stock answer doesn't quite fit.

[mathnerd]

First of all, even though you didn't ask for it, here's some hugs because you deserve them. Gentle hugs, of course.

Second, you do not have to answer these people. Etiquette does not dictate that you must disclose personal information just because somebody asks. You can refuse to engage in these conversations without being rude. Come up with a polite non-answer, then "bean dip". Something like "Thanks for your concern, but I trust my personal doctor to take the best possible care of me. Have you tried the bean dip?" CinSim's phrasing is also good.

Third, you'd be surprised what people comment on. Two of my three children suffer from a hereditary bone disease. Depending on what they're wearing, it can be very obvious that something is wrong. Long sleeves and pants cover surgical scars and "bumpy bones", but we live in Florida, so that's not always possible. Also, one of the boys uses a wheelchair. Sometimes I feel like educating the public, but my boys also deserve their privacy, and having people ask intimate questions definitely invades that privacy. Sometimes I really want to start asking these people questions about their medical issues, but that would be retaliatory rudeness, and that's not okay either. I usually put on my best "shocked" look and say "I realize that you're curious, but I really don't want to betray my children's trust by divulging their personal medical information to complete strangers. I do appreciate your concern though." I say that with a huge smile and most people realize they've crossed a line and change the subject.

[ComputerWrestler]

Hi doctors performing HIPAA violations, my name is Really High Priced Bulldog Lawyer!

Nice to meet you.

(And how utterly disgusting...no one but the medical professional treating the person should make ANY comment at all, and in the privacy of their office with the patient.)

[fireheart]

I have Lupus. When I mention it, people will always ask "What exactly is Lupus?" I try to explain, but then I see their eyes glaze over and I let the matter drop. I wish "House" was right and that "It's never Lupus."

Just try and give it a simplified explanation.

[Bandit]

I have Lupus.

Same here.

I usually dumb it down enough to say "My immune system gets bored and starts going after the soft, gooshie things it shouldn't. Ya know, like the skin, liver, kidneys. That stuff."

Usually they leave me alone after that.

B

[Sundassa]

I thought doctors didn't like giving advice outside their office for fear of being sued. I'd probably ask for their name, the office they work at, and the hospital they are associated with. There would be a legal department I am sure you could reach to explain this breach of professional behavior. If they can't give you the information, politely tell them that you have to see a doctor that will.

[EricKei]

Sundassa -- IIRC, you're right; in general, real ones don't. Ditto attorneys. If someone claims to be a "doctor" so as to unwanted dispense advice, or a "lawyer" (note: these sorts almost never say "attorney") in order to get their way, ask them for their business card. If they're lying (which is likely), you have every right to tell them off. If they actually told the truth, wait til they're gone, call their office, and have a word with their boss/business partner. Legalities aside, this sort of thing does NOT look good for their firms.

[Mango]

You know what's strange about this?

Every doctor I've ever met hates to be accosted by patients in public. A friend of mine who is a dentist often tells a story of a mother who happened to meet him on a ski hill and demanded he offer an opinion about one of her son's teeth.

Clearly we need to send you on this individual's vacation, and have her cover your shift at your shop. I see no downside to this.

[EricKei]

... a mother who happened to meet him on a ski hill and demanded he offer an opinion about one of her son's teeth.

Doc: Okay, lesee...Well! You see those trees over there? If he loses control and skis into them, he'll probably lose a few of those teeth. That'll be $200, please.

[camjuniper]

I usually dumb it down enough to say "My immune system gets bored and starts going after the soft, gooshie things it shouldn't. Ya know, like the skin, liver, kidneys. That stuff."

Usually they leave me alone after that.

B

also @smalltownclerk

My aunt has myasthenia gravis, which no one ever knows about and I usually explain it by saying it's kind of like Lupus. Oddly enough, those folks always go, Oooh, okay. But maybe they don't want to admit that I made it about as clear as mud with my explanation!