Engage eyes before engaging mouth

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Had to deal with the following two 920s and their premature vocal ejaculations today:

Lady: (standing in front of the cough drops) Where you hidin' the cough drops at?
Me: (puts on biggest shit-eating grin I can because I don't have the heart to tell her "Right in front of your friggin' FACE.")
Lady: Oh. Huh. Guess You moved them again.

Older lady: Excuse me, do you have any more of these? (A bag of Reese's Pieces shaped like a carrot, meant for stuffing in Easter baskets.)
Me: (standing right in front of an endstand full of them) They're right here.
Older lady: Oh, if they were a snake, it would've bit me!
Me:

[crazylegs]

Now, Mr. Freleigh,

You know, as a retail drone, that your entire purpose in life is to help those too stupid to navigate their way through life and particularly through your store, personally I feel sorry for those two little old ladies, I mean, its not as if there is sufficient lighting, signage and display material for someone to actuall look for something themselves now is there?

Oh, sorry? There is?

Well bugger the lot of them then!

[Foxglove8778]

Where you hidin' the cough drops at?

It's the best hiding place EVAH! It always works! In. Plain. Sight. You'd never think to look there of all places. Wooooohooooo

[Andara Bledin]

Older lady: Oh, if they were a snake, it would've bit me!

That's actually something I've done for years with family and friends.

Any time someone asks where something is and it's within arm's reach, I just tell them, "Snake! Snake!" and that gets them looking closer rather than farther. My ex is the type that can have his hand on something and still not be able to find it.

^-.-^

[blas]

Whenever customers used to get their panties in a knot over where something was and it was right in front of them, they'd try to cover up their stupidity by saying "Well, you must have moved them/hid them!"

I'd put on my stupidest smile and say "Yes sir/ma'ame, I sure did!"

[StevieJD]

I couldn't find my teddybear..... hidden under my pillow ...... when I was 4.

After that age there is no excuse for being stupid.

[RedRoseSpiral]

I loved it when a guy came at me all red faced and grunted out, "Where did you move the bar soap!" I bearly stopped myself from laughing at him. If he hadn't been so blinded by soap rage, he would have noticed they were right next to and behind me.

[sportsmom]

The second one could very well be me, but I fully admit that I can be blind as a bat sometimes. For some reason I just cannot see things that are right in front of my face.

[Jadedcarguy]

Mmm'kay, just what exactly is a 920?

[Andara Bledin]

Mmm'kay, just what exactly is a 920?

920 is one of the area codes in Wisconsin. It's been co-opted to act in much the same manner as Gravekeeper's use of 867 and the indication that anyone from that area code can be relied upon to be almost completely braindead.

^-.-^

[Jadedcarguy]

920 is one of the area codes in Wisconsin. It's been co-opted to act in much the same manner as Gravekeeper's use of 867 and the indication that anyone from that area code can be relied upon to be almost completely braindead.

^-.-^

Thanks.

I had a feeling it was something like that.

[karath]

Ah, now that sounds familiar. Except for me it's usually at home when looking for vital things like, say, bread, milk, and keys. I have, on several occasions, opened the fridge, looked in, hollered that we were out of milk...then opened it again to see the dairy logo smiling at me.

It doesn't help that I can have a map, directions, and a guide and STILL get lost while driving

And yet, I can still manage to find everything I need in a grocery store.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Thanks.

I had a feeling it was something like that.

Yup. Here in east central Wisconsin, we have vast reserves of entitlement and stupid.

[cactus]

I felt so great today when a customer said to me: "you should have scolded me! Or at least used a bit of sarcasm! I'm to stupid to be here today. I'm going right home after this!" And then we laughed a bit and I promised that next time I'll do just that. She thought I was way too polite when she asked me what the price for some socks were, and I looked at the item in her hand and gently pointed to...the price tag! And told her the price, that was, you know, on the price tag on the item she asked about
Some of our customers are gold!

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

I've used the 'if it was a snake it would've bit me' line myself. Cause as one of my college nicknames, 'TNTBTO-enium: densest element known to man,' shows, I'm a little blind sometimes. Ask my sophomore year roomies about the surprise birthday party they cooked the cake for & planned right in front of my face. I didn't figure it out until the 3rd guest showed up.

I've also said, 'well you hid it in plain sight. How'm I supposed to see that?' in the best tones of self-mockery that I can manage.