She Growled at Me... HUH

[TealJellyfish]

OK Today was one of the worst days on the phone I have had in awhile… and its only Monday
(I mainly give out phone numbers, explain our promotions and tell people how to get application forms off our website) http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=24449 Explains my current work situation and why I'm kinda in charge at the moment.

Me: OK I need you to enter your Post Code into the search field
SC: The search field (Please note search field is in the BRIGHT yellow panel)
Me: Yes its on the left of the screen in yellow. Enter your post code…
SC: Your left or mine?
Me: *hits mute and laughs.. deep breath* Yours
SC: Oh ok thanks *Hangs up*

*deep sigh* Please don’t procreate dear god!

Me: OK and what state are you calling from?
SC: State? (Now I take calls from Australia and New Zealand. NZ is to small to have states! The call came from Australia but I thought the system might have goofed)
Me: Oh are you from New Zealand?
SC: No i'm from Ozstrayla (Please note that’s as close as I can get to SC pronunciation)
Me: OK and which state was that?
SC: State?
Me: Yes State? Queensland? New South Wales, Victoria? *Pauses… waits*
SC: SEVEN (Said with Triumph..)
Me: I'm Sorry?
SC: Victoria
Me: Ok the Number is 1234 5678
SC: Seven!
Me: Good Bye

WTF? Is seven a new state and I was not informed or some new form of word that means yes?

Me: You’ll need to talk to an office in your area. Where are you located
SC: <Incredibly generic suburb which we have one in each state!>
Me: and which state is that?
SC: … Western Australia… *shoves stick up further.. is currently located in SC left eyeball*
Me: Ok the closest office to <the middle of fucking nowhere> is <office> which is 358.36 KMs away… Would you like the number *grins silently*
SC: Would they cover the area? *Stick hits brain stem*
Me: You would have to check with them (AKA not a chance in hell)
SC:… *hangs up phone*

Me: Welcome to Generic Real Estate Customer Service this is Lexi
SC: I would like to speak to the manager of Customer Service Please….
Me: I’m currently the only person Here and am acting team leader (of a team of ME!) Is there anything I can help you with?
SC: No, I need to speak to YOUR manager…
Me: My manager is currently away on personal Leave.. are you sure I cant help you?
SC: YES YOUNG LADY I AM SURE. WHEN will your HE be returning?
Me: May 5th.. would you like me to leave a SC a message
SC: HMMMMPH NO *Hangs up*

… Oh Jesus on toast.. just go away

SC: I need to speak to your property division (WTF… we don’t have that division)
Me; I’m sorry I don’t believe we have a property division... What was your enquiry and maybe one of our offices can help you…
SC: Ok ill explain this in ONE Syllable words since you obviously you cant understand.
I need someone to sell my property… *Brain resists urge to throw off filter*
Me: Ok you can speak to any of our offices about selling property. Is it a commercial or residential office?
SC: residential …
SC: and wSCe is it *he hangs up in the middle of my sentence*

Ok you.. Fall in front of a bus you self important jack arse!

Me: I need you to enter your post code in the search field.
SC: Post code?
Me: yes your post code
SC: Is that numbers or letters…. (Please note every post code in Australia is NUMBERS and has been since I was born)
Me: Its 4 Numbers.. *All hope is lost*

*whimper*

SC: I need to speak to John Smith (Name of our managing director… so yeah not a chance)
Me: I'm Sorry you will need to call our head office if you wish to speak to John!
SC: Well put me through!
Me: I cant put you through, I can *SC cuts me off*
SC: Of course you can put me through NOW DO IT!
Me: I Don’t have the ability to transfer but I can *SC cuts me off again*
SC: I am telling you to transfer me NOW
Me: and I’m sorry but I’m telling you I don’t have the ability to transfer
SC: I want to speak to your boss! *Grins with Glee*
Me: My boss is currently off on annual leave…
SC: Well give me the person above them!
Me: They are working from home today.
SC: GRRRRRRRR (Yes she actually growled at me!)

[karath]

Dear Lord! Man, Lexi, it's bad enough you have to handle that job entirely on your own, but you get to deal with these wastes of flesh while you're doing it?



Man, I am impressed! Hope the customers manage to gain some actual sentience soon; in the meantime, here's a *cyber hug*, , and :! Good luck there!

p.s. I'm trying to set the record for the most distinct emotes in one post, how am I doing so far?

[PepperElf]

SC: GRRRRRRRR

"Growling gets you nothing from me.... unless you're a puppy asking for some Snausages. Are you willing to speak human again now?"

[friendofjimmyk]

SC: GRRRRRRRR (Yes she actually growled at me!)

I babysit a 4 year old that growls at me when she doesn't get her way.

[PsychoSamurai]

ROFL, they growled at you......

If that ever happens again, you should tell them that growling over the phone doesn't work all that well - you have to be face to vace to get the full effect.

Either that or ask them if they want you to connect them with ANIMAL CONTROL.

[PepperElf]

or... start meowing at them?

[Posture Moll]

Ok ill explain this in ONE Syllable words since you obviously you cant understand.
I need someone to sell my property… *Brain resists urge to throw off filter*

I believe several of those were polysyllabic, sir/madam.

[Dreamstalker]

or... start meowing at them?

I've either growled back or meowed at people who growl at me. Sometimes that will cause their brain to reboot and get them speaking Human again.

[BookstoreEscapee]

"Growling gets you nothing from me.... unless you're a puppy asking for some Snausages. Are you willing to speak human again now?"

Sorry, my dog doesn't get treats for growling.

[Eric the Grey]

Me: OK I need you to enter your Post Code into the search field
SC: The search field (Please note search field is in the BRIGHT yellow panel)
Me: Yes its on the left of the screen in yellow. Enter your post code…
SC: Your left or mine?
Me: *hits mute and laughs.. deep breath* Yours
SC: Oh ok thanks *Hangs up*

Ok, that was just too funny! I'd be tempted to use this myself with tech support.

Me: OK and what state are you calling from?
SC: State? (Now I take calls from Australia and New Zealand. NZ is to small to have states! The call came from Australia but I thought the system might have goofed)
Me: Oh are you from New Zealand?
SC: No i'm from Ozstrayla (Please note that’s as close as I can get to SC pronunciation)
Me: OK and which state was that?
SC: State?
Me: Yes State? Queensland? New South Wales, Victoria? *Pauses… waits*
SC: SEVEN (Said with Triumph..)
Me: I'm Sorry?
SC: Victoria
Me: Ok the Number is 1234 5678
SC: Seven!
Me: Good Bye

WTF? Is seven a new state and I was not informed or some new form of word that means yes?

Perhaps SC lives in Maryland. It was the seventh US state...

SC: I need to speak to your property division (WTF… we don’t have that division)
Me; I’m sorry I don’t believe we have a property division... What was your enquiry and maybe one of our offices can help you…
SC: Ok ill explain this in ONE Syllable words since you obviously you cant understand.
I need someone to sell my property… *Brain resists urge to throw off filter*

Me: Well, "someone" is two, and "property" is three, but lucky for you, I managed to figure out what they were...

F****ng self-important prick needs a serious attitude adjustment.


Eric the Grey

[TealJellyfish]

Dear Lord! Man, Lexi, it's bad enough you have to handle that job entirely on your own, but you get to deal with these wastes of flesh while you're doing it?



Man, I am impressed! Hope the customers manage to gain some actual sentience soon; in the meantime, here's a *cyber hug*, , and :! Good luck there!

p.s. I'm trying to set the record for the most distinct emotes in one post, how am I doing so far?

Pretty Darn Good so far:P I have to update my work thread as well:P

Ok ill explain this in ONE Syllable words since you obviously you cant understand.
I need someone to sell my property… *Brain resists urge to throw off filter*

I believe several of those were polysyllabic, sir/madam.

I am saving that for next time!

[gunsage]

SC: GRRRRRRRR (Yes she actually growled at me!)

Possible responses follow...

Me: "What's that, Lassie? Timmy fell down the well?!"

Me: "Ma'am, I already explained this once, there's just not enough kibble to go around."

Me: "Wow, didn't realize it was a full moon tonight!"

Me: "Ma'am, I will not respond to your raw animal magnetism."

Me: "Actually, the proper mating call for humans is typically 'What are you doing Friday night' or 'How much for your services?'"

[Kati]

Ahh, 7. I'm surprised they're in Victoria. I work in an Australian wide call centre in Adelaide, and, well, most of our special customers have the area code 07. Well, they do, when the explanation of what an area code is has filtered through what's left of their brain and they have finally comprehended what I'm asking for...

To the point where, if I ask for an area code, and there's a complete silence on the end, or a mumbled muttering as they try and hide their confusion, I ask "so, 07 for Queensland?"

99 times out of 100 I'm right. The other 1 person gets really offended and hangs up.

(ok, sorry to any Qlders reading this. I'm sure you're not all that bad. In fact, the point that you can read means you're one up on my usual 07 customers.)

And besides, it's Sunday, I've been at work, the special customers come out on Sundays, so it hasn't been a good day.

[Rivulatus]

And besides, it's Sunday, I've been at work, the special customers come out on Sundays, so it hasn't been a good day.

You've noticed that too eh? Sunday's really have a different type of customer brain-dead moron, compared to the rest of the week.

[Kati]

Yeah they are pretty special...

On Sunday my call time is guaranteed to double. The questions aren't any harder, or require any more fixing, it's just the customers that are ... special.

A typical Sunday customer (taken the week before Christmas):
"You said this promotion would be available until December"
"That's right. We actually ended it on 6th December"
"But I was expecting that 'until' meant until the END of December"
"No ma'am, until means up to. It was available until December."

This conversation went in circles for over 10 minutes. She was irate that "until" didn't mean "including", and refused to accept it. I tried several ways to explain the meaning of "until" to her, but nothing worked.

And in the end? She said "well, I'm going to tell the TIO (Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman), A Current Affair (TV program) and ALL MY FRIENDS about this". <click>

Ahh. All I could think was "excellent. so everyone you know will be as amazed at your stupidity as I am. Share the joy".

I can understand why she was upset. We took a promotion that was a really great deal for phone + net, and then added excess usage charges and upped the price. We'd had the deal running for about 6 months prior to December, it's not as though she didn't have enough time before then.

I used to go to see my Dad on Sunday nights. Now, if I'm working, I don't go after work. He doesn't deserve to hear all the rants about Sunday customers.