Wherein everything is my fault.

[Kali]

staggering asshole.
Fuckbat.
asshat
fucktard.
kind of a dick
glorious butt turban.
glass licking pansy cake
Dr Pompous Assgnoll
cunt harpy

You're awesome when you're bitter.

[marasbaras]

FOR ALLAH!

(I'm still laughing)

[blas]

Oh GK, I must ask a favor of thee....may I steal your "Stop saying "But"?"

I really do need it....for use at work.

[Gravekeeper]

Oh GK, I must ask a favor of thee....may I steal your "Stop saying "But"?"

I really do need it....for use at work.

Its not a particularly unique phrase. You may wish to add "cunt harpy" to give it some umph.

[blas]

Ah yes....that'd be a new one. I think I may have to steal your entire "stop saying BUT!" spiel, though...

Either that or when I think I'm about to have a heart attack from too much exposure to human stupidity, I will just growl "BEARS!" and walk away.

[Becks]

I’d try to communicate this to you on a level you were more familiar with, but unfortunately I don't have enough construction paper and macaroni on hand.

How about glitter?

Sticky tape?

[TequilaSunrise]

Woohooo! New words!
Fuckbat (my particular favorite)
cunt harpy
Butt Turban

I amaze my friends with my vocabulary lately! Thank you, Gravekeeper!

[iradney]

Aah, there's my helping of crispy bitterness.

GK, I know you suffer for your art. Which is why your book will be a surefire bestseller!

[Polenicus]

have you considered writing a book & having it published?

No, I know what we need to do.

Someone needs to collect up all the Gravekeeperisms over the years. All of his posts, and keep them somewhere safe. Archive them until we've got about a book and a half's worth.

Then we all chip in to get the book published. set up a donation on the site, with the money going to some charity benefitting downtrodden call center workers or something. Have GK weed out theposts from the book pile he doesn't like, run the whole thing through an editor, and publish it under 'Customers Suck Presents: The Collected Gravekeeper'.

Seriously, it would be AWESOME.

And then, being published, Gravekeeper can create his own religion based on cats, and get some Hollywood types to join, so that after he dies his frozen sperm can be used to breed the church's next leader.

[Rapscallion]

after he dies his frozen sperm can be used to breed the church's next leader.

"Available in the frozen sections of all major supermarkets..."

Damn - I have strange mental imagery when I've had poor sleep from sinuses.

Rapscallion

[Horsetuna]

Classic as always

[Blade_Raver]

I'm going to go with secret option (E): he married a genius with an eidetic memory. This poor woman led a very sheltered life previously, but on the bright side she now knows not to trust the profiles on dating websites.

Eidetic Memory Level 5? (Kudos to whomever can catch the reference.)

[Kiwi]

B) Married to a pencil.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

classic!

[Silvercat]

I say this every time I read your posts (well, as soon as I can breathe again after laughing):

You, sir, are my hero.

Bears.

[Andara Bledin]

Oh GK, I must ask a favor of thee....may I steal your "Stop saying "But"?"

I really do need it....for use at work.

I volunteer to help run a computer gaming room at a convention that runs thrice yearly. We have learned that anything that beings with the interjection "but" is an excuse to not have to follow the rules, and generally speaking, before they can even finish, we answer with, "but nothing, these are the rules."

Damn - I have strange mental imagery when I've had poor sleep from sinuses.

Sure.... blame it on the sleep dep.

^-.-^