Adult Movies & The Elderly

[Phone Jockey]

I know she's elderly because she verified her date of birth (1935).

Customer: (elderly lady) I was trying to order my adult channel and now my TV screen is black.
Me: Is your TV on?
Customer: Well, no. Someone told me NOT to turn it on.
Me: Yeah, that wasn't me.
Customer: OK, I'm trying to buy this racy movie (!) but I can't.
Me: OK...let's reboot your box.
(5 minutes of rebooting)
Me: OK, can you buy it now?
Customer: Well, no.
Me: Are you hitting the "B" button on your remote control?
Customer: No. There is no "B" button or whatever you're calling it these days.
Me: Mam, are you using OUR remote? It has our company logo on the bottom.
Customer: Well, uh...no. This is the TV remote.
Me: Mam, you have to use OUR remote.
Customer: Oh! Oh well, I feel so silly!
Me: Indeed you do, mam.
Customer: Well, I just wasted your time. I'm so embarrassed!
Me: (not as embarrassed as I am about you watching "racy" movies!)

[Spiffy McMoron]

Ew ew ew ew ewewewewew!

If I don't think about it, it never happened!

Hell. It happened.

[LostMyMind]

Well, go grandma go.

[Broomjockey]

Hey, old people need love too. And they sure ain't gettin' it from me.

EEWWWWEWEWEWEWEW!!!!!1!!1!!1!

[Kiwi]

*hands out personal bottles of brain bleach*

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water

CRAP! IT'S NOT WORKING!

Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water
Think about Holy Water

Mongo

[pbmods]

Meh. Some old lady wants to watch a porno. Good for her.

The people you REALLY need to fear are the ones lurking around the back room at the video rental place where I used to live.

By that, I mean the neighborhood of Chicago where I used to live. I didn't live in the video rental place :P

Why were the people so interesting? Here's your one clue: Wrigleyville.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Got some bad news for you all:

Old folks are as into sex as you are. Probably know a few more tricks than you do.

They weren't always old, and they've likely had more practice.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Got some bad news for you all:

Old folks are as into sex as you are. Probably know a few more tricks than you do.

They weren't always old, and they've likely had more practice.

Oh we know that

It's just hard to pass up the chance make fun of it.

My aunt used to say that you know you're getting old when the creaking noise is no longer coming from the bed frame during sex.

Mongo

[blas]

That is just absolutely disgusting and wrong in so many ways


Someone bring out a CART full of brain bleach, and give me 2 or three jugs of it!

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck

[Knightmare]

Think of this:

Your parents are probably getting busy right now as you read this.
I say GO FOR IT!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, at some point, though, oral sex usually turns into talking about your memories. :-D

[Barefootgirl]

I think its quite cool. Why is the idea of old people trying to buy porn so much more disgusting than the idea of young people buying it? You don't get to the age of 60 and suddenly start wearing beige and reading the Daily Mail, forgetting you were ever young...

I hope this old lady got her racy movie and I hope she darn well enjoyed it !!

[Dreamstalker]

I have a related moment. Scene: my grandmother's house. Mom was getting dinner ready and had chased me out when I tried to help, so I was in the living room reading.

My grandmother has one of those footbath thingies that she got god-knows-where. She thinks it helps her arthritis...anyway...

Suddenly, we both hear from the breezeway, over the sound of the footbath motor: "Oh MY! This vibrator is quite lovely!"

Funny as hell, but an image I did not need...

[Think Blue]

I wonder which one it was? oh crap I just got the worst visual