Wherein I pull the red pen (long, bad language and self sighting)

[Ellain]

Yay! Its always so cool to find out people you like have more in common than you thought! Like people who won't look at me funny when I gush over the locking leather cuffs my boyfriend and his wife bought to use on me...

And I find myself wondering... are any of you on the same "networking" site I am?

[Rapscallion]

Just a quick note, folks. The OP didn't require a NSFW tag too much, but we've noted a trend towards trying to outkink others on the part of one or two. We've added the tag, and things are generally around the level we don't it to sink below.

Rapscallion

[Mytical]

A lot of people don't have a clue really. There are so many levels of things that it can be .. interesting. Pets, subs, switch..it can be a lot for people to understand. There is also a level of trust that can be scary for some. Another misconception is it is all about sex. Some of the Dom/sub relationships do not involve it in any way, shape, or form.

For the most part, any true sub would never talk to a Domme/Dom like that, however. The moment they do, most Domme/Dom's would no longer be interested. Respect is a key element in the lifestyle. Though each Domme/Dom is different of course, after all they are human. Some if you talk to the sub/pet in their presence without permission get offended. Some..are a bit more lenient.

I won't even suggest I know everything, because no two relationships are alike. While I mostly prefer Dom in a relationship of that type, you never know what you might agree to..especially if it is fun enough.

[Sliceanddice]

i find alternative lifestyle sites to be a pain personally,
but im sure it doesn't hurt that im kind of weird...

I dont get into most kink (I do not understand the appeal knee high boots, latex, whips ect. exception being paddles and harnesses i find those..... well sexy) but i can get in to Master games in the right situation.

Usually i like to control but sometimes like with my current flirt i love to just let someone else take over. But my big thing is i don't look for a Partner at all. I mean yeah a girlfriend would be nice but i rather be part of group. Maybe its some latent 'I want a family' BS but i completely understand polygamy in its none creepy FLDS forms. I rather be one of many than one on one most times.

My current flirt has a ... well we call it harem. a group of girls for whom provide her with different satisfactions to different needs and whom in return get different things from her.
I get someone i can talk random bs with and have a sexual bond with, another woman gets a sense of physical affection in a very none sexual way and yet another can be the overly perky rain drops and roses flirt all time form another.

When this started she thought i would be jealose. I laughed and said 'I get what i need, you get what you need, they get what they need, and no one is hurt or lonely. Who cares how its done'

Hence why even if gay marriage was 100% legal i would never get married.
Who needs the pressure of being a one and only half the time.

[fma_fanatic]

And of course those "experts" say that unless it is your entire life, then you're not serious enough about it.

The only "collar" I would consider wearing is my engagement/wedding rings. That shows my commitment to someone and that's all I need. Add to that I'm a lil too bratty to be a full time sub, but don't want to be a full time Domme. So I do the best of both worlds

And the only way people can tell is if they've known me awhile, see me in a shop buying naughty things, meet me at a play party, or look in my closet (which I really don't recommend - its a mess in there).

There's always being a Switch. I tend to alternate between the two, though most of the time I tend to favor the Sub side.

Never thought you'd hear that from me, didja?

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Johns have absolutely NO place calling someone a whore.

[Sliceanddice]

Johns have absolutely NO place calling someone a whore.

you know when taken complete out of context (or in context even) that is a a freaking hilarous line

[Soulstealer]

Okay, some do live it 24/7 but as a single, unattached sub I obviously don't...with the right Dom or Master I probably would, but would still ask if I could tone it down when in public.

Or as someone who would get fired/not hired in his/her chosen career field. 24/7 just doesn't work. I have a friend in the scene who's training to be a teacher, one of the nicest people I know, and neither one of us could tell our future employers about this.

[shankyknitter]

And adding my tally to the list of people training to be high school teachers. Hence the lack of pictures of me.

[KellyHabersham]

Or as someone who would get fired/not hired in his/her chosen career field. 24/7 just doesn't work. I have a friend in the scene who's training to be a teacher, one of the nicest people I know, and neither one of us could tell our future employers about this.

Count me in as another for whom 24/7 does not work..............let's just say that I've limited my involvement in being a sub to role-play/online stuff only, as I got tired of being asked to do things which would interfere with work or family stuff.

[Mytical]

See this is an aspect I never got. My view on a Dom must be a lot different then most. A sub puts a LOT of trust in a Dom. IMO a Dom has to consider the sub's well being before their own. Sure, the sub is there to serve the Dom, in a way that both agreed to. However, the Dom/Domme should always consider the subs well being, needs, and safety above all else, even their own desires. But that is just me.

[shankyknitter]

See this is an aspect I never got. My view on a Dom must be a lot different then most. A sub puts a LOT of trust in a Dom. IMO a Dom has to consider the sub's well being before their own. Sure, the sub is there to serve the Dom, in a way that both agreed to. However, the Dom/Domme should always consider the subs well being, needs, and safety above all else, even their own desires. But that is just me.

QFT

A lot of people assume that the Domme/Dom is the one with all the power in the relationship. Think of it this way though, a sub who is stressed, ill, tired isn't going to serve as well as one who is happy, healthy and well rested. And if the sub suddenly decides one day that they're not going to listen anymore end of story, then there's nothing the Domme/Dom can do. If a Domme/Dom decides they want a vanilla relationship with their sub, the sub can still choose to take any requests (darling can you rub my shoulders please my back hurts) as an order (rub my shoulders now slave). If a sub decides they want out then its done.

A happy sub is a happy Domme/Dom is a happy relationship.

[Mytical]

Since everybody is different, people do have different needs, desires, and such. There are some who like pain (either giving or receiving), abuse, and some even like humiliation. Which is why before any Dom/sub relationship is started I suggest an interview. Find out what makes the sub happiest, find out what punishments would be the most effective (if it comes to that), and such. As long as both answer openly and honestly then there is a good idea where the boundaries are. Then again I suggest something similar for all relationships.

I know it is difficult, but a serious discussions of your likes, fantasies, and dislikes goes a long way in a relationship. If there are fantasies you both share, great, but even if not..there is the bargaining option. "If you do this fantasy for me, I'll do that one for you." If there are some you won't even consider regardless of what you might get in return, make sure that your partner knows it

Whatever your relationship is, as long as you make the special other(s) in your life happy, and you are happy..that is all that matters. What other think is not important. I won't get into the fratch that would come with non-consensual or those who can't give consent, but I am assuming those who post here are above such things

[Sapphire Silk]

Johns have absolutely NO place calling someone a whore.

Funny how people who use a service think they have some of right to denigrate the provider of that service. The penultimate of a Sucky Customer.


John: Whore!

Prostitutue: Desperate.

[Aethian]

I was going to stay out of this but I just had to tell you about a couple I know. He is the Dom and she in the Sub. Close to four months ago they had their first child. I was almost worried at one time how the D/S relationship would affect their new child but after a recent converstation...yea it's almost as if they have changed places.

He major job? Taking care of their child, cleaning, and if she still has energy...cooking. Him? Everything else. Now I know that doesn't sound so different from several other familes but picture this. Before she was to do everything, 8-12 hour days at work, cooking, cleaning, still performing wifely duties, as well as a few...other things.

I don't know whats going to happen when the child gets older but I do have a feeling that their D/S relationship has turned with him starting to become the Sub.