my name is Spork4pedro and I'm a cleaning freak..

[Spork4pedro]

since I accidentally deleted this once..let's try again!


some background: I am a compulsive straightener. I always face/straighten shelves when I'm in stores. This is especially bad in Blockbuster (used to work there) and Target (closest grocery store). This combined with my hatred of people being lazy and leaving crap/trash in aisles usually has me cleaning as I go. Also I like to shop in the last hour before Target closes so usually the aisles have been cleaned already and I just feel back for making more work .

So last night I was doing my thing in Target with my 1 y/o son (sleeping in his carseat..nice!) I happen to be following this other mother and her child (maybe 2ish?). Not on purpose but we just happen to be going to similar things and she was first..it happens. This woman was disgusting! She was eating some sort of fast food and starbucks and leaving her trash on the floor, in the aisles, anywhere but the trashcan. Her son was also tossing Cheerios and whatever on the floor but hey he's super young I can understand. So as I'm going along I'm straightening my holes (and hers if they're nearby) and getting annoyed by the trash. So I pick it up and throw it away at the end of the aisle and move along. We do this dance for a couple of rows and then she flips!

L: What the HELL are you doing?!?!?
Me: um...grabbing some cookies? (mmm...Milanos)
L: No! Why are you picking up MY trash?!?! Do you work here or something?!
Me: oh..no. I don't. I just usually throw trash away when I see it. Was it yours? I didn't even notice whose it was.
L: Why would you do that?!? It's THEIR (points to a passing employee) job to take care of it. Not some FREAK () like you!!! *procedes onto EW rant I always tune out*

Now she is standing right in front of me. Her yelling and flailing are not only attracting stares but wakes up my son who starts to cry. His crying then causes her son to scream. Ugh. Great...Momma Bear is NOT happy!

ME: *interrupts* MA'AM! you are causing a scene and you woke up my son. WE ARE DONE HERE. Think what you want I don't give a fuck! (sorry kids) but I will continue to help out these guys because I would hope that someone would do the same for me and if that makes me a freak then awesome! Who wants to be a normal ass like you?

I walk away and continue my shopping..I have no idea what she did. I didn't see her until checkout and she walked by to leave while I was at the checkout. As she passed she glared at me and two steps later her son looks at me smiles and then says "ASSTH!! ASSTH! ASSTH" while clapping out the door. Oops .... I guess it's better than fuck?

I just know that Karma will get me back for that...I didn't do I on purpose!! *gives puppy eyes to Karma gods*

[Aethian]

Dude...can you come to my place...my cleaning skills are...well....they are... "special."

[Mouse]

I think karma already hit, and in the rightful place too ^__^
what better karma slap than your own kid reminding you what a jerk you were XD

[PatchO'Black]

In my opinion, any lapse in manners on your part were far out-weighted by the insane level of self-importance and idiocy shown by that woman. You were doing both her and others a favor by throwing away trash that she herself should have thrown away, and further she should not have been making such a mess to begin with.

[chainedbarista]

yes, i could use you over here as well.

i agree; people who dump their trash wherever with the excuse that it's 'someone's job to get that' need to be buried up to their necks in a landfill for all eternity. the kid was simply following his 'mom's' example.

kudos for the pwnage and here's to 'assth' being baby's new word for the next year.

[bainsidhe]

A bit off-topic, but my niece couldn't say "frog" properly when she was about 2. We go to the park where they have a little frog-bouncey-thing. She excitedly runs over to the frog, yelling the f-bomb over and over. F-bomb is how she pronounced frog.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

F is how I said "truck" as a very wee Irvling. Or so I am told.

[LingualMonkey]

If karma's gonna get you for that, go buy a lottery ticket, because that ruled.

[iradney]

Well, Spork4Pedro, I'm terribly sorry, but you will need to be punished with your favourite beverage and movie. I know it's harsh, and others might protest, but thems the rules!

[Food Lady]

I know why she reacted in such anger: guilt. She KNEW what she was doing was wrong. And your considerate behavior totally showed it up. I only wish you'd answered her with this: "I'm picking up your trash because you are too immature to clean up after yourself. If you feel guilty, maybe you should take a good, hard look at yourself." The look on her face when confronted with the truth would've been priceless. And the look on the employees' faces. Oh, and can you shop at my store?

[RayvenQ]

F is how I said "truck" as a very wee Irvling. Or so I am told.

Maybe you somehow knew what you were in for later on in life

[PepperElf]

im pretty messy at home but yeah
i hate it when people just toss their trash everywhere, with the excuse that it's "their job to clean it up!"


what a bitch

[Kanalah]

My 4 year old daughter has a problem saying the "th" sound. So when we taught her to say thank you, it sounds like F- you. Yeah that was really fun to explain to the preschool teacher. Hopefully she's almost grown out of it.

Also I have CDO - it's like OCD with the letters in the right place. If I shop by myself I straighten up and pick up trash too. You are not alone!

[MoonCat]

Food Lady is right, the cow was guilted into going off at you. You picking up her trash made her look bad--well, worse, because she already looked bad--and rightly so. Ha! Stupid slob.

You rock.

[Cazzi]

I'm not the tidiest of people at home, but in public, I do look for litter bins or take my rubbish home with me.

Also, I have been know to call after people who have let their litter drop to the floor, with a loud "excuse me, you dropped something!"