Stupid local Xmas TV commercials

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Well, I think the liquor store is a good place to shop.

I would think so too.

Better yet, turn me loose in a wine shop . . . but the closest I get is my backroom at work on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I get wine deliveries. . .

[Antisocial_Worker]

There is a local chain of carpet and flooring stores in my area that loves nothing more than to wade into issues of church and state, and whether the two should finally take the plunge and go steady. With that in mind, their Christmas offering this year involves a bunch of the owners' kids opening presents and expressing their glee as such:

Kid 1: "I want that one. Open it up." (dead monotone)
Kid 2: "I want to see. I want to see." (dead monotone)

And so on until they get to one that contains the infant Jesus, whereupon all of them -- including the teenagers who realize, from their high school drama classes, that the situation calls for a modicum of emotion -- announce that Jesus is the reason for the season and Merry Christmas from (carpet store).

You kind of have to know the store, and be familiar with all the ads they put up during this last election season to really understand it, but the kids droning their excitement is universal. Generally speaking, children can't act and nobody but you thinks your kid is cute. Owning a successful business does not change these facts and you, as a business owner, have a responsibility to use your powers for good -- and therefore not put your children on television.

It's almost as bad as the car dealership from the next town down who runs commercials with not only his kids but his dog, too. My favorite is the one where he's extolling the virtues of a truck while his sons ride unicycles in circles in the background.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I must now report that the "Good Things Come In Local Packages" campaign has now been expanded to include roadside billboards.

I drive past one on the way to and from work each day. It features a couple people from a local mom-and-pop pet shop jumping out of a big, wrapped gift box.

Which to me conjures up images of scantily clad ladies jumping out of ginormous birthday cakes. Couldn't the local Chamber of Commerce have thought up a theme that wouldn't be made fun of 50 different ways by sick fucks such as myself?

[sms001]

Couldn't the local Chamber of Commerce have thought up a theme that wouldn't be made fun of 50 different ways by sick fucks such as myself?

They did, and discarded them. Perhaps just for you!