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Stupid local Xmas TV commercials

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  • Stupid local Xmas TV commercials

    This year, the local Chamber of Commerce runs TV commercials on the local cable channels to remind people to do as much of their Christmas shopping in town as possible.

    These commercials are always highlights of cheap production values and stiff acting.

    I just saw my most "favorite" one: Somebody from the Chamber exclaiming "I didn't know you could buy all these electronics in Irv's hometown!" as pictures of big-screen TVs, laptop computers, and so forth emerge from the center of the screen.

    1). This person really needs to get out more

    2). Way to make us look like a bunch of hicks. Of course, we are a bunch of hicks around here, but....next thing you'll tell me is you can't believe we have indoor plumbing in Irv's hometown.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    When I went to see Skyfall on Monday, there were quite a few "local" ads, though not for Christmas. All most local ads make me want to do is never go to a place.

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    • #3
      Oh gosh. Local commercials are the worst. The ones here always seem to feature two things: First, really bad acting/script reading. Second, the kids/grandkids of the business owners. In and of itself, that second one's not a bad thing. However, said kids always deliver the company's tagline in as loud and nasally/whiny a way as possible. If I find one particular example that's running through my head right now, I'll post the link. EDIT: Found one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXs_7CdYHg0

      Weirdly enough, the only local commercial I actually like *is* a Christmas commercial for Enstrom Candies.
      Last edited by firecat88; 11-28-2012, 04:18 PM.
      "Things that fail to kill me make me level up." ~ NateWantsToBattle, Training Hard (Counting Stars parody)

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      • #4
        I rarely go to cinemas in the first place (Atlas Shrugged and Skyfall were the only ones we went to see this year). The only local places we've visited were the restaurants that promised deals for showing a ticket stub.
        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

        Who is John Galt?
        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          2). Way to make us look like a bunch of hicks. Of course, we are a bunch of hicks around here, but....next thing you'll tell me is you can't believe we have indoor plumbing in Irv's hometown.
          Please don't - that would prompt the local hardware store to do a bad commercial (I'm thinking of the Happy Days episode where Mr. C did a TV commercial for his store) where the local hardware store tries to sell you fixtures for your indoor plumbing.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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          • #6
            ...next thing you'll tell me is you can't believe we have indoor plumbing in Irv's hometown.
            There's indoor pluming in Cheesehead Land?

            Color me shocked.
            "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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            • #7
              Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
              There's indoor pluming in Cheesehead Land?
              I'm not exactly sure why you'd want feathers in your house...but I guess the long winters up there have people doing strange things. Cabin fever is a bitch

              Seriously though, some local businesses put together some horrible ads. They either don't want to spend the money, or don't care that the ads suck. For example, the one for a certain window and door company on Route 51. The ad featured the owner and his wife...doing the ad in a monotone that would have made Ben Stein proud. Rounding things out, was a soundtrack that wouldn't have been out of place in 1970s porno
              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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              • #8
                Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
                There's indoor pluming in Cheesehead Land?

                Color me shocked.
                I've been to Irv's hometown. It's....interesting.

                But yeah, local commercials are the worst. There's one featuring the owner's kids, who can't act, nor sing.
                "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                • #9
                  Quoth Victory Sabre View Post
                  There's indoor pluming in Cheesehead Land?
                  Color me shocked.
                  Get this VS - electricity up here is so new-fangled that EVERY SINGLE UTILITY POLE has a permanent warning sign on it. Presumably until a couple of generations have passed and we're not tempted to put a deer stand in them.

                  As far as locally made commercials are concerned, I think one aspect of it is that maybe less sophisticated sellers and producers think that corny is actually memorable. That may be true when it's just one "Crazy Al's Used Cars" in an area doing them, not so much when they're all like that.

                  And my own hokey story. A local grocery store changed hands. Younger brother bought it off older brother. For the grand reopening, they had a full page spread featuring Younger and two adorable kids. Problem was, I recognized the children as being the older brother's. Yes, to get that "down home family time" vibe in his ad, new owner had borrowed children.

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                  • #10
                    Just saw the commercial again.

                    Apparently, in addition to must-have electronics like cell phones and TVs, you can buy--wait for it--toys in my hometown!

                    Will wonders never cease?

                    Also, in Irv's hometown one can purchase--you may want to be sitting down for this--JEWELRY!

                    I'll stop now so everybody can pick their jaws up off the floor.

                    The ad, like all others from the local Chamber of Commerce, closes by reminding us that "good things come in local packages."

                    Which has me thinking about prostitutes for some reason.
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                      ... reminding us that "good things come in local packages."

                      Which has me thinking about prostitutes for some reason.
                      Would those be at the likker store?
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                      • #12
                        I've been seeing and hearing (on the radio) ads urging people to shop locally. Ok, so in the town where I work, you can do your Christmas shopping at the hardware store, the liquor store, the grocery store, the convenience store, or the headshop. Yeah, that would work.
                        "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
                        -Mira Furlan

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Ghel View Post
                          I've been seeing and hearing (on the radio) ads urging people to shop locally. Ok, so in the town where I work, you can do your Christmas shopping at the hardware store, the liquor store, the grocery store, the convenience store, or the headshop. Yeah, that would work.
                          Well, I think the liquor store is a good place to shop.
                          "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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                          • #14
                            Yes. most of the local commercials are pathetic here, too.
                            Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Ghel View Post
                              I've been seeing and hearing (on the radio) ads urging people to shop locally. Ok, so in the town where I work, you can do your Christmas shopping at the hardware store, the liquor store, the grocery store, the convenience store, or the headshop. Yeah, that would work.
                              In my city that means you do your Christmas shopping at the clearance swamp, Walmart, half a Kohls, a couple big box hardware/farm/home stores, some grocery stores, some liquor stores, and all the "cute," overpriced shops downtown that are geared more toward the FIBs who drive through town on their way to their vacation homes up north.

                              Maybe some of the local bars sell gift certificates or something too.
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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