Ugh. Work or clean my house.

[Pimento]

Money isn't my problem. Between my full time job and my hobby job I clear about 150k a year. That my wife blows on stupid shit. Family loans .etc.

Plus we bought a huge work in progress house with the understanding that shed get a full time job to help with the bills.

So. She's ALWAYS sicker than I am (this weekend I was working Friday-Sunday day shift. I'm on light duty due to my back and took today off so I could rest it a bit more) well last night she "ate something" and is now whining and crying over it. So even though I'm very close to doing irreversible damage to my back. I'm doing all the work around the house today while she lays in bed.

I work my ass off. I make great money. I haven't even been able to buy a pair of drumsticks lately. I have some body work to do on my car to make the stuff I started last year all spiffy and sexy looking and about $10,000 in bonuses coming next week. But I'm not allowed to do that cause her sister and sisters friend need a prom dress. So this is now my burden to pay for it cause her fat bitch of a mom spent the sisters money.

Anyways. I'm spending about $2,000 on my drums next week and the wife can fuck off lol.

[Tama]

You need to cut off the gravy train.

[Rock Lobster]

Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Got the hell out. Best decision of my life. I would not give up being single for the world!

[MoonCat]

My sympathies. Even without the back pain and stuff, sounds like a shitty situation.

And, wtf? Her sister's friend needs a prom dress?? Yeahh....no. Tell them both to hit the thrift stores.

[Pimento]

Yeah. I took away her bank access and stuff. She "didn't realize" it was that big of an issue. Tho she "borrowed" about $900 from my safe a while ago that I just found out about. And no idea what for now.

So I'm not really happy. And she followed up with "well I need X. I guess my government money goes to me now!" So basically I took over the finances and grocery shopping. Miraculously she started handing out resumes today lol

[AnaKhouri]

My two cents...

I do not have a 'real job'. I am a stay-at-home mom and cover shifts 3-4 days a month at a bookstore. But between keeping house and child-raising, I have more than enough to keep me busy.

My husband works 60-90 hours a week.

You know how much housework he does?

He mows the lawn once every 10 days or so, in spring and summer.

I do everything else. Gardening. Shopping. Budgeting. Cooking. Cleaning. Shoveling snow. While handling a rowdy 3-year-old. I might ask him to empty the dishwasher or take out the trash once every couple weeks. I don't feel it's right to nag him about working at home after he works 14 hours a day, 6 days a week in the lab. I don't get to be injured. I don't get to be sick. I don't get days off. And neither does he.

So yeah, sympathy for your wife and her mooching family, I have none. You need to have a 'come to Jesus' talk with her, and let her know her family needs to stand on its own legs now. And she needs to get a job or start taking care of the place, one or the other (or both, which many people do).

[Victory Sabre]

You know what, I think it's time to talk to a divorce lawyer. Get the heck away from her and let her self destruct on her own.

[Barracuda]

Agreed. You don't have a wife; you have a financial parasite. Start looking at your options now, because you cannot continue to live like this.

[Pimento]

Well I laid it out to her. Cut the constant bitchiness, don't get mad when I go out just cause you have no friends. And if you don't make money don't spend it. Pretty much summed it up

[Pixilated]

Yeah. I took away her bank access and stuff. She "didn't realize" it was that big of an issue. Tho she "borrowed" about $900 from my safe a while ago that I just found out about. And no idea what for now.

So I'm not really happy. And she followed up with "well I need X. I guess my government money goes to me now!" So basically I took over the finances and grocery shopping. Miraculously she started handing out resumes today lol

Unfortunately, sometimes the only way to get through is to get tough.

As for the rest of it, as the original Dear Abby used to say ... are you better of with her, or without her? Because your marriage sounds perilously close to being broken to the point of being unfixable.

I have some sympathy for family members who genuinely need a boost (as I am currently one of them ...) But ... prom dresses? Nope. Go to a thrift store; you can find awesome stuff there. Family loans? Have they paid back previous loans, either in cash or in kind (like, maybe, helping you with the fixit stuff??) If not, no more loans until something comes back from the previous ones. If she gets shirty about it, she can get a job and shovel her money into the bottomless pit. And no, you will not make up the difference when suddenly she runs short of cash.

Oh, and get another safe ... and don't give her the combination.