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  #101  
Old 12-27-2006, 04:42 AM
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anode_probe anode_probe is offline
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Location: Peterborough
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The "computers never break" lady insists that the company makes a supirior product, and as such should be able to provide free service for life.

The "This is my first computer" guy wants you to walk them through everything (yes everything) to do with "whatever it is you tech guys do"

the "just make it work" chick doesn't want to find out an underlying issue, just wants "the damned thing to work." See post in "Unsupportable" entitled "Call from Hell" for an extreme example.

The Cranial-Rectal Inversion Man The guy who I started on a secure erase which will take at least a week (he deserved it, go 8 way random rewrite!)

Giggle girl (this one applies to women and gay men exclusively) Flirts constantly with you, plays the dumb card (that they think is a helpless card), and generally keeps you on the phone because "you have a nice voice," *shudders*

Jake Gyllenthall Nope I didn't talk to him, but my friend who sat beside me when on front line did, I could be heard in the backgound, letting it be known that Mrs Gyllenthall has some competition.

Artistic genius I hate these people. They have an over entitlement complex. They also get rather upset when their knowledge of classical music/modern art is matched and/or surpassed by my own.
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a few additions
  #102  
Old 01-07-2007, 05:39 PM
Scottya21 Scottya21 is offline
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Posts: 70
Default a few additions

My couple additions:

Messenger Assassin : a supercategory of many other SC's, these people think the low level peon/cashier/etc is personally responsible for setting policies/prices/etc. To quote from a dilbert cartoon: "I don't make the rules, I just apply them with a hopeless and defeated manner". See next

Mr. Incredulous : assumes that we have some product or service, and cannot believe it when this is not the case. Ex.: "WHAT!? No milk for the coffee?" "WHAT!?? No windshield washing implements!?(at the pumps at a gas station)" "WHAT!?? You don't exchange American for Canadian Dollars!?!?!?", "WHAT!?? No cash back on debit purchases!??",etc.

Another in the selective language use category:

<no idea for a label> : Despite giving evidence that they speak some language other than cashier's native, don't comprehend when cashier responds in kind in an attempt to communicate.
ex: (background: at my gas station, you have to pay before hand with cash for gas, or use a card outside)
<confused french canadian people attempt to pump gas, fail, come inside store>
SC: For the Gas!
Me(primarily english speaking american): payez avant si vous plait.
SC: ??

Granted, sometimes my other languages are highly fragmented and non-natural, but they should get a vague idea at least...bah.

Finally,
Mr. Offended by Customer Service: Is offended by typical customer service techniques such as repeating to make sure things were understood, asking clarifying questions, etc. Applies particularly to people with ridiculous accents. Ex:
SC: thu-tee do-llahs ahn pahmp soo-ee. *hands $40 cash*
Me: So that's *overenunciates* thirty on pump 3?
SC: OF COURSE IT IS YOU SILLY AMERICAN PIG DOG !!!*stereotypical french person snort-laugh here*
I may have exaggerated that last part.
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  #103  
Old 01-08-2007, 04:58 AM
decisivemoment decisivemoment is offline
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Quote:
Quoth April View Post
The second opinioner(my made up word)-The person who doesn't like your answer and walks around the store asking every other employee who either says the same thing, or referrs them to you

The wander and dropper-The person who wanders around a store, picks up something and carries it for awhile, decides they don't want it and leaves it wherever. Bonus points if it's perishable

The TMI-The person who insists on telling you exactly why they are buying preparation H and how they got the problem to begin with.

The WAAAAY TMI-er-The person who tells you why they are buying 16 bottles of KY jelly and 3 packages of rubber gloves and then describes in detail how they are going to use them

The desperate for a date-The greasy guy who comes into stores and attempts to use them as thier personal dating service, using the cashiers as thier captive audience. So desperate that they will hit on pregnant women, teenage girls etc
I have an example of the last one..
Me= "Sales Associate" at a camera and photofinishing store.

Our two POS's (I call them registers, primarily to avoid the ever corny joke about what POS actually means) are right next to each other. A guy, maybe around 30 years old, walks up to pay for his pictures and finds himself standing next to another customer - a women who he finds fairly attractive. They exchange small talk as they are both rung up, but I casually observe their interaction - they looks at me then rolls her eyes and smiles a little bit.

Immediately after she leaves, he asks if we still have her receipt. I reply "Yes" then give him a non-verbal, "Why would you want that?" His question is more blunt: Could I get her phone number?

I laugh, tell him, sorry, no.
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  #104  
Old 01-08-2007, 09:18 PM
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ElementalAngel ElementalAngel is offline
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Location: Caledon Ontario
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dont know if this has been done before...

The Penny Pincher- Customer that will hand you every coupon that they can possibly get their hands on and then try and give them to you even when they dont have the specific item on the bill.. (yes they expect you to take the money off). "Oh it says you can buy Jiff and I bought Jiff so I should get the money back" ummm no wrong size bottle.. read the fine print.. if you can.

The Grabber- self explanitory if you are a cashier.. the change will dissappear from your hand so fast you would swear smoke is curling from your fingers.

The Sneezer- yes this actually happened to me... this person doesnt know what kleenex is or how to cover their mouths when they sneeze and you usually end up wearing it
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  #105  
Old 01-09-2007, 12:58 PM
Scottya21 Scottya21 is offline
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I forgot one

The Store-Layout-Challenged (okay, a better label would be good):

Stands on the otherside of the counter, 10 feet away from the POS/register equipment, and expects to complete their transaction from there. Bonus points if you're busy, more bonus points if they expect to be waited on before other customers.
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  #106  
Old 01-09-2007, 02:33 PM
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MMATM MMATM is offline
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The Liar: Insist that [item] "came that way" or that the damage to it "just happened." Will resort to shouting "are you calling me a liar?!" whenver you point out the inconsistencies in their story. Can turn into the Sueper Trooper, especially if you respond with "yes."

The Sueper Trooper: Will go to court at the drop of a hat... almost literally. Even when following every law and company policy, they will threaten to sue if they are not getting what they want. Sometimes becomes - but more often is the next stage of - the Lawmaker.

The Lawmaker: Very simple. They insist that you have to do whatever they want because, after all, "it's the law!" May be evolved from or may evolve into the Sueper Trooper.

The Customer Who's Always Wrong: Makes demands or argues with you about something, then recites (all together now) "the customer is always right." This is expected to tear a hole in the fabric of the universe and cause whatever was previously impossible or non-negotiable to suddenly become the only imaginable course of action.

Etiquette Nazi: Proclaims that they "don't like your attitude" whenever you express any emotion other than pure delight at the privelige of their presence. Will complain to whomever they can (passing employees, other shoppers, cashiers, people on the street, PFB or M3C, etc.) in an effort to make your life miserable. Similar to the Terrorist.

The Terrorist: Calls corporate or one of your superiors with a complaint about you personally. This occurs either when you are unable to resolve one of their issues or when you refuse to accomodate one of their demands (and they are always demands). They often leave unsatisfied and then come back after they have made their report and expect that because they "got you in trouble" that you will now be more willing to cooperate with them (read: give them whatever they want). Often can be defeated by simply refusing again, especially if your superiors backed you up on the first occasion. Other times, the suits can't quite get their heads out of their a**es so tell you to bow to the customer's wishes.

Duck, Duck, Goose: Walks around the store looking for the employee that appears easiest to intimidate (the "goose"). Once selected, will attempt to negotiate solely with this employee in the hopes that they will get a discount or freebie.

The Loyal Customer: Demands freebies or discounts, claiming that they are a "loyal customer" or that they "spend a whole lot of money in your store" though you have rarely, if ever, seen them before.
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  #107  
Old 01-10-2007, 03:47 AM
Scottya21 Scottya21 is offline
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Quote:
Quoth MMATM View Post

The Terrorist: Calls corporate or one of your superiors with a complaint about you personally. This occurs either when you are unable to resolve one of their issues or when you refuse to accomodate one of their demands (and they are always demands). They often leave unsatisfied and then come back after they have made their report and expect that because they "got you in trouble" that you will now be more willing to cooperate with them (read: give them whatever they want). Often can be defeated by simply refusing again, especially if your superiors backed you up on the first occasion. Other times, the suits can't quite get their heads out of their a**es so tell you to bow to the customer's wishes.
The most annoying part is when, in fact, your management decides to bow to their wishes, and then the customer has the impression that they caught YOU in a lie/misdeed/whatever. If low-level peon cashiers had the authority to make changes in policies or different decisions, we wouldn't need managers! Morons.

Unless of course the cashier was, in fact, lying or whatever. But we're not that kind of people around here ;-)
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  #108  
Old 01-10-2007, 10:31 AM
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kurisu7885 kurisu7885 is offline
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Quote:
Quoth MMATM View Post
The Loyal Customer: Demands freebies or discounts, claiming that they are a "loyal customer" or that they "spend a whole lot of money in your store" though you have rarely, if ever, seen them before.
Loyalty, peh. IF they were "loyal" they wouldn't be demanding freebies and be making sure the store makes money.
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  #109  
Old 01-15-2007, 09:36 PM
GayleShy GayleShy is offline
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The former employee: This SC favorite line is "I used to work here so I know that you're supposed to do_____ this way." They have more often than not been fired from the store and will sometimes not even supposed to be in the store, because they have been banned. The banned FE will always look for a new cashier and hope that no one else notices them. The one that hasn't been banned will demand to talk to a supervisor if they don't get their own way, then act as if they were old friends, even if said super could not stand the former employee. They will use the old friends angle until it doesn't suit them anymore, then they will go to the I'm a customer now, and "I used to work her so I know that you're supposed to do_____ this way." It's a horrible circle.

The employee spouce: This SC is married to someone who works at the store, so of course they know everything about your job, even if you're a cashier, and the spouce is an over night stocker, who's never even worked a register. They will tell you how to even the smallest part of your job in a smug voice, hoping that you will look at them and wonder why in the world they don't work there too, because they are just that good. When really you are looking at them and wondering if you can get away with telling them where to stick it. Not a good plan, because they also happen to be the Terrorist form of SC as well, because they know how they are supposed to be treated.

Last edited by GayleShy; 01-15-2007 at 09:37 PM. Reason: Poor spelling
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  #110  
Old 01-17-2007, 11:53 AM
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sarahj sarahj is offline
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Quote:
Quoth GayleShy View Post
The former employee: This SC favorite line is "I used to work here so I know that you're supposed to do_____ this way." They have more often than not been fired from the store and will sometimes not even supposed to be in the store, because they have been banned. The banned FE will always look for a new cashier and hope that no one else notices them. The one that hasn't been banned will demand to talk to a supervisor if they don't get their own way, then act as if they were old friends, even if said super could not stand the former employee. They will use the old friends angle until it doesn't suit them anymore, then they will go to the I'm a customer now, and "I used to work her so I know that you're supposed to do_____ this way." It's a horrible circle.
I've had a few customers who "used to work here," thus demanding 'fresh' fries and 'freshly made' burgers, because they "know how it is." Our new system, in which everything is made as it's ordered, gets a "yeah, right," from these people. Argh! Why the %?#@ would I lie to you? I don't tell you "it's made when you order it" to amuse myself!

Here we go:

The Entitled Suggester: Maybe one time they got excellent, above-and-beyond service, and now want it every time. So they were in a fast food place and it was deserted, it took a minute for their order to be prepared so the server told them to take a seat and brought their meals out to them. Now, in a lunch rush, they have a short wait and tell the server, "we'll be sitting over there," pointing across the dining area, "bring it over when it's ready, we'll be waiting." Yeah, sure I will, when 'waitress' becomes part of my job title (read: never).

Once I was serving in the middle of a lunch rush and asked a manager to take a group's food over. "Why'd they sit down?" was the response I got, then when I explained The Entitled Suggester, "let them come back for it." I've actually told people to please wait at the side, it'll be 1-2 minutes (for real, no longer than that), and they've asked me to bring it out, I've told them I'm not allowed to leave my register because it's busy, and they tell me where they're sitting and disappear. The exception to this is customers who require me to bring their meals over regardless of any waiting time - elderly/disabled people. That's cool. They're actually entitled for real, not just in their minds.
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