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Got me some real winners the other day! These are all from the same day, almost one right after the other. They're uncensored and unaltered except all identifying info has been removed to protect the guilty.
Italics = me
Here we go:
Email #1
Message: what the fuck is wrong with my item ? I did the same shit as other people and you ass holes deleting my itmes? FUCK E-BAY!!!! shit heads.. oh my fucken god.. ya fucken shits. !!!!! ass holes !!! WHAT the fuck is wrong !!!!
Let's see now... you're lucky that I don't really care about swearing. Some people aren't as nice as me when it comes to that. Now, as for your items, well, they quite clearly violated policy, and those other people you mentioned? We removed their items too! Stop listing illegal shit and we might not remove your crap.
This one also happened to be the first email I got that day! Yay!
Email #2
Do you know that even Amazon sells that item? That is why I thought you made a mistake and just arbitrarily removed my listing. There is never any assurance when receiving form letters that a real human being exercised discretion and judgment, so I thought you just made a mistake. Even after all of my time on Ebay, you are penalizing me just because some people out there are dishonest, even though I am not.
You were suspended for selling the same thing as dickhead #1 above. I had personally responded to you EVERY TIME you had written in! Just because I create professional responses doesn't make them form letters! TRY READING THEM!!! Oh, wait, you're an SC... If it was a mistake, we wouldn't have removed it multiple times! AND if it was a mistake, I would have reinstated it when you wrote in! Yes, we're penalizing you because some people out there are dishonest, and this INCLUDES you! Not to mention, why should we care if Amazon sells it? Losing a few dollars here an there over lost fees is still MUCH cheaper than lawyers and lawsuit settlements!
Email #3
This is an automated response. No one will read this message. Please do not send general emails to this address. If you have a question about an auction, please use the appropriate messaging mechanism inside the auction site to contact us about our auctions.
This was the response after sending them a detailed message saying why their item was removed and how to properly relist it so it complies with policy. Unlike other SCs, they were at least honest about not bothering to read what we send them.
Email #4
this is fuckin bullshit becasue the down tab had the option of selling an account this is fuckin ridicoulus keep the 5 dollars and stick up your fuckin ass =)
No, please, take your money back! That way you can stick it and your item up your own ass! Maybe you'll get lucky and find your head up there while you're at it.
Email #5
My account has been suspended because I sold an item that violated Ebay policy.
Good job of stating the obvious! I never would have figured that out!
I saw a lot of people selling it, and I just want to try.
Congratulations! You are a lemming!
I promise that I will never list items like that again. If I relapse this 1 more time, Ebay can cancel my account for ever.
You must be psychic!!! That's EXACTLY what will happen!!!
HONESTLY, I LOVE TO WORK ON EBAY VERY MUCH. I'VE SPENT MUCH OF TIME ON EBAY TO ACHIEVE 25 POSITIVE FEEDBACKS SO FAR. I PROMISE I WILL NEVER REPEAT THIS MISTAKE AGAIN, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE SERIOUSLY.
Dude, lay off the caps, I get it. You've learned from your mistake and want your account back. I won't poke fun of your oodles of feedback although the way you phrased it is amusing.
Email #6
Message: I had clearly mentioned this disclaimer in both my listings.
... Very long dislaimer here. ...
Still both my listings were removed, many people have sold <online game>related game items/accounts successfully on ebay and you can still find many sellers selling them if your search ebay for <online game>. So i don't understand your reason for removing my listings. Kindly let me know if i can or cannot sell my items on ebay so i stop wasting my time re listing them again.
Oh no! Not the DISCLAIMER!!! How could we have ever missed seeing that in your listings??? It only comprises 90% of the description! Since you have that disclaimer, I guess that makes everything ok!
Yeah, riiiiiiiiight. I don't care if your disclaimer says that whatever god you pray to gave you explicit instructions to list it or the world would be destroyed! If we had actually bothered to read your pathetic disclaimer that was about 2 pages long, we probably would have used it as proof that you KNEW what you were doing was bad and suspended you right off the bat! The fact that BOTH of your listings were removed, even with your disclaimer, should have been a good tip off that you can't sell them on eBay.
I'll save my disclaimer rant for another post...
Email #7
After I specifically told him previously that he couldn't sell his account, etc., etc., etc., he replied with this:
Thank you for your response. So if I list the game and want to give my account away with the purchase of the game, how do I go about letting the bidder know, without violating ebay policies?
Look you feeble-minded jock squirt, my previous reply that you seem to have actually read couldn't have been any more clear if you were being beaten by a cluebat! Tell you what, I'll contact the game company and have them get in touch with you about selling your account! Let me know how it goes!
Italics = me
Here we go:
Email #1
Message: what the fuck is wrong with my item ? I did the same shit as other people and you ass holes deleting my itmes? FUCK E-BAY!!!! shit heads.. oh my fucken god.. ya fucken shits. !!!!! ass holes !!! WHAT the fuck is wrong !!!!
Let's see now... you're lucky that I don't really care about swearing. Some people aren't as nice as me when it comes to that. Now, as for your items, well, they quite clearly violated policy, and those other people you mentioned? We removed their items too! Stop listing illegal shit and we might not remove your crap.
This one also happened to be the first email I got that day! Yay!
Email #2
Do you know that even Amazon sells that item? That is why I thought you made a mistake and just arbitrarily removed my listing. There is never any assurance when receiving form letters that a real human being exercised discretion and judgment, so I thought you just made a mistake. Even after all of my time on Ebay, you are penalizing me just because some people out there are dishonest, even though I am not.
You were suspended for selling the same thing as dickhead #1 above. I had personally responded to you EVERY TIME you had written in! Just because I create professional responses doesn't make them form letters! TRY READING THEM!!! Oh, wait, you're an SC... If it was a mistake, we wouldn't have removed it multiple times! AND if it was a mistake, I would have reinstated it when you wrote in! Yes, we're penalizing you because some people out there are dishonest, and this INCLUDES you! Not to mention, why should we care if Amazon sells it? Losing a few dollars here an there over lost fees is still MUCH cheaper than lawyers and lawsuit settlements!
Email #3
This is an automated response. No one will read this message. Please do not send general emails to this address. If you have a question about an auction, please use the appropriate messaging mechanism inside the auction site to contact us about our auctions.
This was the response after sending them a detailed message saying why their item was removed and how to properly relist it so it complies with policy. Unlike other SCs, they were at least honest about not bothering to read what we send them.
Email #4
this is fuckin bullshit becasue the down tab had the option of selling an account this is fuckin ridicoulus keep the 5 dollars and stick up your fuckin ass =)
No, please, take your money back! That way you can stick it and your item up your own ass! Maybe you'll get lucky and find your head up there while you're at it.
Email #5
My account has been suspended because I sold an item that violated Ebay policy.
Good job of stating the obvious! I never would have figured that out!
I saw a lot of people selling it, and I just want to try.
Congratulations! You are a lemming!
I promise that I will never list items like that again. If I relapse this 1 more time, Ebay can cancel my account for ever.
You must be psychic!!! That's EXACTLY what will happen!!!HONESTLY, I LOVE TO WORK ON EBAY VERY MUCH. I'VE SPENT MUCH OF TIME ON EBAY TO ACHIEVE 25 POSITIVE FEEDBACKS SO FAR. I PROMISE I WILL NEVER REPEAT THIS MISTAKE AGAIN, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE SERIOUSLY.
Dude, lay off the caps, I get it. You've learned from your mistake and want your account back. I won't poke fun of your oodles of feedback although the way you phrased it is amusing.
Email #6
Message: I had clearly mentioned this disclaimer in both my listings.
... Very long dislaimer here. ...
Still both my listings were removed, many people have sold <online game>related game items/accounts successfully on ebay and you can still find many sellers selling them if your search ebay for <online game>. So i don't understand your reason for removing my listings. Kindly let me know if i can or cannot sell my items on ebay so i stop wasting my time re listing them again.
Oh no! Not the DISCLAIMER!!! How could we have ever missed seeing that in your listings??? It only comprises 90% of the description! Since you have that disclaimer, I guess that makes everything ok!
Yeah, riiiiiiiiight. I don't care if your disclaimer says that whatever god you pray to gave you explicit instructions to list it or the world would be destroyed! If we had actually bothered to read your pathetic disclaimer that was about 2 pages long, we probably would have used it as proof that you KNEW what you were doing was bad and suspended you right off the bat! The fact that BOTH of your listings were removed, even with your disclaimer, should have been a good tip off that you can't sell them on eBay.
I'll save my disclaimer rant for another post...
Email #7
After I specifically told him previously that he couldn't sell his account, etc., etc., etc., he replied with this:
Thank you for your response. So if I list the game and want to give my account away with the purchase of the game, how do I go about letting the bidder know, without violating ebay policies?
Look you feeble-minded jock squirt, my previous reply that you seem to have actually read couldn't have been any more clear if you were being beaten by a cluebat! Tell you what, I'll contact the game company and have them get in touch with you about selling your account! Let me know how it goes!
What a bunch of morons.
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