I don't get why it is that the more people sleep together, the further away they push each other, at least publicly – it’s not like there is need for secrecy; I can understand privacy, its no ones business but the people sleeping together…
Honestly, if you don’t want people to suspect something – don’t change anything. No, seriously – don’t delete or block someone on FB, don’t stop saying hi to each other in public places. If you act as you always did prior to sleeping with the other person, then no one has a reason to start questioning “are X and Y sleeping together? Or did they have a falling out?” It’s when the behavior changes that the questions, speculations and rumors start.
If there are no “ground rules” set in place, then when one party changes behavior, the other party can feel insecure, slighted, degraded, disrespected, insulted, and hurt; “good enough to sleep with, not good enough to acknowledge…” this leads to asking mutual friends “WTF?” which feeds the rumors….
If you were friends before sex, don’t stop being friends just because of sex; both guys and girls can do the “casual sex” thing w/o getting emotionally attached, however most humans are creatures of habit, so we prefer what is familiar and comfortable, the tried & true, “if it ain’t broke, don’t change it”; we often justify it as “the sex is good (enough) and I don’t want to kick them out of bed when we’re done, plus s/he’s hot”
Yes, this is something I'm experiencing.... but I happen to know that I am not the only person that has gone through this, or something similar....
what really doesn't make sense is that I thought we had an *unspoken* understanding of not leaving marks (hickeys/love-bites, etc) on each other - and he left 2 marks on me... I went to work with a visible bite on my neck, now fortunately we don't work w/ the public, but still I do work w/ my mother.
the guy in question - we have slept together on 3 different occasions, the 1st time, nothing changed, the 2nd time - he deleted me from his friends list, then last night I discovered that either I've been blocked, or he's deleted his profile - i'd like to hope that he's deleted his profile, as he's not on very often, but I have a feeling i've been blocked... and the thing is, to me its highly immature, i realize he's younger than me, but since he's a "former" Marine, I kinda expect less immaturity from him; I don't stalk him... i may show a pic of him to someone cause he happens to come up in conversation (and they're not placing face & name), or something equally harmless... even when we were "FB-friends" I didn't like everything he posted, I didn't comment constantly, I treated him the same as everybody else that's not family....
now obviously many of you are going to suggest "Don't sleep with him again"... well... it had been like 6 months since I'd slept w/ any body (and yes, he was the last, also the only one i've slept w/ since my breakup) and I can't count the number times I turned him down.
Honestly, if you don’t want people to suspect something – don’t change anything. No, seriously – don’t delete or block someone on FB, don’t stop saying hi to each other in public places. If you act as you always did prior to sleeping with the other person, then no one has a reason to start questioning “are X and Y sleeping together? Or did they have a falling out?” It’s when the behavior changes that the questions, speculations and rumors start.
If there are no “ground rules” set in place, then when one party changes behavior, the other party can feel insecure, slighted, degraded, disrespected, insulted, and hurt; “good enough to sleep with, not good enough to acknowledge…” this leads to asking mutual friends “WTF?” which feeds the rumors….
If you were friends before sex, don’t stop being friends just because of sex; both guys and girls can do the “casual sex” thing w/o getting emotionally attached, however most humans are creatures of habit, so we prefer what is familiar and comfortable, the tried & true, “if it ain’t broke, don’t change it”; we often justify it as “the sex is good (enough) and I don’t want to kick them out of bed when we’re done, plus s/he’s hot”
Yes, this is something I'm experiencing.... but I happen to know that I am not the only person that has gone through this, or something similar....
what really doesn't make sense is that I thought we had an *unspoken* understanding of not leaving marks (hickeys/love-bites, etc) on each other - and he left 2 marks on me... I went to work with a visible bite on my neck, now fortunately we don't work w/ the public, but still I do work w/ my mother.
the guy in question - we have slept together on 3 different occasions, the 1st time, nothing changed, the 2nd time - he deleted me from his friends list, then last night I discovered that either I've been blocked, or he's deleted his profile - i'd like to hope that he's deleted his profile, as he's not on very often, but I have a feeling i've been blocked... and the thing is, to me its highly immature, i realize he's younger than me, but since he's a "former" Marine, I kinda expect less immaturity from him; I don't stalk him... i may show a pic of him to someone cause he happens to come up in conversation (and they're not placing face & name), or something equally harmless... even when we were "FB-friends" I didn't like everything he posted, I didn't comment constantly, I treated him the same as everybody else that's not family....
now obviously many of you are going to suggest "Don't sleep with him again"... well... it had been like 6 months since I'd slept w/ any body (and yes, he was the last, also the only one i've slept w/ since my breakup) and I can't count the number times I turned him down.
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