Nice people, but this came out of nowhere!

[jarcher77]

I teach English in Japan, and for the most part, I have no problems with students. But this month, I had an issue with a kid's mom and grandmother.

The kid is a 5 year old boy who is a lot of fun to teach. He can read English, which is quite impressive for someone that age. His mother and grandmother are very nice people, as well. I give him a bit extra attention that I don't give to other students by checking his homework in front of his mom and grandma, so they can see his progress.

Well, a couple weeks ago, I heard that they complained that I didn't do anything after the lesson to show them how he's doing in class. I couldn't understand why they would complain, when I go above and beyond for this kid. I know they go over the lessons in his textbook with him before he comes to class, as he always seems to know the vocabulary and grammar that I'm teaching him. But wouldn't you know it, they were very upset and said that I didn't go over what he's done in class in front of them. Every week, I go over his homework in front of them to show them that he knows what he's doing. I ask him questions, have him read it out, and take 10 minutes out of my schedule to do this. I don't have to do that. I do it because he's very good and I want him to succeed. They complained that I didn't do something that I was actually doing!

[Moosenogger]

Parents ruin everything. Sorry to all the parents out there, but you DO. It's usually because of some perceived injustice that isn't actually happening, too. Or they simply hand out terrible advice. That's always fun. (Seriously, I had parents telling their Pre-k aged children that if a child hits them, to hit that child back. Nice way not only make my job harder, but to also assure that your child grows up and goes to prison for assault, parents.)

I really don't know what to tell you. I'd be tempted to stop going above and beyond after the complaint (why bend over backwards and spend your time if the parents are going to bitch?), but I know that it's unfair to the boy to stop the additional tutoring since it's helping him to better himself and learn. I suppose explaining to your superiors that the complaint is unfounded is the best thing you can do. Maybe invite your principal to come in and sit with you, the mom and the grandmother to show him/her that you're doing what they ask.

[thehuckster]

Were they possibly complaining about a certain day where you, for whatever reason, couldn't do your normal routine because you had a prior engagement or something?

Even then, they've got some nerve complaining about that.

[Pixilated]

How good is their English? I'm just wondering if maybe they had a concern about something else (though from your description I can't imagine what) and a lack of familiarity with the language on their part had their complaint coming out about something that you are, in fact, doing.

Sorry, this is probably really reaching, but it was all I could think of.

[Fudgethatkay]

ANNNDDDD another reason why I hate tatemae, which has a part of this.

Tatemae means "public opinion", and basically is a way to kiss ass or be polite in public for the sake of social peace, whereas "honne" (literal translation; real sound) is actually being upfront and honest

However, its being so misused in Japanese modernized culture that nothing gets solved and people just bitch and talk behind each other's back more often.


However, its really ballsy of them not to take their concerns to YOU, even if they are unfounded, and maybe they expect some magical different way of you going over it in front of them.

If you speak Japanese, have you tried explaining? (I know not all english teachers in Japan do, but just in case...)

[bainsidhe]

I'm not familiar enough with Japanese culture, but would it be bad to approach the family about their comments? How does the school/administration want to handle it? Sounds like the family is expecting this special attention after every class, as if this student is the only student and as though teacher has nothing else to do. Lessons are expensive, aren't they? Perhaps the school should suggest the family pay for the extra service.