Please just use your brain

[Trixie]

My store accepts packages from a delivery service. It brings in no business for us whatsoever. People get the packages and leave, rarely buying anything. Whatever. Guy comes in today with a tag from his door wanting his package. We don't have it. I go and tell the guy. But he has the tag and he keeps showing it to me. It says available after 6 pm and lists our store hours. The time on the tag says 1:10, it's currently 3:30ish.

We go around a few times and he walks away but doesn't leave the store. I see him on his phone. Then he comes back to me. I repeat that the driver probably didn't finish the route to drop the packages off. He even reads everything on the tag including the "available after 6 pm" Then he says "So my package is just out there and we don't know where it is?" I repeat again blah blah driver blah blah not done. And finally he leaves. It's like he was thinking the package was available before it was even dropped off at his house because it listed our store hours?

[CyberLurch]

Oh, THIS crap. Yeah, I've run into it one or two or a hundred times. The expectations some people have for USPS, FedEx, UPS, DHL, etc. (and food delivery, for that matter!) are completely devoid of reality, I swear. I could tell a few stories myself, but I don't want to 'jack this thread.

[MoonCat]

It said available after 6 PM, and he expected you to have it around 3:30??

Can he even tell time?

[ladyjaneinmd]

Quoth MoonCat

It said available after 6 PM, and he expected you to have it around 3:30??

Can he even tell time?

Well, of course he did! Doesn't every delivery service run straight to the alternate drop off point after EVERY failed delivery??

I did that once - showed up too early. However, I just realized that I was being foolish to expect my package to be there early when they explained it to me. I didn't mutter and scream and demand service.
Have I been doing this wrong all this time?? oh my!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Quoth MoonCat

It said available after 6 PM, and he expected you to have it around 3:30??

Can he even tell time?

But, it's six o'clock somewhere.

[Trixie]

Thank you all for sharing my pain. Sometimes I think it's me, but I know it's not. And CyberLurch please feel free to highjack the thread. The only way to let go of the pain is to let it out.

[CyberLurch]

Quoth Trixie

Thank you all for sharing my pain. Sometimes I think it's me, but I know it's not. And CyberLurch please feel free to highjack the thread. The only way to let go of the pain is to let it out.

I wouldn't call it 'pain', Trixie. More along the lines of mild amusement at the complete disconnect some people have from reality.

I'll relate a couple that stand out. Bear in mind these are both very old stories.

I worked at a place very similar in concept to Mailboxes, Etc. - in that we accepted shipments for UPS, USPS, FedEx, and DHL. We would also pack items for shipment.

So one afternoon, a Wednesday (that's important), a woman and her friend show up only about 20 minutes before our UPS pickup, wanting to pack and ship a package to East Booblyscrew, UT or something. So I pack it up for her, and we get it on the scales and enter the ship-to address on the computer and it spits out the options.

The most expensive is Next Day Air. Guaranteed delivery Thursday by end of business. Options for this include an even more expensive AM delivery, and a ridiculously expensive 'Early AM delivery'.

Slightly less expensive is Second Day Air. Guaranteed delivery by end of business Friday. Since this type of shipment would basically go on the same plane as a Next Day package, there was a good chance it would also be a Thursday delivery.

Then there was Third Day Select. Technically this is the least expensive 'expedited' service, but in this case it was a non-competitor, because...

UPS Ground, the least expensive option I had, estimated delivery by end of business Friday. However, 'by Friday' was NOT guaranteed. And here was the rub: At that time, UPS would not deliver to a residential address on Saturday unless it was a 'next day air' shipment - and even then, it was extra. So, if it DIDN'T get delivered Friday, it would be Monday at the soonest.

I know, this is data overload. Bear with me.

ALL of these estimates were contingent upon one very simple fact: It had to ship TODAY. As I said, it was only a few minutes now before UPS picked up, and only about 30 to 40 minutes before we closed for the day. And my customers were paralyzed trying to figure out which option to take. When I pointed out the time constraint, one of them chastised me for 'pressuring her'.

FINALLY they make the decision to ship 'next day'... just as the UPS truck pulls up to the door. So, I generate the shipping label, slap it on the box, and hand it off the UPS guy as he picks up everything else that was processed that day. I complete the financial side of the transaction, hand the ladies their receipt and tracking number, and wish them a good day.

The next day around 1pm, who is at my counter in a snit? Yes, one of the ladies from the previous afternoon, furious that she'd spent 'all that money' when there was no reason to... because somehow I'd 'pressured' her. She'd decided AFTER THE FACT that a ground shipment was what she wanted, and now she wanted to change the priority, mid-transit. I suppose what she wanted to do was technically possible, but....

Problem: Her package would have been put on the truck first thing in the morning. So the logistics of her request, assuming it was even actually possible, were ludicrous. But before taking the next step (contacting UPS), I pulled up the shipment on the computer.

DELIVERED less than an hour ago. It was already done. At least, so far as UPS was concerned.

Customer: RAGE.EXE /whine /tantrum /demandrefund
Me: bad command or filename: REFUND.BAT
Customer: ECHO I'm never coming here again !
Me: ECHO okay.
Customer: THREATEN.EXE /lawsuit
Me: ROLLEYES.EXE
Customer: STOMPOUT.EXE /shriek
Me: bad command or filename: GIVESHIT.EXE.

I'll post more another day.

[protege]

Quoth CyberLurch

The expectations some people have for USPS, FedEx, UPS, DHL, etc. (and food delivery, for that matter!) are completely devoid of reality, I swear.

I hear ya. I once worked for a guy who assumed that DHL could deliver packages to destinations 1,200 miles away...on the same day. Seriously, this schmuck forgot to send his daughter a Valentine's Day card, and wanted me to bother with the paperwork to get that taken care of. Er, did I mention his daughter lived in Miami? Long-ass trip from our west-of-Pittsburgh office to her apartment down there. No way it was going to happen, especially with the earliest pickup at 11AM, and the fact that the courier would pick up everything on his route before heading to the sorting center at the airport. So it would go out in the morning and get delivered sometime in the afternoon. Naturally, I got to hear about it, how it was "my fault," "she'll be upset," etc

[CyberLurch]

Quoth protege

I hear ya. I once worked for a guy who assumed that DHL could deliver packages to destinations 1,200 miles away...

Wait until you hear the next one.

[MoonCat]

this schmuck forgot to send his daughter a Valentine's Day card,

THIS....was his hill to die on for that day??

I mean, nothing wrong with parents sending V-Day cards to anyone they care about, but ... it's not like an actual emergency, y'know?