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Last night was the first time in a long time that I've worked the saturday evening shift. I did not miss working that shift, and here's why:
-It's really really slow. How slow? My first safe drop was 2 hours into the shift, and I dropped the minimum amount allowed.
-Only insane people shop at that time of night. Around 9:30 the people doing night shift at the hospital come in but besides them it's nutjobs all the way!
Not my problem
SC: "Can you fill a gas bottle?"
Me: "No, I'm the only worker here and I have to stay behind the counter."
SC: "but I've got hungry kids waiting for their dinner..."
Me: "We can do a swap, but that's about it."
SC: "No it's my gas bottle that I've had for 8 years, I want to keep it. Are you sure you're the only one here?"
I'm sorry, I forgot about Imaginaryman whose job is dealing with people who start cooking dinner at 8pm, don't check their gas bottles first, and don't like the idea of swapping their scungy 8-year-old gas bottle for a shiny new one.
obviously buying millinery supplies
SC: "No! Don't scan that roll of foil! They'll know what I'm buying!"
Eventually I convinced him to let me pretend I was buying it so I could scan the barcode. He paid in cash because "they" know when you use your credit card. Of course we all know there are tracking devices in Australian 50 cent coins anyway... why else would they be so big?
It's a convenience store, not a pick-up joint
Not really sucky but somewhat amusing: A Deaf customer tried to hit on me. She backed off when I said that I learned Auslan because my wife is Deaf. (it's only a little exaggeration, and in just over 4 months it will be true)
Not my problem part 2
SC (same one from before): "That guy who was here an hour ago refused to fill our gas bottle, can we do it ourselves?"
You lose three points. One for not recognising somebody you talked to an hour ago, one for spending an hour touring the other servos in the area and then thinking up a way to attempt to trick me into breaking the law, and one for letting your kids go hungry for another hour instead of finding a different way to cook meat.
Quite well actually
SC: "What's Davidoff taste like? How smooth are they?"
Me: "I don't know, I don't smoke."
SC: (shocked voice as if I'd just admitted to being a necrophiliac or somehting) "How can you not smoke? How do you survive?"
Occam's Razor cut up your bank statement
SC: "The ATM wouldn't give me money! It's says insufficient funds, it must mean that the ATM's broken."
Actually it probably means that you have no money.
My store is unique!
SC: "What do you mean you don't do cash out? You're the only place that doesn't!"
First-degree self pwnage.
Some idiots were seen driving around with a fake police siren. They came past my work with the siren going.
I later heard from a detective on a coffee run that they tried to pull over an undercover police car. Got done for noise pollution and impersonating police, and the car got towed away as defective.
-It's really really slow. How slow? My first safe drop was 2 hours into the shift, and I dropped the minimum amount allowed.
-Only insane people shop at that time of night. Around 9:30 the people doing night shift at the hospital come in but besides them it's nutjobs all the way!
Not my problem
SC: "Can you fill a gas bottle?"
Me: "No, I'm the only worker here and I have to stay behind the counter."
SC: "but I've got hungry kids waiting for their dinner..."
Me: "We can do a swap, but that's about it."
SC: "No it's my gas bottle that I've had for 8 years, I want to keep it. Are you sure you're the only one here?"
I'm sorry, I forgot about Imaginaryman whose job is dealing with people who start cooking dinner at 8pm, don't check their gas bottles first, and don't like the idea of swapping their scungy 8-year-old gas bottle for a shiny new one.
obviously buying millinery supplies
SC: "No! Don't scan that roll of foil! They'll know what I'm buying!"
Eventually I convinced him to let me pretend I was buying it so I could scan the barcode. He paid in cash because "they" know when you use your credit card. Of course we all know there are tracking devices in Australian 50 cent coins anyway... why else would they be so big?
It's a convenience store, not a pick-up joint
Not really sucky but somewhat amusing: A Deaf customer tried to hit on me. She backed off when I said that I learned Auslan because my wife is Deaf. (it's only a little exaggeration, and in just over 4 months it will be true)
Not my problem part 2
SC (same one from before): "That guy who was here an hour ago refused to fill our gas bottle, can we do it ourselves?"
You lose three points. One for not recognising somebody you talked to an hour ago, one for spending an hour touring the other servos in the area and then thinking up a way to attempt to trick me into breaking the law, and one for letting your kids go hungry for another hour instead of finding a different way to cook meat.
Quite well actually
SC: "What's Davidoff taste like? How smooth are they?"
Me: "I don't know, I don't smoke."
SC: (shocked voice as if I'd just admitted to being a necrophiliac or somehting) "How can you not smoke? How do you survive?"
Occam's Razor cut up your bank statement
SC: "The ATM wouldn't give me money! It's says insufficient funds, it must mean that the ATM's broken."
Actually it probably means that you have no money.
My store is unique!
SC: "What do you mean you don't do cash out? You're the only place that doesn't!"
First-degree self pwnage.
Some idiots were seen driving around with a fake police siren. They came past my work with the siren going.
I later heard from a detective on a coffee run that they tried to pull over an undercover police car. Got done for noise pollution and impersonating police, and the car got towed away as defective.
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