Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I Am About To Have One Less Niece...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I Am About To Have One Less Niece...

    ...because I am going to KILL my niece Bug!

    Her mother, my best friend Neets, called me in utter tears today. Why?

    Well, Bug's car died. The one that Neets gave her a while back. The one that Neets put thousands of dollars into. The one that Neets flew to Michigan to retrieve and drive back to Arizona after Bug carelessly and thoughtlessly just left it there. The one that Neets put in Bug's name (which in my mind was foolish).

    So, since Bug's dad was going to GIVE her another car (don't ask me why--love the guy, but do not agree with everything he does, especially where it concerns Bug), Neets asked Bug if it would be alright to give the dead car to a friend of Neets who could repair it and use it. Said friend was down on his luck and could really use something like this. Bug agreed. Neets told Down on His Luck the good news. And then....Bug turned around and gave the car to her friend's drug dealer boyfriend. Basically slapping Neets, her own mother, in the face.

    Now, this may not sound like that much in and of itself. And if this were an isolated incident, it wouldn't be. But the fact is, this is the straw that broke the camel's back, as Neets has basically made it clear to Bug that, if she goes through with this, that is it....Neets is done dealing with Bug, period. I.e., ending their relationship. Bug didn't blink, and went right along with giving the car to the drug dealing twerp, despite having been told that this would end her relationship with her own mother. Either she doesn't believe Neets, or she doesn't care. Either way, still kind of heartless and cold.

    Well, what were the other things she did that brought us to this point? Well, a lot of this came out in my conversation with Neets, some of which I knew about, some of which I had no clue about. They include (but are in no way limited to):

    --coming in to Neets' and Golf Boy's (Neets' husband, Bug's stepfather, great guy) house whenever she felt like it, despite having been told that she was not allowed to be there when Neets and GB weren't there.
    --Lying to GB about various things in an effort to sow seeds of discord in GB's marriage to Neets.
    --Stealing from her little sister's piggy bank. Her little sister, Bear, is 7 and (possibly) autistic. And she is STEALING MONEY from this little angel.
    --having been hammered at a party on New Year's Eve. Now, she just gave birth in October, and I would never begrudge someone their right to have some fun, but she was out at a NYE party, smashed....with her infant son. Get a fucking babysitter. You do NOT bring your infant son to a fucking NYE party!

    Now, Neets knows it was foolish to put the car in Bug's name, and regrets it, since now she has no legal recourse. (Had she kept the car in her own name, Bug could not have pulled this maneuver.) And at my insistence, Neets and GB are, today, getting their house re-keyed, and not giving Bug a key, so she can't continue to cause havoc (like stealing from her special needs sister) when they aren't around.

    I swear, I want to kill this girl.

    My other adult nieces, who drive me nuts for other reasons (one smokes pot and got caught in school with it--dumb move--and the other just moved to Michigan with her 42 year old boyfriend) seem far more awesome to me today because of the utter bullshit that Bug has been heaping on her mother lately.

    For those of you that have been around for a while, you may remember Bug from about 3 years ago, when she had to have brain surgery to alleviate some bleeding in her brain. Despite having had brain surgery, this diva wench seems to be just as messed up in the head as she's ever been. And getting worse.

    I actually said something to Neets that I never thought I would say. Comparing Bug to my unpleasant older sister, The Witch, I actually said "Bug's worse than The Witch." Shocking, but true. Say what you will about The Witch (and I certainly have), she may be a domineering, crass, unpleasant, rude, bitchy, controlling woman, but she is upfront, doesn't lie, doesn't attempt to fuck with people's lives or marriage, doesn't steal, and while she doesn't have children and does enjoy her drink, I cannot for the life of me imagine her EVER having the idiocy to take an infant to a NYE party.

    My niece is horrible, and I may just have to kill her to make the world a better place.

    ARGH!!!!

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    I'd say that after that bullshit, cutting off ties with Bug is a good idea. Just hope someday she gets her shit together.
    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

    Comment


    • #3
      You need to disown her, mentally as well as physically. You feel like her actions are being reflected on you, and that's why you're so angry. Unhook.

      Comment


      • #4
        Not to make excuses, because there aren't any, but is it possible that, due to the brain tumor, there was some type of brain damage to the frontal lobe that has impaired her judgment and messed with her ability to have a social conscience?

        I only ask because it seems like she was a fairly decent kid before this.
        I do know there are some kids who have a major illness or trauma, and they become spoiled, self centred little brats as a result.
        If there was also some damage to her brain because of the surgery, it might explain the change in behaviour.

        That being said, she needs to be held accountable for her actions, regardless of the reasons for it.
        Maybe she really is just a thoughtless brat!

        You can only give them so many chances until you say, "Enough."

        It's a hard thing to sever ties, but sometimes, it just needs to be done.
        In some cases, it's enough of a wakeup call to bring them back on the path, but other times, it's the final step and things will never be the same.

        I really hope it becomes a wakeup call for her.
        Too tired of living and too tired to end it. What a conundrum.

        Comment


        • #5
          It was not a brain tumor. It was, to simplify things, leaky capillaries. They went in, fixed that, added a shunt for drainage, and finished up. And by all accounts, there was no brain damage done in any of the procedures, or by the original problem.

          And for the record, she was a brat long before this shit went down. We had hoped this scare might be the wakeup call she needed. It wasn't. Then we hoped that her recent pregnancy (she gave birth to my grand nephew in October at the age of 19) would be that wakeup call. Again, it wasn't.

          Bug has been a diva shitball for years now, and it is driving me, Neets, and GB nuts. Her dad doesn't really see it, which is a damn shame, because otherwise, he is a pretty awesome guy. (He and I often talk politics online.) If he could only have his eyes opened, and get on board with the rest of us, it might be enough to snap her to some sense of normalcy. Or maybe not. But until that happens, she will just continue to be a little shit.

          Of course, now that she has a child, there is more to it. Neets, as much as she hates the idea of being a grandmother at the age of 39, does not want to give up seeing her grandson, and is considering suing for grandparental rights. I suggested she sue for actual CUSTODY of little Z-Man, but without Bug's father on board with that idea, it would be unlikely to work.

          Myself, I am furious, but am really looking forward to meeting Z-Man for the first time when I am back home in Phoenix next month. Don't know if that will happen, though. Related to that is the home opener of the Diamondbacks....I am going, along with my friend Cat and her husband, and was GOING to give the fourth ticket to Bug as a kind of late birthday present, but right now, I am so pissed at her, there is just no way I am giving her any kind of reward like that. She can piss off. While I have not told her yet that she is no longer going to the game, I can totally see that whole thing interfering with my ability to see my only grand nephew.

          This whole thing blows.

          Neets said to me that it "was kind of like being in an abusive relationship." I pointed out that it wasn't "like" it, it IS an abusive relationship.

          It makes me appreciate my other nieces (21 year old Princess, 18 year old Dragon, and 7 year old Bear) that much more.

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
          Still A Customer."

          Comment


          • #6
            I agree with TheSHADOW, the best way to deal with it is to let go. She's always going to be this way unless a miracle happens and she grows up. My brother in law is like this, he's always bailed out of trouble, is into drugs and acts like a brat towards a good chunk of the family. He's not my problem and I refuse to join in on conversations about him because I really don't care about what he's getting up to. He's older than me, he should know how to behave by now. We kicked him out for not following the house rules, but surprisingly enough he actually respects us now and we have a better relationship than we did. He's one of my best friends, but it doesn't mean that I have to put up with any nonsense.

            Basically, enjoy the good (if there's any) and refuse to have anything to do with the bad stuff, including helping out with anything more concrete than giving good advice. I'm the one that writes his resume and cover letter, and helps him file his tax return, he pays me in chocolate.

            I agree that Neets should have custody of the bub, no baby should have to grow up to constantly changing boyfriends and random friends.
            Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

            Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

            Comment


            • #7
              Lay this burden down, Jester. This girl has made her choices.

              And that grandmother should sue for custody. That innocent child must be protected.
              Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

              Comment


              • #8
                I told Neets she should seriously consider suing for custody of Z-Man, but since Bug's father Crow would not be on board for that, she believes (probably correctly) that she wouldn't really have much of a chance of success. There are other considerations as well that I won't go into detail about, but since she won't even think about doing more than suing for grandparental rights, there's not much I can do about it.

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

                Comment


                • #9
                  You could always call child protective services.
                  Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I agree with Kristev, have Neets & GB change the locks...make sure that Bear understands that Bug is not to get a key under any circumstances.

                    Cut off Bug and encourage Neets & GB to put in for full-blown custody. Yes child-protective services is not a bad idea. BTW, who is Bug's baby-daddy? Is he a loser as well?
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Man, she sounds like my brother. Maybe the two of them could meet up, and just like...implode on their selfishness. :P

                      Poor Neets. Hope everything works out. :<
                      By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                      "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Kristev View Post
                        You could always call child protective services.
                        That is not my call, especially living in Florida whereas all the other major players live in Phoenix.

                        That would be the call of Neets and/or Crow, Bug's parents, especially since Bug is living at Crow's house at the moment.

                        Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                        I agree with Kristev, have Neets & GB change the locks...make sure that Bear understands that Bug is not to get a key under any circumstances.
                        Locks changed, and for far less money than Neets expected (about 15 bucks instead of the 250 she was expecting). Bear doesn't have a key to give Bug, as Bear is by 7 and somewhat special needs....we think mildly autistic, but we don't have a confirmed diagnosis as of yet.

                        Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                        Cut off Bug and encourage Neets & GB to put in for full-blown custody. Yes child-protective services is not a bad idea. BTW, who is Bug's baby-daddy? Is he a loser as well?
                        I am encouraging them to do so, but that is all I an do. I cannot force them to do that if they are not willing to do so.

                        As for Z-Man's father, by all accounts he is a decent enough fellow, and once paternity was established, he and Bug kinda settled down as boyfriend and girlfriend. (When she first got pregnant, there were 2 possibilities for who the father might be, apparently.) He is in the military or military reserve (not sure which), and again, seems decent enough, although as dumb as any other young twentysomething is.

                        (This is not to insult any twentysomethings here.....we're all dumber when we're younger, myself included. And by that I mean making bad choices, hanging with the wrong people, etc. Not that that is an exclusive domain of the young, it is just more prominent with them.)

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Personally, I never trust the judgement of ANY male human under the age of 35. And I'm in my Mid-20's!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            Locks changed, and for far less money than Neets expected (about 15 bucks instead of the 250 she was expecting).
                            Well that's good to hear. And woot on the low cost, I actually expected it'd be a crazy price too.
                            By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                            "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              And yet again, more proof of one of my favorite sayings: It never hurts to ask. LOL!

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                              Still A Customer."

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X