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Stupidest Returns~

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  • #31
    Mom's "cranky old man", after maybe a decade of getting by with the same size flatscreen TV we have, had decided that he wants a 50" (where the hell are you gonna put that), 1080P, 4K, smart TV that can make him a cup of coffee too.

    We threatened to descend on his apartment with the 4K Ghostbusters releases if he actually got one.
    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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    • #32
      Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
      It's the same as people who buy a fan/air conditioner at the beginning of the summer, then return them once the weather cools off, apparently unfamiliar with the concept that it will get hot again the same time next year.

      Of course, they're just using them as "extended rentals" so they don't actually have to pay for them. Which is so stupid...a well-maintained air conditioner should be able to last for at least a decade, and isn't it worth $200 or less for a decade's worth of cool summer nights? And even a cheap fan will last for well OVER a decade.
      I've had the one in my BR now for 12 summers. And its still going strong! the good thing is, we have thru the wall units, and when I moved in, they only provided one in the LR, not the BR, so I had to buy one. Now? they give you both, so when this one finally gives up the ghost, I',m going to insist they put a new one in, since they would anyway if I moved out.

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      • #33
        Stupidest attempted return I heard of at the hellmart was a gas lantern that was over 20 years old and not a brand we'd ever sold... The manager barely managed to contain his laughter as he told the customer no on that one.

        It's like power generators during our outages, why do people return them?! If you're out in the boonies, you are going to need it again before the year is up, so why haul it back to the store, attempt to return it, and then haul it back home?!
        If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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        • #34
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          I wish I still had my old, 1970s puke-gold box fan. The metal blades made such a ghostly howl. But it was oddly soothing.
          I used to have my grandma's ooooold all-metal fan, until it finally gave up the ghost for the last time a few years ago. I LOVED that thing. It was old school -- complete with huge metal fanblades that would cut you quite eaily if you got too close, and an utterly inadequate guard. It had three skinny rails in a "+" pattern radiating out from the center, with good 4+ inch wedge-shaped gap in between them that even an adult's hand could easily fit through. Ran hot as hell, though, and after the third time replacing the end of the wall plug, we just gave up on the thing. Still made a neat decoration, though

          It's like power generators during our outages, why do people return them?!
          Many, many places have "no returns, PERIOD" policies on generators and other gas-powered devices, unless you can prove that they've never been used. Every time there's a widespread power outage and/or hurricane back on the coast, oodles of people would try to "rent" generators in this way, then bring them back to the store afterwards and insist that their dirty, reeking-of-gas generator was either never used, or defective...less than 48 hours after power was restored to everyone.
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • #35
            Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
            It's the same as people who buy a fan/air conditioner at the beginning of the summer, then return them once the weather cools off, apparently unfamiliar with the concept that it will get hot again the same time next year.
            Even better yet are the ones that buy an AC in the *first* heat wave of the year, return it, and are surprised and upset when, during the *second* heat wave of the year, the store is sold out of them.

            I took great joy dealing with one of these twatwaffles when I told him that every Wally World in the city was sold out and the next shipment was.....the next year.

            B
            "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
            I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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            • #36
              There is a 14 day return policy here at the bookstore. So far people have brought back books saying, "I didn't know it was only 14 days". Most people said they bought a book for a family member, but then the family member already has the book. Or the other way around: the family member bought a book they already had, so they are returning the gift/his copy.

              I can see how the bookstore doesn't want someone to return a book after a few months, because the book is no longer popular and we don't have the space for it since we got new books in. I also can see how the bookstore thinks the average customer would take longer then two weeks to read a book and return in after they've read it.
              Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

              Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

              I wish porn had subtitles.

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              • #37
                2 weeks?! Damn, you must sell to the slow readers. Give me a book I really want, and I'll tear through it in a day, see if I don't.
                Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
                Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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                • #38
                  Quoth Deserted View Post
                  2 weeks?! Damn, you must sell to the slow readers. Give me a book I really want, and I'll tear through it in a day, see if I don't.
                  Same here, or two if its a doorstopper

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                  • #39
                    Quoth Deserted View Post
                    2 weeks?! Damn, you must sell to the slow readers. Give me a book I really want, and I'll tear through it in a day, see if I don't.
                    I can finish some before I leave the shop...
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                    • #40
                      Quoth The Braindead Live View Post
                      Me: We don't have that product here.
                      SC: Why not? I bought this product here last week.
                      That happened at my last retail job. A guy started arguing with the department manager when he told him we didn't sell the item he was looking for. The guy swore up and down that he did buy it from us, and finally "proved" it by showing the receipt from when he bought it last. Naturally, the receipt had the name and logo of our competitor across the top.
                      Sometimes life is altered.
                      Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                      Uneasy with confrontation.
                      Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                      • #41
                        Quoth MadMike View Post
                        Naturally, the receipt had the name and logo of our competitor across the top.
                        And what was his reply when this was pointed out?

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                        • #42
                          Quoth eltf177 View Post
                          And what was his reply when this was pointed out?
                          He just kind of sputtered and walked out.
                          Sometimes life is altered.
                          Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                          Uneasy with confrontation.
                          Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            At the library, I would say our "stupidest returns" are the customers who return items belonging to other library systems. I know mistakes happen, but occasionally customers do return multiple items from "Nearby City Library System" in our bookdrop. (back when Hollywood Video and Blockbuster were still around, we'd sometimes get their movies returned here, too)

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                            • #44
                              I did that once - took a book from the local high school to the local library. My only defense was that I was 12 years old. My mom called about it, and the library person told her the book had been mailed to the high school. I remember which book it was, too - Les Miserables.

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                              • #45
                                I'll just leave this here... Honest Trailers: Les Miserables

                                Last edited by Deserted; 08-04-2016, 04:56 AM. Reason: couldn't resist
                                Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                                OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                                she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
                                Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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