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Doc, the overnight driver, gets a call from Local Kab Korp, one of their drivers has broken down something fierce up at the Sheetz store at 1500 N Placid St (Northeastern equivalent of Starbucks, you can walk out of one and into another and not notice it) and needs a rescue.
No big deal, we have a contract in place with LKK to do all their towing, and since they seem to be using last-gen Ford Minivans, converted to taxi use AFTER an unspecified time as regular cars, we'll be doing a LOT of towing for them. Seriously, the outfit that bought second hand Kia Sedonas didn't have this much trouble, until Uber wiped them out.... that is.
Doc drives up there and sees the cab pulled into the forecourt of the gas station half of the Sheetz. He hops out and trots up to the driver and explains he needs to get out so Doc can tow it.
Oh no, says the cabbie, he'll just sit there for the tow.
Doc explains that's a bit too illegal for his liking. DOT regulations (Uncle Sam says Jump, we say how high?) say a live person riding in a towed vehicle is a no-no with a capital "$", get it? They probably wouldn't let us even tow a hearse unless everyone got out, including the VIP.
Cabbie wants to argue, Doc tells him there's no argument to be had, if he's going to get a tow, he needs to get out of the vehicle.
So the cabbie gets out of the van.... and gets out of the van....and gets out of the van..... and gets out of the van.... uh, wow...
There was about 400+ pounds of flabby cabbie in that cab
, I didn't see it, and Doc is wont to exaggerate a little (he sees two dogs fighting over a bone, by the time he's relayed the story to you, the National Guard was involved) but something tells me he was telling the truth on this one.
Being a FWD van with no obstacles around, it only takes Doc 30 seconds to lace up the wheels, put a bow on it, and be ready to go back to the taxi garage. Now the hard part ensues. Getting the cabbie into Doc's truck.
Now, keep in mind, this is a stock-ride height Ford F-450, it's not some jacked up abomination of a Bro-Dozer where you're risking oxygen starvation to climb into, it rides as low to the ground as a UHaul truck, and, it's got running boards for just such an occasion, getting not very agile people into the cab.
So, imagine Doc's consternation that he just CANNOT get this gentleman into the cab with him. At best, cabbie can put one foot on the running board, but he's just too wide to put both on without falling off, he's also not flexible enough to step directly to the floorboard. He can get a leg up, but unless he's holding it in place, it just pops out and back down to the ground.
Doc tries his best to pull the man up with him, and failing that, tries to go to the other side and PUSH him up, only to have the very squickly experience of the man starting to ENVELOP him
After a good 15 minutes of trying, Doc is becoming fearful that out of desperation, someone will do something that will result in an unpadded head striking a solid surface, and then everyone's in trouble from someone.... he calls the LKK headquarters and asks if they can send another one of their drivers to pick up theirs.
Now, here's the suck, the dispatcher at LKK EXPLODES at Doc, WHAT do we mean we need a cab? "Just put the guy in the cab and tow the guy over here!"
Doc explains he'll gladly do that, if LKK fronts the five-figures we'd get fined for that.
This doesn't satiate the dispatcher who tells him "Just let the guy ride with you!"
Doc explains that he's spent the last quarter of an hour trying to find a way to stuff 400 pounds of their employee in a 300 pound bag, and it ain't working.
LKK says we're being "difficult" and "They're [sic] losing money on this guy's shift already!"
Doc tells them they don't have to send a cab, he'll bring the one he's got loaded to them post haste, but, it's going to be without a driver because he can't take him, due to law, both of the land and the Newtonian physics kind.
So, as soon as they make up their mind if they're coming or not, they can call him back, otherwise, he's going to consider this call to be on "standby" and there IS a Borough-mandated $40 fee for that, chargeable every 20 minutes or part thereof if you are hooked up and ready to go but due to humm-hawing from a customer, can't wring a tow destination out of them. (Cops hate when people who have accidents can't make up their minds where they want to go while you're blocking a lane of traffic with the metallic accordion that used to be their car on your back, this is intended to sweat an answer out of them
).
LKK's dispatcher cusses, again accuses Doc of being "difficult" and says they're sending a cab for their guy.
Flabby Cabby, who's heard the whole conversation over the radio about his employer nearly leaving him effectively stranded at 2am (he certainly ain't walkin' home) spends the next 15 minutes hurling vicious blue insults at the passing traffic until his ride got there. Doc said he was kinda concerned it may induce a heart attack, the fury he was going at it with, but he at least calmed down when the other taxi got there and everyone convoyed it over to the LKK lot.
You will NOT pass the buck to us, especially when it weighs that much, and you certainly won't be giving us any lip, your "fleet" rates are below standard tow rates as a courtesy, NOT a privilege.
No big deal, we have a contract in place with LKK to do all their towing, and since they seem to be using last-gen Ford Minivans, converted to taxi use AFTER an unspecified time as regular cars, we'll be doing a LOT of towing for them. Seriously, the outfit that bought second hand Kia Sedonas didn't have this much trouble, until Uber wiped them out.... that is.
Doc drives up there and sees the cab pulled into the forecourt of the gas station half of the Sheetz. He hops out and trots up to the driver and explains he needs to get out so Doc can tow it.
Oh no, says the cabbie, he'll just sit there for the tow.
Doc explains that's a bit too illegal for his liking. DOT regulations (Uncle Sam says Jump, we say how high?) say a live person riding in a towed vehicle is a no-no with a capital "$", get it? They probably wouldn't let us even tow a hearse unless everyone got out, including the VIP.
Cabbie wants to argue, Doc tells him there's no argument to be had, if he's going to get a tow, he needs to get out of the vehicle.
So the cabbie gets out of the van.... and gets out of the van....and gets out of the van..... and gets out of the van.... uh, wow...
There was about 400+ pounds of flabby cabbie in that cab
, I didn't see it, and Doc is wont to exaggerate a little (he sees two dogs fighting over a bone, by the time he's relayed the story to you, the National Guard was involved) but something tells me he was telling the truth on this one. Being a FWD van with no obstacles around, it only takes Doc 30 seconds to lace up the wheels, put a bow on it, and be ready to go back to the taxi garage. Now the hard part ensues. Getting the cabbie into Doc's truck.
Now, keep in mind, this is a stock-ride height Ford F-450, it's not some jacked up abomination of a Bro-Dozer where you're risking oxygen starvation to climb into, it rides as low to the ground as a UHaul truck, and, it's got running boards for just such an occasion, getting not very agile people into the cab.
So, imagine Doc's consternation that he just CANNOT get this gentleman into the cab with him. At best, cabbie can put one foot on the running board, but he's just too wide to put both on without falling off, he's also not flexible enough to step directly to the floorboard. He can get a leg up, but unless he's holding it in place, it just pops out and back down to the ground.
Doc tries his best to pull the man up with him, and failing that, tries to go to the other side and PUSH him up, only to have the very squickly experience of the man starting to ENVELOP him
After a good 15 minutes of trying, Doc is becoming fearful that out of desperation, someone will do something that will result in an unpadded head striking a solid surface, and then everyone's in trouble from someone.... he calls the LKK headquarters and asks if they can send another one of their drivers to pick up theirs.
Now, here's the suck, the dispatcher at LKK EXPLODES at Doc, WHAT do we mean we need a cab? "Just put the guy in the cab and tow the guy over here!"
Doc explains he'll gladly do that, if LKK fronts the five-figures we'd get fined for that.
This doesn't satiate the dispatcher who tells him "Just let the guy ride with you!"
Doc explains that he's spent the last quarter of an hour trying to find a way to stuff 400 pounds of their employee in a 300 pound bag, and it ain't working.
LKK says we're being "difficult" and "They're [sic] losing money on this guy's shift already!"
Doc tells them they don't have to send a cab, he'll bring the one he's got loaded to them post haste, but, it's going to be without a driver because he can't take him, due to law, both of the land and the Newtonian physics kind.
So, as soon as they make up their mind if they're coming or not, they can call him back, otherwise, he's going to consider this call to be on "standby" and there IS a Borough-mandated $40 fee for that, chargeable every 20 minutes or part thereof if you are hooked up and ready to go but due to humm-hawing from a customer, can't wring a tow destination out of them. (Cops hate when people who have accidents can't make up their minds where they want to go while you're blocking a lane of traffic with the metallic accordion that used to be their car on your back, this is intended to sweat an answer out of them
). LKK's dispatcher cusses, again accuses Doc of being "difficult" and says they're sending a cab for their guy.
Flabby Cabby, who's heard the whole conversation over the radio about his employer nearly leaving him effectively stranded at 2am (he certainly ain't walkin' home) spends the next 15 minutes hurling vicious blue insults at the passing traffic until his ride got there. Doc said he was kinda concerned it may induce a heart attack, the fury he was going at it with, but he at least calmed down when the other taxi got there and everyone convoyed it over to the LKK lot.
You will NOT pass the buck to us, especially when it weighs that much, and you certainly won't be giving us any lip, your "fleet" rates are below standard tow rates as a courtesy, NOT a privilege.
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