I'm sure that every single customer I've dealt with has been described somewhere in these forums but give me a break, I don't have the time or patience to go through them all. Besides, who doesn't want to hear about my time spent working for Wal-Mart.
As a cashier:
The Price Nazi- An often hostile person who watches every single item you scan to make sure it rings up at the correct price. The Price Nazi's vigilence is rewarded with an average savings of $0.21.
The Coupon Librarian- Often the same as a Price Nazi, the Coupon Librarian has a coupon for every item in their cart. Very often, the Coupon Librarian's coupons do not even match the item's in the cart, but you had better not point that out, or a hissy fit will ensue.
The Coupon Thief- No, the Coupon Thief does not steal coupons but rather attempts to rip off the store through the use of expired coupons. You can tell the difference between a Coupon Thief and a person who genuinely didn't notice the coupon was expired because the Coupon Thief pulls the stunt frequently. Coupon Thiefs will also attempt to "accidentally" tear off the date.
The Price Switcher- You know 'em. You love to hate 'em. The Price Switcher pulls the theivery classic of switching the price tag on something with another tag of less value. "You mean that huge area rug isn't five dollars?"
Everybody's Friend- Working at the store directly across from the Wal-Mart Home Office made this one a picnic indeed. Everybody's Friend knows lots of people in high places and isn't afraid to let you know it. Everybody's Friend often wants special courtesies because of their status.
The Company Employee- Akin to Everybody's Friend, the Company Employee believes that just because they work for the same company as you, and they hold a higher rank, they should be allowed to do whatever they damn well please.
The Long-Time Customer- Akin to the previous two, the Long-Time Customer obviously deserves special treatment because he's been shopping at your store for years, never mind you're the only one in town and he's lived there all his life.
"I Didn't Want Cash Back"- The machine askes them about three different times if they would like cash back AND they so obviously didn't but they somehow ended up with the cash anyway. This person often wants you to work some form of magic and make the money reappear in their account.
The Chronically Late- This person can't be bothered to wait in line for more than two seconds because they are late for something and obviously the world revolves around them. I know I like to go shopping when I'm running late for something.
The Mid-Morning Me- The Mid-Morning Me shops at ridiculously early times and wonders why there aren't more employees to cater to their every whim.
"Make People Appear"- This person fully expects you to make more associates appear out of thin air to open up more registers. Like your store has a secret supply of them in the back and you don't have every register trained associate on a register.
The Lazy Parent- The Lazy Parent let's their child reak havoc upon your register while pretending it's normal.
El Familia Mexicano- No, I don't know if that's actually Spanish and I'm not usually rascist but this one deserves a spot. El Familia Mexicano is a large hispanic family that is incredibly difficult to communicate with. The youngest person seems to be the only member of the family who can speak English and thus, acts as a spokesman for the family.
Soda Pop Drop- If you or this person drops any of their carbonated beverages, they demand that somebody go back and get them a new one. Obviously, the beverage will be flat and unfit for consumption by the time they make it home.
The Angry Smoker- No, you can not purchase cigarettes here. Why not? Because they can only be purchased at register 12. BUT I DON"T WANT TO USE MY CARD TWICE! Looks like you're going to have to.
The Garden Center Entrant- The Garden Center Entrant obviously enters the store through the Garden Center. They then check out their two cart loads of items at the Garden Center registers that were only built to be express lanes; all without a single Garden Center item.
The Weakling- The Weakling puts his cart in front of you and proceeds to stare. Obviously, this person can't lift a finger and means for you to unload his cart for him.
The Unattended Child- The unattended child makes a mess of the store's aisles, rides anything remotely rideable, and pays with nickles for a single slushy.
The Fruit Thief- The Fruit Thief spends their time in your store eating from a bag of fruit, knowing full well that fruit is weighed and they won't be charged for their greedy consumption.
The Pedophile- The name pretty much says it all. This person spends their time hitting on your underage female coworkers. I personally enjoy playing the jealous boyfriend.
I have many, many more but I figure twenty is enough for now. Trust me, they'll get better when I work my way up to my Customer Service experiences.
As a cashier:
The Price Nazi- An often hostile person who watches every single item you scan to make sure it rings up at the correct price. The Price Nazi's vigilence is rewarded with an average savings of $0.21.
The Coupon Librarian- Often the same as a Price Nazi, the Coupon Librarian has a coupon for every item in their cart. Very often, the Coupon Librarian's coupons do not even match the item's in the cart, but you had better not point that out, or a hissy fit will ensue.
The Coupon Thief- No, the Coupon Thief does not steal coupons but rather attempts to rip off the store through the use of expired coupons. You can tell the difference between a Coupon Thief and a person who genuinely didn't notice the coupon was expired because the Coupon Thief pulls the stunt frequently. Coupon Thiefs will also attempt to "accidentally" tear off the date.
The Price Switcher- You know 'em. You love to hate 'em. The Price Switcher pulls the theivery classic of switching the price tag on something with another tag of less value. "You mean that huge area rug isn't five dollars?"
Everybody's Friend- Working at the store directly across from the Wal-Mart Home Office made this one a picnic indeed. Everybody's Friend knows lots of people in high places and isn't afraid to let you know it. Everybody's Friend often wants special courtesies because of their status.
The Company Employee- Akin to Everybody's Friend, the Company Employee believes that just because they work for the same company as you, and they hold a higher rank, they should be allowed to do whatever they damn well please.
The Long-Time Customer- Akin to the previous two, the Long-Time Customer obviously deserves special treatment because he's been shopping at your store for years, never mind you're the only one in town and he's lived there all his life.
"I Didn't Want Cash Back"- The machine askes them about three different times if they would like cash back AND they so obviously didn't but they somehow ended up with the cash anyway. This person often wants you to work some form of magic and make the money reappear in their account.
The Chronically Late- This person can't be bothered to wait in line for more than two seconds because they are late for something and obviously the world revolves around them. I know I like to go shopping when I'm running late for something.
The Mid-Morning Me- The Mid-Morning Me shops at ridiculously early times and wonders why there aren't more employees to cater to their every whim.
"Make People Appear"- This person fully expects you to make more associates appear out of thin air to open up more registers. Like your store has a secret supply of them in the back and you don't have every register trained associate on a register.
The Lazy Parent- The Lazy Parent let's their child reak havoc upon your register while pretending it's normal.
El Familia Mexicano- No, I don't know if that's actually Spanish and I'm not usually rascist but this one deserves a spot. El Familia Mexicano is a large hispanic family that is incredibly difficult to communicate with. The youngest person seems to be the only member of the family who can speak English and thus, acts as a spokesman for the family.
Soda Pop Drop- If you or this person drops any of their carbonated beverages, they demand that somebody go back and get them a new one. Obviously, the beverage will be flat and unfit for consumption by the time they make it home.
The Angry Smoker- No, you can not purchase cigarettes here. Why not? Because they can only be purchased at register 12. BUT I DON"T WANT TO USE MY CARD TWICE! Looks like you're going to have to.
The Garden Center Entrant- The Garden Center Entrant obviously enters the store through the Garden Center. They then check out their two cart loads of items at the Garden Center registers that were only built to be express lanes; all without a single Garden Center item.
The Weakling- The Weakling puts his cart in front of you and proceeds to stare. Obviously, this person can't lift a finger and means for you to unload his cart for him.
The Unattended Child- The unattended child makes a mess of the store's aisles, rides anything remotely rideable, and pays with nickles for a single slushy.
The Fruit Thief- The Fruit Thief spends their time in your store eating from a bag of fruit, knowing full well that fruit is weighed and they won't be charged for their greedy consumption.
The Pedophile- The name pretty much says it all. This person spends their time hitting on your underage female coworkers. I personally enjoy playing the jealous boyfriend.
I have many, many more but I figure twenty is enough for now. Trust me, they'll get better when I work my way up to my Customer Service experiences.
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