Lonestar and the Mascara Kid

[Gravekeeper]

perhaps he needs a copy of the apache software. but then im being naive and innocent again, probably the gunship. ive seen a couple of rc versions that i want. complete with foam missiles and airsoft chaingun.

To clarify, he was calling a plumbing/heating company.

Try and extrapolate wtf he's talking about from there. ><

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

…..dude, seriously. If you took a chimp, sat him down, then snuck up behind him with a shovel and cracked him across the back of the head that’s the exact noise he would make as he sunk into unconsciousness.

Thanks for cracking me up this morning ... I needed it

[Jester]

GK, definitely one of your better ones lately. I literally had tears coming out of my eyes. Though that may be from hunger, too, since I have not consumed anything more than Advil and Gatorade (great hangover cure, I highly recommend it) since about 9 pm last night. Well, other than all the beer that caused the need for the hangover cure, of course.

Me: “Ok, and how many tickets would you like?”
SC: “Just the winning one.”

Yes. I’ve never heard anything like that before. Ever. For truly you are a cunning jester whose material reverbs up my funny bone with its originality.

Okay, now that is just not fair. Really. Why the insult? What have I ever done to YOU, GK, to deserve comparison to this unoriginal thinking assmunch? Seriously. Sure, not everyone likes me, and some people find me downright obnoxious, rude, and/or inconsiderate. But NO ONE thinks I am unoriginal or that completely unfunny.

As....fucking.....IF!

……uywah?

Okay, the whole post had me laughing, but this was truly hilarious. Oh my freakin' beer, it was awesome!

I really must retire the word “only” as it has failed me far too many times.

I know the feeling all too well.

CUSTOMER: "What drafts are included in the happy hour special?"
JESTER: "Only Bud Light, Miller Light, and Yuengling."
CUSTOMER: "So, no Sam Adams?"

I am with you. People either no longer understand the meaning of the word "only" or they just flat out don't hear it anymore, either because they don't want to, or they have just been conditioned not to accept defeat by the societal belief that "anything is possible." Which is of course patently false. You don't believe me? Okay, anyone that think that anything is possible, feel free to attempt to dunk over Shaq. Good luck. Call me from the ER.

Better yet....don't. But say hi to the Diesel for me.

SC: “I need an apache”

…..as in the tribe or the gunship?

Hey, I like this guy's style! I too would like to order an Apache. Hey, like me, they are from Arizona. Both the gunship and (some of) the tribe! But I am referring to the gunship, of course. Think of how much havoc and destruction great things I could achieve with such a thing?

Hey, you're always saying how so many of your customers are lazy sloths....at least THIS guy's got ambition!

[chainedbarista]

SC: “It was a pink plaid jacket.”

an item, which this fashionista will soon pair with the much reviled pink camo skirt, because she saw it on a paris runway...while tripping on acid (or snorting paint thinner).

you know this will happen, and this will herald the end of civilization, not the mystery life forms growing on train floor. we are doomed, doomed, i say!

[NightWatch]

Plaid and camo don't go together at all. Even if they are color coordinated. That is just an all around vile combination... My fashion senses tingle...

[karma_gypsy]

Pink plaid? What next? Pink tiger stripes? Pink cow patterns? Pink zebra stripes? When will the madness end?

[Stormraven]

Being a fan of Renn Faires and Scottish Games, let me simply say 'McBumble'. I believe it's the McLeod Tartan. Bright yellow and black.

Undoubtedly not as eye-searing as pink plaid, but still...

Grr, the forum's been glitchy on me big time, it took several reloads and actually leaving the site for hours before I got the 'post' button to show up, and then I couldn't quick reply.

[wynjara]

I believe there's a Clan MacPizzaHut or somesuch that wears the most eye-searing plaids they can find.

[Jester]

What next? Pink tiger stripes? Pink cow patterns? Pink zebra stripes?

Seen them, seen them, and seen them. Sorry, but if *I* seen them, you are behind the times.

[Imogene]

Pink plaid? What next? Pink tiger stripes? Pink cow patterns? Pink zebra stripes? When will the madness end?

*twitches an eyebrow* I, like Jester, have seen all of these, admittedly, in my cases, they're more likely to be fur colors... Seriously, look at a handful of furres in suit, or their personae... you'll see pink just about everywhere.
*sayeth the pink bunny/skunk...*

Sure, not everyone likes me, and some people find me downright obnoxious, rude, and/or inconsiderate.

Oh, my Gord, I read that as 'nude', and my mind went 'crack'...

[Jester]

Oh, my Gord, I read that as 'nude', and my mind went 'crack'...

Well, I've been known to hang out at clothing optional establishments, and I worked for just over a year as a DJ at a clothing optional bar, so that is really not that much of a stretch, to be honest. And as I've said many, many times, I really am not shy about such things at all.

[Becks]

You wanna change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu...

Love the Simpsons reference.

[jerkface11]

the guy across from me shouted out “Happy Birthday!” a few times to Lonestar. This guy is a jerkface.

I'd like to point out that I never shout "Happy Birthday!" to anyone.

[Dark Psion]

Actually, they're gnomes. Not talking like garden gnomes. Gnomes are traditionally short, and tinkerers by trade, with a bonus to intelligence. That's right, Christmas Elves are a LIE. They're actually Christmas GNOMES.

And to prove I am a "Nerd Child", I said this out loud before going to the next page and reading this.


Oh and “..uuuywahhhh……”

[Animae]

Pink plaid is an abomination to all eyeballs.