Jeez.
You may remember that I asked for advice about an upcoming face-to-face meeting with a guy I met online last year. He came here almost a week ago.
I met with him on Friday.
We met at a very popular place, with a lot of people around. Very good. He seemed to like the place - there's always, always someone to talk to there, and the atmosphere is very friendly and vibrant.
We talked about this and that, and he began peppering me with questions. Increasingly personal ones, too, relating to why I'm here, whether I think I'll ever move back to the States, and on and on and ON. Just about every answer I gave (and I wonder, now, why I didn't refuse to answer him) was met with a look of disbelief and an attitude of "Well, I can't imagine doing that."
Oh, and here's a good one. I met him through a dating site for childfree people. I mentioned this - the benefits of not having children. He said, "Well, I don't know. It could happen."
Uh, WHAT? If you're open to having children, why in the holy fuck did you create a profile on a dating site that is specifically and exclusively for people who don't have children, don't want children, and will not have children?
I was relieved that I had an appointment, so that eventually, I would be able to leave. He suggested getting a bite to eat. I was up for that, and suggested a good ethnic restaurant nearby.
Oh, but he didn't want that particular food.
I suggested another ethnic restaurant that is just across the street from the first one.
Oh, but restaurants such as that are everywhere in the city where he lives.
He suggested another option - this country's traditional fare - and I pointed out that I can get that food anytime. I suggested a compromise, which did seem to interest him, but by that point, there wasn't enough time to go anywhere for food.
On our way out of the venue, he told me to wait for him; he wanted to talk to someone for "a minute". I paid for my order and waited. He finally showed up, and we left. He wanted to know how to buy public transportation tickets, and I had offered to show him how the machines work.
We walked past a store.
"What's this? Oh - do they have snacks in there? Really? Give me thirty seconds."
Now, of course, I wish I had just walked off and left him there. But I waited.
He didn't take too long, fortunately, but definitely more than the thirty-second time frame he mentioned.
We went to the nearest machine where he could buy tickets, and I showed him how to use them. He asked me one question after another, with time ticking away. Fortunately, I had given myself a good time cushion, but he didn't know that.
I finally peeled away from him and left.
I'm not at all happy with this guy. He knew I had to be somewhere, and he kept wasting my time. He kept asking me personal questions, then disagreeing with my answers. He seemed to expect me to just take care of him and set aside my appointments to do something for him.
So, fuck it. I wondered what approach to take. He's going to be here for around two more weeks, unfortunately. I thought of "ghosting" him, but decided against it; even though he's probably used to it, and may deserve it, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. I sent him a message today telling him that I wasn't up for meeting him again, and telling him to enjoy the rest of his stay.
I guess the moral of this story is, don't sign up on dating sites.
You may remember that I asked for advice about an upcoming face-to-face meeting with a guy I met online last year. He came here almost a week ago.
I met with him on Friday.
We met at a very popular place, with a lot of people around. Very good. He seemed to like the place - there's always, always someone to talk to there, and the atmosphere is very friendly and vibrant.
We talked about this and that, and he began peppering me with questions. Increasingly personal ones, too, relating to why I'm here, whether I think I'll ever move back to the States, and on and on and ON. Just about every answer I gave (and I wonder, now, why I didn't refuse to answer him) was met with a look of disbelief and an attitude of "Well, I can't imagine doing that."
Oh, and here's a good one. I met him through a dating site for childfree people. I mentioned this - the benefits of not having children. He said, "Well, I don't know. It could happen."
Uh, WHAT? If you're open to having children, why in the holy fuck did you create a profile on a dating site that is specifically and exclusively for people who don't have children, don't want children, and will not have children?
I was relieved that I had an appointment, so that eventually, I would be able to leave. He suggested getting a bite to eat. I was up for that, and suggested a good ethnic restaurant nearby.
Oh, but he didn't want that particular food.
I suggested another ethnic restaurant that is just across the street from the first one.
Oh, but restaurants such as that are everywhere in the city where he lives.
He suggested another option - this country's traditional fare - and I pointed out that I can get that food anytime. I suggested a compromise, which did seem to interest him, but by that point, there wasn't enough time to go anywhere for food.
On our way out of the venue, he told me to wait for him; he wanted to talk to someone for "a minute". I paid for my order and waited. He finally showed up, and we left. He wanted to know how to buy public transportation tickets, and I had offered to show him how the machines work.
We walked past a store.
"What's this? Oh - do they have snacks in there? Really? Give me thirty seconds."
Now, of course, I wish I had just walked off and left him there. But I waited.
He didn't take too long, fortunately, but definitely more than the thirty-second time frame he mentioned.
We went to the nearest machine where he could buy tickets, and I showed him how to use them. He asked me one question after another, with time ticking away. Fortunately, I had given myself a good time cushion, but he didn't know that.
I finally peeled away from him and left.
I'm not at all happy with this guy. He knew I had to be somewhere, and he kept wasting my time. He kept asking me personal questions, then disagreeing with my answers. He seemed to expect me to just take care of him and set aside my appointments to do something for him.
So, fuck it. I wondered what approach to take. He's going to be here for around two more weeks, unfortunately. I thought of "ghosting" him, but decided against it; even though he's probably used to it, and may deserve it, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. I sent him a message today telling him that I wasn't up for meeting him again, and telling him to enjoy the rest of his stay.
I guess the moral of this story is, don't sign up on dating sites.
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