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I am a Reservations Agent

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  • I am a Reservations Agent

    (This is from at least a few years ago, when I first found the site. I found a printout buried under a stack of old paperwork. No clue who the original poster was, sorry!)

    I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds. Of course I have that reservation you booked six years ago, even though you don't have our confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "X."

    It's not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, and yes I can install a wetbar. I know it is my fault we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

    I am a reservations agent, I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation on Friday, that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes I can tell you why your bill from 1989 contained a 25 cent phone charge because, obviously, you never pay for phone charges.

    I understand that McGillicotty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It's not a problem for me to construct several more guest rooms. This time I will remember to build the helicopter landing pad. And it's my fault that everyone wanted to stay here at our hotel, I should have known that you were coming in even though you have no reservation.

    I am a reservations agent. I am quite capable of taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls and talking to three other people behind me......all at the same time.

    I am a reservations agent, a front desk clerk, an operator, bellman, houseman, guest services representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information line, map, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, computer technician, copier repair technician, postman, dispatcher, ambassador, weatherman, fax expert, human jukebox and a verbal punching bag and yes we are still sold out for April 12 and 13.

    I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending a dime. I take personal blame for the airline food, traffic jams, rental car rates, snow storms and the national economy. I realize you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the galaxy hotel of Antarctica. Of course, we can fit you in and yes you may have the special one dollar rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken accounting and bagel club.

    I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, cajole, up sell, down sell (and know exactly when to do what when), perform, sing, dance, and fix the printer. And I know exactly where possum trot land is. I am a Reservations Agent.

  • #2
    I love this one - I have a printout of it in my "sanity binder".

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    • #3
      I actually work for a rental car agency, and this is GOLDEN! I actually going to post it on our employee message board in the break room. it is quite possibly the TSR Creed as far as I'm concerned!
      Last edited by ironnightmare; 08-24-2007, 08:23 PM.

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      • #4
        To me, that post is as good as it gets. I remember reading it a very long time ago and almost sobbing with relief... "Someone out there understands-- I mean, REALLY understands!"
        "It's not me that you hate; it's those nasty truths I serve up. Hey, man, I'm just honesty's vessel!" --Me

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        • #5
          amen to that!
          amelie

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          • #6
            I love you

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