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'They don't listen!' and negligence galore!

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  • #16
    My dad would occasionally answer the house phone with "<Last name>'s Nut House, this is the head nut speaking!" I always thought it was hilarious. Thankfully, though, he never did it when a boy called for me.

    I used to answer my dorm phone in college with "Paco's Tacos!" until I got a call about a job I'd applied for. I didn't get another call from them after that. Whoops!
    "Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv

    "This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper

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    • #17
      the local version is answering with "Battersea Dogs Home".
      I don't know why, as it doesn't actually work, nor is funny.

      I've been getting a bunch of wrong numbers for the 'new' phone work gave me.
      Getting "I want Fred*, Fred*, FRED!*" gets them hung up on.
      Getting "Why are you answering this phone??" gets "Cos it's my phone", and hung up on.
      Asking "I'd like to speak to Fred*" and Responding to "This ain't Fred's* phone and I've no idea who he is" with "Sorry, please ignore this message, unless you are free on Thursday and are good at golf" gets a lol.
      :-)

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      • #18
        My Dad's variation was "Mad house, chief idiot speaking!" I've been known to use it as well, and so far it hasn't backfired...
        This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
        I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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        • #19
          "Bob's Blowjobs this is Niel "
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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          • #20
            Quoth scruff View Post
            the local version is answering with "Battersea Dogs Home".
            I don't know why, as it doesn't actually work, nor is funny.
            Depends how you do it.

            "Battersea Dog's Home. You hound 'em, we impound 'em."

            I used that quite often at home. A mate has demanded to know if I've got caller ID to see who it is and I've always truthfully told her that I don't. Simply put, if people know me then they know I'm doing some stupid shit. If they don't then they're likely selling stuff. I've sent quite a few sales types packing with that. Works for me.

            Rapscallion

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            • #21
              My late aunt (Mom's oldest sister) used to answer the phone like this:

              Joe's Pool Hall, 8-Ball speaking.

              She could never figure out why my Mom never found it funny.
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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              • #22
                Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                She could never figure out why my Mom never found it funny.
                Life behind the 8-ball is no fun...
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • #23
                  Assistant manager at Taco Bell used to answer the phone with 'Larry's House of Bagels.' Always got a kick from it.

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                  • #24
                    "Arsonists R Us, how can I light up your world today?"

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