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I'm a Terrible Sales Person

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  • I'm a Terrible Sales Person

    Caller: I have a problem with [product].

    Me: Can you give me your license or serial number?

    Caller: I'm using the demo version.

    Me: OK. Can you describe what is happening?

    Caller: [describes two issues]

    Me: Both of those issues are actually due to limitations we placed in the demo version.

    Caller: How am I supposed to evaluate whether I want to purchase the paid version if you put limits in the demo version? [I get this one a lot, mostly from people who are trying to use the demo for actual production instead of evaluation.]

    Me: I can assure you that those limitiations do not exist in the licensed version.

    Caller: So I'm just supposed to take your word for it?

    Me: [How the hell am I supposed to answer that?] The licensed version does not have those limitations. We also have free tech support if you do run into a problem.

    Caller: I don't know if I want to buy it if I can't trust the demo.

    Me: [Trust the demo? WTF?] The purpose of the demo is to give potential customers an idea how the program works and test whether it is compatible with their systems and other software. If you want to produce [output] you need the licensed version.

    Caller: That just doesn't sound right.

    Me: [Huh?] We also have a 90-day gaurantee on [product]. If you find that it doesn't work as you expected, you can remove it from your computer and return it to us for a refund.

    Caller: I don't know if I want it.

    Me: No problem. Take you time, think it over and give us a call if you decide you would like to buy a license or have any more questions. Anyone here can help you or you can ask for me. My name is Dips.

    Caller: Dips, you aren't much of a sales person.

    Me: [Uh huh]Thank you for calling and have a great weekend.

    I have to laugh at that parting shot. My guess is that we have different definitions of "good sales person."

    Because I'm pretty darn sure that she was hoping for a free license to "test" and I'm also pretty darn sure that giving her what she wanted would not have resulted in a sale.
    The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

    The stupid is strong with this one.

  • #2
    Shame, shame, shame on you! You didn't give it to her for free! That qualifies you for the Worst Person On Earth Award, care of Self-Centered Entitlement Whores, Inc.

    I loved how you didn't even react to her flimsy "parting shot". Fantastic.

    Comment


    • #3
      I used to get that a lot when i worked for a software company. The software was for screenwriters. You could do everything with the demo except export the file or print more than 3 pages without a watermark.
      I was amazed at how many people would complain that they could not tell if they liked the software unless they could do everything.
      A few times I had to ask them, "so, if you owned a restaurant and i came in, you would give me everything on the menu so i could be sure I liked it before paying for it the next time"?.
      "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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      • #4
        Quoth the_std View Post
        care of Self-Centered Entitlement Whores, Inc.
        No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.

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        • #5
          Quoth Nekojin View Post
          No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.
          I like that one
          Under The Moon Paranormal Research
          San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

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          • #6
            Wow, total EW!
            "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

            Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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            • #7
              Quoth Nekojin View Post
              No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.

              Well done.

              Add that to your signature.
              SC Motto "I am more important than you and others and don't you ever forget it"

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth StevieJD View Post
                Well done.

                Add that to your signature.
                Definitely well done ... take credit!
                "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

                Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Dips View Post
                  Caller: Dips, you aren't much of a sales person.
                  "And you're not much of a customer."

                  Rapscallion

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I got that once.

                    Me: I'm sorry but the people who pay the best get the dates they want
                    Rich: Oh so that's how you operate...
                    Me: Rich, do you work for free? Then why do expect us to?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                      A few times I had to ask them, "so, if you owned a restaurant and i came in, you would give me everything on the menu so i could be sure I liked it before paying for it the next time"?.
                      I like that. Did any of them ever come up with a response?

                      Another analogy, which is often used in a different context, would be:

                      "If I were a cow a sales person and I let you have the milk for free, you're never going to buy a cow."

                      I always think of these things a day after I could have used them.

                      Anyway, this story reminded me of a truly terrible sales man from way back who kind of proves the point. I'll post it in Sightings.
                      The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                      The stupid is strong with this one.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Dips View Post
                        I like that. Did any of them ever come up with a response?
                        ...
                        I would either get them to understand or they would say it had nothing to do with it. Some would just hang up. I liked those. :-)
                        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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