No, I am not information.

[StevieJD]

Be kind to me, this is the first thread that I have started.

Today's pet peeve based upon a common pet peeve of mine. SC is an appropriate term. I call them stupid, as in stupid customers.

The telephone is my life line to my business. I have a policy that the telephone ALWAYS gets answered. I personally hate voicemall and will not use such a system in the business. If all of the entry level employees are busy with a customer on the telephone or taking care of customers on the sales floor then I will answer the telephone.

Bottom line is that I answer A LOT of telephone calls.

The first question is the SC. Everything else is me. I will skip the SC questions after the first question because, well to be blunt my answers tell you everything that you need to know.


And this past weeks winners are:


A)
SC = Are you the UPS terminal?
Me = No, I am a UPS customer. Try calling 1-800-PickUPS.
Me = Yes I have the UPS logo and rate charts on my website, but that does not make me the UPS terminal.
Me = No, I am not an employee of UPS.
Me = No, I do not know your UPS driver.
Me = Yes, I am quite sure.
Me = Sir, are you aware that at last count there were 213 drivers at the XYZ terminal?
Me = Yes, I am sure that one of them is named Tom or Dave or Dick, but I still don't know your driver.
Me = Sir, as I already stated, please call 1-800-PickUPS and they can answer your questions.

A) Part 2, 20 minutes later
SC = I called that number you gave me and they wouldn't help me.
Me = Then I suggest you call FedEx.


B)
SC = Do you sell DVD's?
Me = No I do not sell DVD's.
Me = Yes, I am very sure.
Me = Yes, I am very sure. Have you tried XYZ I hear they have an excellent selection.
Me = My Supervisor? I am the supervisor.
Me = No, I am not being fresh, my title is Vice President of Sales and Operations.
Me = Yes, I have a boss.
Me = My mother is my boss.
Me = No, you can not speak to my mother, she passed the responsibility of the day to day activities on to me.
Me = Yes, she thinks I am doing a bang up job.
Me = I really don't think my salary is any of your business.
Me = Yes I am very sure that we do not sell DVD's.


C)
SC = Do you sell cow manure?
Me = No, I do not. There is a new nursery just up the road, why don't you give them a call.
Me = No, I do not know if their price would be cheaper than WallyWorld. Why don't you give them a call, I got the number right here
(ruffle, ruffle as I look through the mornings newspaper to find the ad)
Me = Potash? No, that is something we don't sell, why don't you
Me = Because we are not a nursery. That is something that is not needed by my customers.
Me = Please listen to me, cussing is not going
Me = I am hanging up now.


D)
SC = Do you have the telephone number for the police?
Me = Have you tried 9-1-1?
(sometimes I just not resist )



No day can pass without a SC crank of a telephone call. I must be getting too old for this crapola.

[HawaiianShirts]

A) Part 2, 20 minutes later
SC = I called that number you gave me and they wouldn't help me.
Me = Then I suggest you call FedEx.

Because you were ever so helpful last time, he had to call back. It's happened to me before.

Problem: Customer bought a printer and discovered it didn't come with the USB cable.
Solution: I tell the customer that my store sells such cables. Customer buys one, goes home happy.

The next day the same customer called and asked for me specifically. Apparently, since I was so smart with the USB cable thing, I would also be a good person to provide legal advice regarding suing over "unreasonable" amounts for apartment security deposits.

I think we need a term for the logic these people use. Anti-logic, perhaps?

B)
SC = Do you sell DVD's?
Me = No I do not sell DVD's.
Me = Yes, I am very sure.
Me = Yes, I am very sure.

A perfectly reasonable question for customers not familiar with your business. Until they ask it more than once. Then they're just being stubbornly stupid.

C)
SC = Do you sell cow manure?
Me = No, I do not. There is a new nursery just up the road, why don't you give them a call.

Somehow, I'm imagining a mutant business conglomeration of a UPS Pack & Ship with racks of obscure movies on DVD in the lobby, and fertilizer barn in the back lot, all connected to a branch of the local police department complete with a booking area, an interrogation room, and a couple of holding cells. If you don't sell DVDs and manure, just what kind of business DO you run?

[StevieJD]

My business name is the subject matter that we sell.

Think Bob's Truck Tires.

You know that Bob sells Truck Tires. Bob might sell auto tires and maybe even tires for motorcycles, bicycles and tricycles. Bob may perform repairs on trucks and might even perform repairs on other vehicles. There is a remote chance that Bob sells oil, air filters and spark plugs.

But calling Bob to see if he sells office furniture is a just a stupid call.

I am a small business, meaning that my primary business area is the local market. Therefore I am quite willing to help Bob, or Dick or Mary or any other business owner as they may help me as well.

But gosh darn these calls are getting stupid.

[iviles]

[QUOTE=StevieJD;285318]Me = My Supervisor? I am the supervisor.
Me = No, I am not being fresh, my title is Vice President of Sales and Operations.
Me = Yes, I have a boss.
Me = My mother is my boss.
Me = No, you can not speak to my mother, she passed the responsibility of the day to day activities on to me.
Me = Yes, she thinks I am doing a bang up job.
QUOTE]

I wish I was able to say this to my customers!

[StevieJD]

Because you were ever so helpful last time, he had to call back. It's happened to me before.


A perfectly reasonable question for customers not familiar with your business. Until they ask it more than once. Then they're just being stubbornly stupid.

Yep. I can understand the old and lonely seeking out a reliable source of information. But calling a stranger for legal or medical information?

[StevieJD]

[QUOTE=iviles;285824]

Me = My Supervisor? I am the supervisor.
Me = No, I am not being fresh, my title is Vice President of Sales and Operations.
Me = Yes, I have a boss.
Me = My mother is my boss.
Me = No, you can not speak to my mother, she passed the responsibility of the day to day activities on to me.
Me = Yes, she thinks I am doing a bang up job.
QUOTE]

I wish I was able to say this to my customers!

Why not, some SC deserve the truth while others deserve a lie.

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Stevie, I thought A was amusing. B almost had me breaking rule 1 (I'm eating my lunch). Only a well-timed swallow saved my monitor. But still....I'm giggling.

[StevieJD]

Stevie, I thought A was amusing. B almost had me breaking rule 1 (I'm eating my lunch). Only a well-timed swallow saved my monitor. But still....I'm giggling.

I had one today.

SC = What time do you close
Me = 6:00
SC = Are you sure?

I have no clue how to answer. Will we close early? No. Do we ever close early? No, but to be truthful we did close early one day when it was 5:45 and there had been a tornado in town and we released the employees to go check on their loved ones, but that was the only time. And the store hours have been the same since 1991 so I doubt that I am going to change the times at any point in the next 2 hours. So am I pretty sure that the hours will not change.

So I stutter and finally blurt " Yes, I am 100% certain that we will close at 6PM"

I guess that made her happy.


We had one argue with a CSA yesterday about the warranty on an item. The CSA is reading the manufacturer literature and the SC kept asking "are you sure?"

Gosh darn, how does anybody answer "are you sure?"

[edible_hat]

SC = Are you sure?

Translation: "I think the answer's different from what you said, and everyone knows I'm always right, therefore you must be lying. But because I'm so nice I'll let you pretend you made a mistake."

[StevieJD]

Translation: "I think the answer's different from what you said, and everyone knows I'm always right, therefore you must be lying. But because I'm so nice I'll let you pretend you made a mistake."

Yep, the customer is always wrong, oops I mean right.

[Argabarga]

Yep. I can understand the old and lonely seeking out a reliable source of information. But calling a stranger for legal or medical information?

Not to mention they'd likely add you to the list of people they're suing when your advice is ignored anyway.... "But so-and-so told me I didn't have to! Yes, he's not a lawyer, but, he told meeeeee!"

Looks like you also had another one of those SCs whose whole mindset never developed beyond "stores sell things" , the concept of specialization never sank in. All they know is that stores sell things, and hey, they're looking to BUY something, so all they have to do is call a store and ask for it! And if they're a good store, they'll have it! Only a bad store wouldn't have something when clearly, I'm looking to buy it!!! Yipee! What a wonderful blissful world they live in, I wonder what color the sky is there?