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In which I find the right words at the right time
I had a talker earlier. You know the type, they love the sound of their own voice & ignore everything else until they get the one resolution they've predetermined as the End of Loop trigger.
This one was a particularly egregious example, wearing not one but two hoodies for extra insularity; I couldn't detect headphones but I can't rule them out, the only thing I'm reasonably sure of is a lack of genuine disability - they could hear, they just chose not to. Henceforth I shall refer to them as the LIC - Listening Impaired Customer:
LIC: I can't get in.
Me: Okay, let me just check your Oyster*
*prepayment card for London public transport; so-called "smart card" capable of holding cash or preset period tickets, and using them in combination as required.
LIC: [Before I've finished checking] I've got a travel card but I went overdrawn?
Me: Yes, I can see here that you put the ticket on before the journey that you were charged for. This was an error and you can get your money back, but I can't fix it so for now you'll have to pay that off; it will be refunded when you call the provider to report the issue.
LIC: But I don't want it to charge me.
Me: It shouldn't charge you again. I can't guarantee that but it's not supposed to have charged you before either, so the possibility exists. Still, unless you pay this off now then it will remain disabled so it's best to do it. If it does happen again then you can get them to fix both problems at the same time.
LIC: But I can't get in.
Me: Not until you pay, no.
LIC: I bought a ticket and still got charged.
Me: ...
And repeat. And repeat again. And yet again. A queue is forming. We're getting nowhere, for the sake of a couple of pounds that is guaranteed to be refunded.
I get fed up, and start varying my script: "I've told you this three times now, ..." (it was closer to 5, but start small.) No effect.
After a few more iterations there's now a queue out the door. As I'm telling him this is now the fifth cycle (more like tenth) a phrase pops fully formed into mind. This is the one. This is it. This could work!
Me: "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive. Now..."
LIC blue-screens. You can see them rebooting as I repeat their only options one last time, and this time it has indeed stuck! They pay, and piss off.
The next customer, who has seen most of this, is crying with laughter. He cheers me up, and the rest of the queue is handled in seconds per transaction.
Just... why?!?!?!
This one was a particularly egregious example, wearing not one but two hoodies for extra insularity; I couldn't detect headphones but I can't rule them out, the only thing I'm reasonably sure of is a lack of genuine disability - they could hear, they just chose not to. Henceforth I shall refer to them as the LIC - Listening Impaired Customer:
LIC: I can't get in.
Me: Okay, let me just check your Oyster*
*prepayment card for London public transport; so-called "smart card" capable of holding cash or preset period tickets, and using them in combination as required.
LIC: [Before I've finished checking] I've got a travel card but I went overdrawn?
Me: Yes, I can see here that you put the ticket on before the journey that you were charged for. This was an error and you can get your money back, but I can't fix it so for now you'll have to pay that off; it will be refunded when you call the provider to report the issue.
LIC: But I don't want it to charge me.
Me: It shouldn't charge you again. I can't guarantee that but it's not supposed to have charged you before either, so the possibility exists. Still, unless you pay this off now then it will remain disabled so it's best to do it. If it does happen again then you can get them to fix both problems at the same time.
LIC: But I can't get in.
Me: Not until you pay, no.
LIC: I bought a ticket and still got charged.
Me: ...
And repeat. And repeat again. And yet again. A queue is forming. We're getting nowhere, for the sake of a couple of pounds that is guaranteed to be refunded.
I get fed up, and start varying my script: "I've told you this three times now, ..." (it was closer to 5, but start small.) No effect.
After a few more iterations there's now a queue out the door. As I'm telling him this is now the fifth cycle (more like tenth) a phrase pops fully formed into mind. This is the one. This is it. This could work!
Me: "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive. Now..."
LIC blue-screens. You can see them rebooting as I repeat their only options one last time, and this time it has indeed stuck! They pay, and piss off.
The next customer, who has seen most of this, is crying with laughter. He cheers me up, and the rest of the queue is handled in seconds per transaction.
Just... why?!?!?!
Thanks!
You got through! Amazing. Some people just will not comprehend anything outside themselves.
over because they cannot be bothered to listen. You have my sympathies. Have a 
you deserve it.
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