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I'm taking away your computer privelages

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  • I'm taking away your computer privelages

    Started a job recently at a computer tech company which is 99% removing spyware that customers got from their computers. Mostly it's just people who don't know the first thing about computers and want us to fix their mistakes for them. Then there are the ones who are special. Sometimes we can do a remote service so they don't have to come in.

    I'm starting to think it's for their safety.

    Thing's I've had to to do today from the remote service:
    I need them to occasionally type something so we can get connected and spell things out for them.


    Me: That's R as in Robert
    SC: You mean L?
    (Yes L, as in Lobert the Lobster, from Louisiana)

    Excuses:
    SC: This didn't have any problems until my ex-girlfriend hacked into my computer, she's reading my emails and knows everything

    Right.... your ex-girlfriend is monitoring you, rather than the usual reason people come in because they downloaded something they should have.

    Please stop objecting to the price
    I don't care if you think service X should be free because you're cheap. We're a business not a charity and I'd charge you an idiot tax if it was my business.

    Answering phones
    SC: (young sounding) I think there's something wrong with my computer
    Me: Okay sir and just to verify for legal reasons you're over 18?
    SC: Yep
    Me: And can you verify your birth date?
    *Click*

    That's some fast thinking there kid, call back when mommy's home
    Last edited by Soulstealer; 03-17-2015, 12:37 AM.
    How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

  • #2
    my ex-girlfriend hacked into my computer
    Translation: "I don't want to have to admit that I downloaded porn from a skeezier-than-usual site."

    Either that or he's paranoid.
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth MoonCat View Post
      Translation: "I don't want to have to admit that I downloaded porn from a skeezier-than-usual site."

      Either that or he's paranoid.
      I think you just explained why he has an EX-girlfriend. . . .

      Some girls don't care for guys who look at porn all the time instead of them. Guess it must have something to do with the fact that there are some girls who deserve better than that, but that's just my guess.
      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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      • #4
        I don't care what website they went to or what they download so long as it's not illegal and they pay for the work. Surprising amount of people still using AOL, well not really surprising if I consider their average age
        How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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        • #5
          Quoth Soulstealer View Post
          Please stop objecting to the price
          I don't care if you think service X should be free because you're cheap. We're a business not a charity and I'd charge you an idiot tax if it was my business.
          oh god I hate this. SHIT COSTS MONEY PEOPLE. don't want to spend the money? then learn how to fix it yourself.
          Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
          Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth gremcint View Post
            oh god I hate this. SHIT COSTS MONEY PEOPLE. don't want to spend the money? then learn how to fix it yourself.
            Serious. People get so outraged when I have to *gasp* charge them if they want extra fabric. They don't want me to cut it off, they just want me give it to them. As far as my computer, I have free anti-virus software and don't go clicking on everything and it's fine.

            I'd be sad if I had to see all the x-rated stuff other people look at. I don't mean that in a judgmental way, it's just... Well, what has been seen cannot be unseen, you know?
            Replace anger management with stupidity management.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Soulstealer View Post

              Answering phones
              SC: (young sounding) I think there's something wrong with my computer
              Me: Okay sir and just to verify for legal reasons you're over 18?
              SC: Yep
              Me: And can you verify your birth date?
              *Click*

              That's some fast thinking there kid, call back when mommy's home
              Man, that is one dumb kid if he couldn't quickly think of a birthdate that would make him over 18.

              10/25/89

              See? NOT difficult.
              "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth gremcint View Post
                SHIT COSTS MONEY PEOPLE.
                I once had a history teacher say, "Everything costs money. Breathing costs money. You have to pay to buy air filters for car, houses, and just about anything that isn't alive."

                It was funnier in person.
                The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

                You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Soulstealer View Post
                  I don't care what website they went to or what they download so long as it's not illegal and they pay for the work. Surprising amount of people still using AOL, well not really surprising if I consider their average age
                  Hey now !!! Yeah I'm kinda old (late 50s), but I still use AOL, even though I also use other browsers. Why, you might ask? Because I worked for AOL as a chat room host for 10 years. I have a lot of fond memories of that time, and I know my way around AOL backwards and forwards.

                  That said .... Get Offa My Lawn ya dang kids!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I work in IT for a mortgage company.

                    I acknowledge that loan officers, their assistants, processors & underwriters have likely forgotten more about how to process a loan than I'll ever know.

                    Now if I can only get them to acknowledge that often times my cat knows more about computers than some of these people...and I don't even HAVE a cat.

                    Had an LO try and convince me that she wasn't the one who somehow managed to download TWENTY SEVEN different crap toolbars, "search engine protectors", coupon generators and other trojan horse like programs for spyware to invade and make her PC their bey-otch.

                    Yet she was the only one to have logged into that machine since she got it...

                    The worst ones, though, are the ones who think they can offer you advice on how to fix it. I don't offer them advice on how to do their work, don't assume I need yours to do mine. All I need is your machine, and a full confession as to the circumstances as to what happened. I even tell people I don't judge what happened, as long as it wasn't illegal - but I NEED to know what happened so I can FIX it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Ted_The_IT_Guy View Post
                      Had an LO try and convince me that she wasn't the one who somehow managed to download TWENTY SEVEN different crap toolbars, "search engine protectors", coupon generators and other trojan horse like programs for spyware to invade and make her PC their bey-otch.

                      Yet she was the only one to have logged into that machine since she got it...
                      I've had occasional incidents like that--none quite that bad, mind you--that prompted me to begin a policy of not granting local admin to anyone, without a business or technical reason and a direct order. As I refresh or replace computers, local admin goes away.
                      "I often look at every second idiot and think, 'He needs more power.'" --Varric Tethras, Dragon Age II

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Toolbars

                        Quoth Ted_The_IT_Guy View Post

                        Had an LO try and convince me that she wasn't the one who somehow managed to download TWENTY SEVEN different crap toolbars, "search engine protectors", coupon generators and other trojan horse like programs for spyware to invade and make her PC their bey-otch.
                        What gets me is people who can't tell why they need a certain toolbar or even what it does, but they act as if you are killing their baby when you then offer to remove it to help their computer run better.

                        I had one guy where over half his browser screen was covered with toolbars, could not tell me what a single one did for him. And after I removed them all and his machine was clearly faster in browsing sites but he wanted me, to put the toolbars BACK!

                        I refused (after-all I did not know where most of the toolbars came from in the first place) since he had already agreed to have me remove them, had already taken up over an hour of my time, was not paying me to work on his computer (I was there visiting some-else), and it clearly made his machine better. What could he do? He asked me to look at his machine and I worked for myself.

                        I normally only work for money, but if I do any work for free IT IS TO MY STANDARDS. If you want me to do things your way, PAY ME FIRST!

                        Note: When I am working under contract, I do what my boss tells me to do no matter what I think. When I am paid privately I talk to the user a-lot before starting any work. When someone (usually a relative) tries to get me to work for free, they get only what I want to give, tough if they don't like the results. On the bright side I rarely get any calls from my relatives lately.
                        Last edited by earl colby pottinger; 03-17-2015, 04:36 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth BPFH View Post
                          I've had occasional incidents like that--none quite that bad, mind you--that prompted me to begin a policy of not granting local admin to anyone, without a business or technical reason and a direct order. As I refresh or replace computers, local admin goes away.
                          I envy your ability to get away with doing that. If I could I would. In the 22 months I've worked for my company, I've seen my manager ONE TIME direct a tech to do that.

                          Why they don't lock things down is beyond me. 99.999999% of the software one needs to do this job is installed by IT before you even start. Need something extra, like Acrobat? I can remote in and install it FOR you.

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                          • #14
                            I've been starting to fantasize just taking away the computers from some of the people I've come across. They're going to be back and I don't want to hear how it's our fault they did the same stupid crap again.
                            How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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