V-day trolling?

[thansal]

Don't forget to order the special for two people meal.

Show up all happy, state that she will be there shortly, order for her, etc etc etc.

Slowly become worried.

Frantically check your phone.

Become massively distraught after "receiving" a "text".

Commence water works.


The most I have ever done was purely by accident. Apparently Chilies is a popular place to go for V-Day? My friends and I (on a whim, we forgot it was V-Day :P) decided to go, and randomly thought that we should call ahead to get our names on the wait list (it was a Fri or Sat). Turns out there was like a 2+hr wait at the time. so, we show up 2 hours latter, walk in and are instantly seated. The number of dirty hateful looks we received were rather priceless

[Jester]

Oh, this is awesome. As a longtime critic/hater/detractor of this phony and false holiday (last year's alternative festivities were classic!), I heartily approve.

My only suggestion might be that less is more. In other words, rather than going over the top, perhaps you should consider a more subdued approach. Rather than water works and a complete breakdown, consider showing up all happy, and waiting to order as you munch on breadsticks....and slowly, gradually, allow the mood to wilt, until you are just staring glumly ahead into nothingness. The psychological effect upon those around you could be astounding if played right.

Yes, I find this holiday repulsive. (For my reasoning, see the above linked story.) Yes, I am evil. What's your point?

I would consider doing something similar, but my current woeful dating life and the fact that I am very well known on this small little island could cause this particular ploy to horribly backfire on me, since many people who actually know me might find it all too real, sad, and pathetic, and I really would hate the backlash of sympathy and pity.

But if I could find a way to do it around mostly strangers, oh, HELL yeah!

[PepperElf]

Considering the date, I could just sit there and eat by myself and keep a peripheral eye out for those staring at me with pity. I'm pretty sure it would happen.

Of course, there's the whole extra expense for a special day cost, but it might be worth it.

Rapscallion

bring an inflatable date?

[Gizmo]

I'd love to do this or see this even though I am in a relationship. I do hate this 'special' day too!

[CoffeeMonkey]

another alternative to ridiculous, or awkward and depressing would be sad and wistful.

A table for two. A framed photograph of a lovely young lady (bonus if the picture looks old and worn,) and a single flower laid in front of the picture. Wear a ring.

Raise your glass to her when you begin, and remember the good times while you eat. the occasional sad smile, silent laugh, and brushing of a tear complete.

"this was one of her favorite places," as you thank the server on your way out.

The whole place will be talking about it.

[Gizmo]

I believe they did that last one on Monk - he goes back to the same hotel for their anniversary every year and has the same dinner etc.

[Andara Bledin]

This is also shaping up to be kind of like the scene in The Sixth Sense, as seen from the point of view of the fellow diners.

^-.-^

[Jester]

I honestly think it would be hilarious if you could involve one staff member. Not the whole staff, just one server you know you could trust to both keep your secret and act along accordingly.

"Oh, welcome sir. I have your table ready for you."

"I know sir. I miss her too."

"How are you holding up, sir?"

And so on, and so forth. Improv is the key. He can tell other customers and coworkers whatever he wants. Bonus points if he uses different stories with different people.

The place would be buzzing.

This, of course, brings up the obvious question: do you live within a reasonable distance of customersruinmylife's pub?

[Deserted]

Yes, I am evil. What's your point?

I have nothing useful to add, just that I'm changing my sig to that.

[Jester]

That's me, Deserted's own personal sig provider. Just wondering when I should actually start charging him. Hey, cabbie...the meter's running, pal!

(I should point out that I've been saying "Yes, I am evil. What's your point?" for years, not just in here, but in my every day regular life.)

[Andara Bledin]

I think it's better to go the glum single/ditched-by-date route than the missing-a-departed-loved-one route, myself.

People won't be as uncomfortable around someone grieving as they will around someone whose going through something that's just awkward.

^-.-^

[Jester]

Then there is the happy nutcase route you could go.

Ask for a table for two. Pull the chair out for your date. Make sure to push it in under her. Talk to her about the various menu items. Make small talk. Look into her eyes lovingly. Order drinks for both of you. Order meals for both of you. Assure the server that the meals are perfect, and that the two of you are having a great time. Laugh at her jokes. Make jokes for her to laugh at. Discuss your grand future together. Ponder the dessert menu. Decide against it and ask for to-go boxes for your leftover portions. Pay the bill, tipping generously. Pull your date's chair out as you prepare to leave. On your way out, thank the server and manager, assuring them that you both had a great time. Hold the door for your date as you exit.

Do all of this alone.

Minds WILL boggle.

Just make sure you do this where no one you know, work with, are friends with, or care about has any chance of seeing you...unless, of course, you convince a couple co-conspirators to secretly tape the whole thing.

[Andara Bledin]

I like the nutcase/invisible-date angle, too.

Again, it's not something people can feel sympathetic towards as much as it'll just make them vaguely uncomfortable because they want to watch, but they can't let themselves because of societal norms.

I'm all for that.

^-.-^

[sms001]

it'll just make them vaguely uncomfortable because they want to watch, but they can't let themselves because of societal norms.

And as an added bonus, it will be occurring in a culture that can give rise to this sort of social awkwardness.

[Pixilated]

bring an inflatable date?

Okay, now we really are in the realm of the twisted ...

If you go this route, you definitely must have somebody nearby with a camera!

I love all these ideas, by the way. My favourite restaurant is, of course, putting out a special menu for V-Day, but unless I bring one of my cats (both of whom are technically male), I won't be taking up space there that day.

Or unless I decide to utilize some of the fine suggestions here ...

As for the holiday itself, I really can't find too much fault with a day whose primary purpose is to get you to buy and eat chocolate.