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Needing some advise for Little Bits

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  • Needing some advise for Little Bits

    Little Bits is living in a four bedroom suite dorm at college. Seven of the eight girls are all getting along great. One of the girls has been acting very irratic and has been threatening the other girls in the suite. Two of the girls that live within a 45 minute drive of campus has gone back home to get away from the behavior. The rest of the girls in the suite live too far away to go home everyday.

    So far, the girls have gone to the RA to try to get help. The RA will not do anything to help the girls. Where should they turn to next? I am at a loss as to what to tell them because when I went to college I shared an apartment with my best friend.

  • #2
    Has she tried the housing office if one exists for that school? There's always someone above the person who doesn't want to deal with you. She can ask her school to find out who that is. If there is no housing office, then maybe the registrar can point her in the right direction.

    Good luck to her!

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    • #3
      How has she been threatening them? I'm guessing they haven't been there more than a few weeks to know whether this is odd behavior for this particular girl or not? (Not that that makes it any more acceptable.) Have they tried all sitting down together and having a suite meeting (though it sounds as if that might not do much good)?

      What did the RA actually say? Why won't she do anything? Is there someone in the dorm who is above the RA? My college had an RA on each hall and a head resident for each dorm. I never had to go above the RA personally, but when there was a big issue, the RA would bring in the head resident if she felt it necessary, and then the student life/housing folks (who were school employees, not students). Though if she's acting erratically and threatening people, perhaps the counseling office would be an option? If something serious is going on, they may be able to intervene.
      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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      • #4
        Quoth FormerCallingCardRep View Post
        Where should they turn to next?
        I'd say housing, or the police, I do not take threats lightly-FROM ANYONE, even if they don't do anything right away at least there's a report(Most schools have some policy on referring someone to counselling on campus if there is a number of police reports filed.
        Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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        • #5
          Quoth BlaqueKatt View Post
          or the police,
          Good point; might want to talk to campus security, too.
          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

          Comment


          • #6
            I will let her know when she calls me today. She mentioned that those that are Music Majors were going to go to their advisor today to seek guidence on where to turn to next. This is a very small private school. I did mention to her to talk to the counciler at school about it her next session (She got very homesick and her advisor set her up with the counciler)

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            • #7
              What exactly did the girl threaten to do? Can Little Bits provide a word for word quote?

              I'm asking because "threat" can range from innocuous ("you better watch out") to deadly serious ("I'm going to stab you while you are asleep").

              The latter dictates a police report, and soon!

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              • #8
                All I know is that one of the girls left the suite in fear. She drove the one girl home Monday night. Little Bits is about to leave the suite and stay with a family friend that lives near campus.

                When they first got to campus they all set down and wrote down rules and signed an agreement with each other. Last weekend Little Bits told me that this girl sits in the common room and yells and laughs loudly at 3:30 am. This went on all of last week and she was so glad to be home to get some sleep. The girls confronted the one with the ruls on Monday and she said it all exploded. She has not gone into details about it though. The seven all went to the RA last week about the yelling and loudness at 3:30 am and the RA said she would talk to the girl, but nothing changed. Little Bits Roommate and now two other girls that live within 40 minutes from campus have left the suite until matters get settled. The girls roommate is actually now sleeping in Little Bits Dorm Room to get away from her

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                • #9
                  That sounds like a very hard situation. I fully agree with everyone else's advice to talk to Student Housing or the Campus Police. Does Little Bit's college have a Dean of Students? That is probably the best person to talk to.

                  It's much easier to have yourself moved, than to have your roommate moved. But if all 7 of the other girls living in the Suite are concerned and fearful of this girl, then maybe something can be worked out.

                  Please keep us posted on how Little Bit is doing.
                  Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                  Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                  Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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                  • #10
                    Little Bits stayed off campus last night with a family friend. The friends family moved to the town where the college is this past summer when her husband took a job teaching at the same high school that Little Bits is doing her classroom obs in. They invited her to come over for dinner last night and then her daughter went with Little Bits to get what she needed for the night. I have not spoke to her yet this morning. I will probably hear from her when she gets done with her classroom obs this morning.

                    Her show choir starts their fall tour this weekend. She will be gone off and on for the next two months for perfromances. I actually get to see two of the tour stops this weekend and am looking forward to them.

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                    • #11
                      I would say...

                      1) Get details on how they are being threatened. It's best to be armed with knowledge first

                      2) If the threats immediate - such as "I'm going to kill you right now" take it to security / police.

                      3) If it's more psychological - such as "How dare you report me to the RA, I'll teach you a lesson!" etc... take it to the dean. And let it be known that the RA wasn't able to handle her either.


                      You're (or LB is) paying for the education and the housing. She shouldn't have to leave just in order to feel safe or get sleep.

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                      • #12
                        Little Bits leave campus tomorrow for the first tour weekend. for those of you in West VIrginia they will be in Charleston tomorrow, not sure where at though, Vienna on Saturday at the Mall, Marietta, OH Sunday morning and the Pumpkin Festival in Milton Sunday afternoon.

                        While she is here close, she is staying with us. I will sit down with her and talk to her more about what is happening in the suite.

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                        • #13
                          I had to indirectly deal with a crazy my freshman year in college and I'll say that the best help that was received was from the dean of students. My college (Oberlin) was very good about moving people when there were roommate, or other sort of, conflicts. IIRC, the roommates of the crazy got him moved out (it was a quad or a triple, don't remember), and my close friend was issued a keep away order against him by one of the bodies (I don't remember which) on campus.

                          It never had to go past on campus solutions for us, however, I would suggest that you urge her to call the police AND campus security if she has any real fear of violence from this person.

                          Also, good luck on her tour (that sounds fairly awesome)

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