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  • Brats

    I’ve mentioned in a couple of previous posts that we have noticed a horrible trend developing at the pub: overly dramatic, horrible teenagers. We don’t know what’s happened. The snot nosed, bratty teen population has exploded. For the past two nights we have had to deal with 18 year olds who don’t have a clue how to behave in public. I would never have dreamed of acting like these kids did when I was 18. And I’m only 27!

    Every single SC in this thread was around the age of 18, and behaved like a snot nosed brat.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    SC: Could I have a pint of lager please?
    Me: Sure, can I just check your I.D?
    SC: OHMYYYYYYYYYYYYYGAAAWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

    He hands me the I.D while murmuring “I can’t fucking believe this!”

    Me: OK, you were 18 two days ago…
    SC: Yeah.
    Me: You are 18 years and two days old. We I.D people who look under 25. Get used to being asked for proof of age.
    SC: Just shut the fuck up and get me my drink.
    Me: What did you just say? You know what, forget it. Someone else can serve you. You’re going to the back of the line.
    SC: But you can’t do that to me!
    Me: Watch me.

    Co-worker walked on the bar.

    CW: Who was next?
    SC: Me! Me!
    CW: *to me* Was he next?
    Me: No.
    CW: Sorry, you have to wait.
    SC: You can’t treat me this waaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    We left him to stew for ten minutes.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    SC: Excuse me, do you serve drinks here?
    CW: No. You’ve taken a wrong turn. You’re at the library.
    SC: Huh? What?
    CW: I was being sarcastic.
    SC: You’ve made me feel stupid!
    CW: Think about what you asked and then you’ll see why.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    SC: I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.

    He turned around to his friends and started giggling and high fiving, clearly very proud of what he had asked for. I give him the drink.

    SC: What’s this? I didn’t ask for ice!
    Me: You asked for scotch on the rocks. Don’t you know what rocks are?
    SC: No.
    Me: It’s ice.
    SC: But I don’t take ice with my drinks. Also, can you top it up with coke? I hate neat whiskey.

    I bit my tongue, because I nearly yelled “GET OUT!”

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CW is restocking the napkins and straws. Bratty boy picks up the holder right in front of her and dumps the contents all over the floor. He stands there with a big smile.

    SC: I think you need to clean this up.

    CW grabs the radio.

    CW: Can I get a doorman to the bar immediately please? Quickly. I’m about to stab some little shit with a corkscrew.
    SC: You can’t talk about your customers that way!
    CW: Well that’s good because you’re no longer a customer

    Doorman appears.

    D: Is this him?
    CW: Yes. Remove him.
    SC: You can’t do that! I didn’t do anything!
    CW: He just picked up the napkin holder and dumped it on the floor on purpose.
    SC: Yeah but like, it’s not like I hit you or anything!
    CW: Remove him.
    D: Come with me please.
    SC: But all my friends are still in here!
    D: You can call them when you’re outside.
    SC: But it’s snowing!
    D: I will drag you out if you don’t start walking in three seconds.

    He walked out in tears.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I walk out into the garden to collect some glasses. Another brat approaches.

    SC: Excuse me, do you have a light?
    Me: Yes I do.

    I had him my lighter. He sparks a cigarette and then proceeds to pocket it.

    Me: Can I have my lighter back please?
    SC: You don’t need to be so condescending!
    Me: What’s condescending about me not wanting you to steal my property?
    SC: You don’t need to make me feel bad either!

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I am heading back to the bar. I have four large stacks of glasses. An SC decides to kick a chair into my path.

    SC: Try and pick that up with all those glasses in your hands!
    Me: Or how about you pick it up and I don’t get the doorman to drag you out of here?
    SC: You can’t talk to me like that.

    You may think I am repeating myself a lot in this post, but seriously “You can’t *blah blah* to me!” was the most commonly used phrase of the night.

    Me: Pick it up.
    SC: I can’t. I’ve got a full drink in my hand.
    Me: Pick it up.
    SC: But I can’t!
    Me: Ok, you’re out of here.
    SC: OK! OK! Fine!

    He picked it up.

    Me: Good.

    I still got him thrown out. I was in a terrible mood.

    SC: You can’t do this! We had an agreement!
    Me: Maybe this will teach you that throwing furniture isn’t acceptable.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Manager was getting really angry. She actually encouraged us to be horrible to these kids. She said we had to treat them proper etiquette.

    Me: OK, your total is £3.50
    SC: HOW MUCH? I’M A STUDENT! I CAN’T AFFORD THIS! HOW MUCH?
    Me: £4.50.
    SC: What?? I thought you said something else! How much?
    Me: £6.50
    SC: Eh? How much? This place is expensive! I’m a student. Now tell me how much!
    Me: £10.50. I could do this all night.

    Don’t worry guys, I didn’t steal from her.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Me: And here’s your vodka and coke.
    SC: Is that flavoured vodka?
    Me: No. It’s regular.
    SC: Oh. I asked for raspberry vodka.
    Me: Sorry, I must have misheard you. Let me correct that.
    SC: I can see why people like you work here. Too crap for anything else.
    Me: And I can see why you’re going to get ignored next time you come to the bar.
    SC: You don’t need to be rude to me.

    He had puppy dog eyes for the rest of the transaction.

    SC: I was wondering, do you have any part time jobs available?
    Me: So after that you’re still making fun?
    SC: No, I’m not. I need a job to support my studies.
    Me: Sure, let me get you an application.

    I put the black star of death in the corner of the form. It translates as “Person is fucktard. Do not hire”

    Me: Good luck.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    SC: I’ll have a vodka and coke with ice. Actually, make that two.
    Me: Sure thing.
    SC: What’s this???
    Me: Two vodka and cokes.
    SC: I meant I wanted to pieces of ice. Duuuuuuuuuhhhh!!!
    Me: You said “vodka and coke with ice. Actually make that two.” So I made you two drinks. You didn’t specify that it was two pieces of ice you wanted.
    SC: You’re an idiot. You don’t listen.

    I didn’t say another word. I took both drinks away and sat them on the back and served someone else.

    SC: Excuse me…
    Me: Sorry, I don’t listen.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Me: Hi there, what can I get y-
    SC: CAN’T YOU SEE I’M ON THE PHONE HERE! GAAAAWWWWDDD!

    Everyone behind the bar heard. He was ignored.

    SC: Excuse me, I’ve been waiting quite a wh-
    CW: Can’t you see I’m serving someone else here??? Gawwwwwddd!

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I had a major headache at the end of my shift.

  • #2
    I never realized that sausages would be the wurst customers for a pub...

    Though properly skewered they're the laff of the party.
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

    Comment


    • #3
      SC: I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.
      You know... I once ordered a Vesper because I thought it would be cool to drink 007's signature martini.

      But at least I had the decency to NOT bitch about it when I realized I didn't like it much. Ain't the barkeep's fault - he gave me what I ordered. AND my boyfriend (who worked as both a sommelier & a barkeep before) warned me that I wouldn't like it too!

      I put the black star of death in the corner of the form. It translates as “Person is fucktard. Do not hire”
      ROFL! Awesome!

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        Me: What did you just say? You know what, forget it. Someone else can serve you. You’re going to the back of the line.
        SC: But you can’t do that to me!
        I think he just did.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        SC: You can’t treat me this waaaaaaaaaaaaay!
        He definitely just did.

        I don't think these folks understand the word "can't." Especially as it applies to bartenders.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        SC: What’s this? I didn’t ask for ice!
        Me: You asked for scotch on the rocks. Don’t you know what rocks are?
        SC: No.
        Me: It’s ice.
        SC: But I don’t take ice with my drinks.
        Wow. Just wow. You have to be a special kind of stupid to order a drink in a way that you don't even know what it is.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        CW is restocking the napkins and straws. Bratty boy picks up the holder right in front of her and dumps the contents all over the floor. He stands there with a big smile.

        SC: I think you need to clean this up.
        Thank you for showing me that it's not just Americans that are rude pricks. Personally, I think your coworker handles this perfectly. Because that is simply not an acceptable way to behave in a bar, or anywhere, really.

        Hell, a lot of bars I've been in would make you clean that up, and then STILL might throw your ass out for something like this.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        He walked out in tears.
        Proof that, despite their high salt content, tears really can be sweet.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        SC: You can’t do this! We had an agreement!
        [channeling Arnold Schwarzenegger] I lied.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        Me: OK, your total is £3.50
        SC: HOW MUCH? I’M A STUDENT! I CAN’T AFFORD THIS! HOW MUCH?
        Me: £4.50.
        SC: What?? I thought you said something else! How much?
        Me: £6.50
        SC: Eh? How much? This place is expensive! I’m a student. Now tell me how much!
        Me: £10.50. I could do this all night.
        Ah, the patented Jester Anti-Haggle Technique, put to good use. I approve.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        SC: I can see why people like you work here. Too crap for anything else.

        SC: I was wondering, do you have any part time jobs available?
        After all, it's always a good job-hunting technique to insult the gate keepers.

        Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
        I had a major headache at the end of my shift.
        Sounds like you had several major headaches DURING your shift.

        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
        Still A Customer."

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
          SC: I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.

          He turned around to his friends and started giggling and high fiving, clearly very proud of what he had asked for. I give him the drink.

          SC: What’s this? I didn’t ask for ice!
          Me: You asked for scotch on the rocks. Don’t you know what rocks are?
          SC: No.
          Me: It’s ice.
          I don't even drink and I knew that. Good grief, what a maroon.
          I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

          Comment


          • #6
            Jedimaster, at the age of ten I knew what "on the rocks" meant, and my parents weren't exactly big drinkers! Seriously, I promise you if you ask the average 10 year old what "on the rocks" means in relation to drinks, they'll know it means "over ice."

            That guy was just a blithering idiot.

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #7
              Probably thought they actually put rocks in it. Why else would he add "on the rocks"? (Wait, can a person be that dumb?)
              On a semi-related note my store began selling stones to put in your drinks so it does not dilute, but keeps the drink cool. A man bought them and the lady behind him commented, "You must be a really heavy drinker if you buy those."
              Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone
              - Charlie Chaplin

              The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.
              - Captain Jack Sparrow

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                SC: Could I have a pint of lager please?
                Me: Sure, can I just check your I.D?
                SC: OHMYYYYYYYYYYYYYGAAAWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

                He hands me the I.D while murmuring “I can’t fucking believe this!”

                Me: OK, you were 18 two days ago…
                Oh and don't you know, everybody in the entire world is supposed to know the millisecond that you turn 18 and never, ever card you again!
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                SC: Just shut the fuck up and get me my drink.
                Me: What did you just say? You know what, forget it. Someone else can serve you. You’re going to the back of the line.
                SC: But you can’t do that to me!
                Me: Watch me.
                :sigh: It must be nice, being allowed to give what you receive and not have to be nice and polite to those who verbally spit in your face. Granted, it would be a helluva lot nicer if they'd behave themselves and not act like that in the first place.
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                SC: I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.

                He turned around to his friends and started giggling and high fiving, clearly very proud of what he had asked for. I give him the drink.

                SC: What’s this? I didn’t ask for ice!
                Me: You asked for scotch on the rocks. Don’t you know what rocks are?
                SC: No.
                Me: It’s ice.
                Did he think it meant literal rocks?! Maybe he should go to the Ink & Paint Club...
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                SC: I think you need to clean this up.
                "Correction." (hands SC a dustpan and broom)
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                CW: Yes. Remove him.
                SC: You can’t do that! I didn’t do anything!
                CW: He just picked up the napkin holder and dumped it on the floor on purpose.
                SC: Yeah but like, it’s not like I hit you or anything!
                CW: Remove him.
                On second thought, I like that way better...
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                I put the black star of death in the corner of the form. It translates as “Person is fucktard. Do not hire”
                Yep, brilliant way to start a new job: insult your potential future coworkers. Then again, maybe hiring him and subjecting him to what you have to deal with might open his eyes.
                Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                SC: CAN’T YOU SEE I’M ON THE PHONE HERE! GAAAAWWWWDDD!
                Do they all say this? When they go to church, do they sing praises to GAAAAWWWWDDD? I'm pretty sure GAAAAWWWWDDD doesn't appreciate their attitudes.

                Yeah, you had a boatload of suck there.
                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                My LiveJournal
                A page we can all agree with!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                  SC: You can’t do this! We had an agreement!
                  "I'm altering the agreement. Pray I don't alter it further."


                  Nice batch of winn- um... losers you had there, CRML....
                  "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                    CW: Can I get a doorman to the bar immediately please? Quickly. I’m about to stab some little shit with a corkscrew.
                    SC: You can’t talk about your customers that way!
                    CW: Well that’s good because you’re no longer a customer
                    Sounds like Jester's sig.
                    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Jester View Post
                      Jedimaster, at the age of ten I knew what "on the rocks" meant, and my parents weren't exactly big drinkers! Seriously, I promise you if you ask the average 10 year old what "on the rocks" means in relation to drinks, they'll know it means "over ice."

                      That guy was just a blithering idiot.
                      My Father-in-law used to offer my kids milk on the rocks. They loved it and, yes, even at a very young age they knew that rocks meant ice.
                      "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

                      "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Redhead17 View Post
                        Probably thought they actually put rocks in it. Why else would he add "on the rocks"? (Wait, can a person be that dumb?)
                        On a semi-related note my store began selling stones to put in your drinks so it does not dilute, but keeps the drink cool. A man bought them and the lady behind him commented, "You must be a really heavy drinker if you buy those."
                        To make life even more fun, there is a product called Whisky Rocks (or Whisky Stones) that you keep cold for putting into drinks so they don't get watered down.

                        Still, if Goofus didn't know "on the rocks" referred to ice, he most likely didn't know about the replacement products
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                          Me: Sure, let me get you an application.

                          I put the black star of death in the corner of the form. It translates as “Person is fucktard. Do not hire”

                          Me: Good luck.
                          You'll need it......
                          I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                          Who is John Galt?
                          -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                            SC: You can’t treat me this waaaaaaaaaaaaay!
                            Sounds like they just did

                            Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                            CW: Can I get a doorman to the bar immediately please? Quickly. I’m about to stab some little shit with a corkscrew.
                            Am I wrong for at this one?
                            Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                            Me: What’s condescending about me not wanting you to steal my property?
                            SC: You don’t need to make me feel bad either!
                            Yes. Yes, he does.
                            I still got him thrown out. I was in a terrible mood.
                            And so, in its inexorable way, justice was served
                            Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                            I put the black star of death in the corner of the form. It translates as “Person is fucktard. Do not hire”
                            One more entry for the "list of policies to implement when/if I ever run a business"
                            Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
                            Me: Good luck.
                            Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                            You'll need it......
                            BIG money! BIIIG prizes! IIIIIII love it!
                            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                              Sounds like Jester's sig.
                              indeed. i once told a barkeep about the sig and he loved it.


                              looks like i missed a couple of good ones when i was scrolling up/down too.

                              walked out in tears?
                              Me: hah.

                              Comment

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