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Ye Olden Faire Sightings
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Old 09-24-2019, 12:32 PM
LadyofArc LadyofArc is offline
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Default Ye Olden Faire Sightings

So this is a combination of sightings and cursing out...well I can't really call them coworkers now can I?

Anyhoo, spent two glorious days at the last big event on the historical re-enactor calendar for my current hometown, and there were quite a few incidents...and some suck to go with it.

Drunk and Archery - not a good combination

One dude apparently decided that trying the archery range while possibly under the influence was a fantastic idea . Unfortunately, he turned out to be quite aggressive (not violent) while under the influence, to the point where our Head Range Marshal barred him from the range. He took it about as well as you'd expect and his mates had to drag him away before security got involved (Yes, security were at the event, but they were roaming in general.) His mates thankfully, were not sucky at all and came back later without him.

You are here to work, not run your mouth

Continuing with the range stories, one of our members (known henceforth as Captain Jerk or CJ due to a number) was sent down to the range in order to assist. We had one of our new female (yes, this is important) members sitting down acting as crowd control/giving people the safety spiel BEFORE they set foot on the range. From what I heard, she was actually doing quite well. Then CJ decided that why no, she wasn't doing a good enough job because she didn't understand the intricacies of why we tell the public that dry-firing your bow is a bad idea (for example). Yup, he proceeded to mansplain the entire safety spiel to New Female Member. This went down about as well as you'd expect.

As for CJ, well unfortunately for him, the head range marshal and the other range marshals were all good friends of New Female Member and proceeded to send him back up to camp afterwards since he then refused to do anything else. He chucked a tantrum because OMG FEMALES ARE DOING WORK BETTER THAN HE CAN and wound up packing up and leaving camp for the rest of the event.

You're here to work, not run your mouth Part 2

The other incident involving CJ involved one of our displays at camp. Now CJ HAS done this display before and has done it quite well. The difference however, was that he was with other men in the display at the time. When he got left alone with a woman however (who is not only one of our best members for that display, but also regularly does demos of said weapons to her preschool class), he decided that sitting down and doing absolutely nothing in said weapons display was the way to go and leaving the woman to do all the work.

Yeah, that also got reported to club president. Club President is female. Club President is a very experienced re-enactor. Club President also does not take too kindly to crap like this happening, so you can guess what'll likely be happening to CJ fairly soon

I don't think mummy has THAT in her drawer

One of the newer items in our weapons display (basically a bunch of replica combat-friendly weapons laid out on sheepskin which people can touch, hold and take photos with, while we stand there and ramble on about them - this is one of my favourite displays to do) this year was a rondel waster dagger. Many, MANY people over the course of the weekend asked if it was some form of a medieval sex toy. That in and of itself was funny enough (especially since it was next to the bollock dagger), but it then got absolutely hilarious when a small child picked it up and announced to their grandmother "This looks exactly like what mummy has in her drawer!"

Psychopath in training maybe?

We're all used to the stupid questions from the public, but this one took the cake.
One child came up to the weapons display and picks up one of the weapons. Fairly standard stuff, we let them do it provided that an adult is nearby to supervise.
Child then asks two questions: 1) can I buy this? (fairly common question we get) and 2) can I hit people with it? (asked dead seriously I might add - we have NEVER gotten that question from anyone - child or adult.)

Person running that part of the weapons display grabbed the weapon in question and basically told the child to put it down and get away from the weapons table. Parent came over and asked what was going on. Person on weapons display repeats what the kid just told them. Parent, to their credit, then told their kid to do the exact same thing (put down weapon, step away from the table) and apologised.

Yeah...we never get that question, so that was a bit scary.

Introducing...the Melon Family!

As part of our show, we typically smash a few watermelons (as it has the same structural integrity as a human skull). These are smashed with a warhammer (or "horsey-off button" as it's now called), volge (like a halberd) and a sword. These are done with and without armour I might add.

Well, this year, one of our members decided to draw faces on ALL of the watermelons before the start of each show. They were then promptly given names - Melony, Melony the Second and Frank. As part of our last show, we also invited someone from the audience to draw the face on one of our watermelons. Said watermelon was promptly named after that person's younger brother. Ouch!
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  #2  
Old 09-25-2019, 02:43 AM
Pixelated Pixelated is online now
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Quote:
Quoth LadyofArc View Post
*snip*

I don't think mummy has THAT in her drawer

One of the newer items in our weapons display (basically a bunch of replica combat-friendly weapons laid out on sheepskin which people can touch, hold and take photos with, while we stand there and ramble on about them - this is one of my favourite displays to do) this year was a rondel waster dagger. Many, MANY people over the course of the weekend asked if it was some form of a medieval sex toy. That in and of itself was funny enough (especially since it was next to the bollock dagger), but it then got absolutely hilarious when a small child picked it up and announced to their grandmother "This looks exactly like what mummy has in her drawer!"

*snip*
Hooboy. I suspect Mummy is not going to go out in public with kidlet again until kidlet graduates from college ...
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