Dumb Criminal of the Week

[taxguykarl]

The headline says it all:

MAN ACCUSED OF TRYING TO SELL DRUGS IN TRAFFIC COURT

Talk about being unclear on the concept. A court room with law enforcer all over and he thought dealing was a good idea.

[wolfie]

Looks like this guy is joining the ranks of other brainiacs, such as the guy who tried to rob a bank while the guys from the office building across the street were depositing their paycheques during lunch hour - the FBI office building. Another pair of geniuses (some years back) tried to mug the star of a (then-new) TV series. The series? Walker, Texas Ranger. To paraphrase Jim Croce, "You don't mess around with Chuck".

[catcul]

Looks like this guy is joining the ranks of other brainiacs, ...

...like the pair that tried to rob a police station.

[Seanette]

By comparison, the guy who tried to rob a fast-food place full of cops on lunch break from a nearby training seminar was just REALLY unlucky.

Then, of course, we have one of the truly legendary (and verified true!) Darwin Awards, as discussed by Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/crime/dumdum/gunshop.asp

I dearly love stupid crook stories.

[Kogarashi]

Then, of course, we have one of the truly legendary (and verified true!) Darwin Awards, as discussed by Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/crime/dumdum/gunshop.asp

Ah, you beat me to posting it, Seanette. :P

One of my other favorites (besides the robber in the gunshop) is one I heard on the radio while riding the bus to school one morning in grade school. The DJ was sharing stories from various police blotters around our part of the state, and one he shared was about a hapless pair of would-be crooks who tried to steal an ATM. They did this by hooking a chain from the rear of their pickup truck to the front of the ATM, which was built into the side of a bank building. They then hopped in the truck and revved it.

Problem: their truck was an old beater, and not very powerful.
Problem: the ATM was built fairly solidly into the outer wall of the bank.

The rear bumper of their truck ripped right off. The two crooks panicked and sped off in their pickup, leaving the bumper behind...with their license plate still on it.

Yeah, didn't take long for the authorities to find them.

[Tama]

I see lots of these guys from my favorite TV show, World's Dumbest.

Like the guy that called the cops on rival weed dealers...and stayed on the line making a deal with someone.

Or the guys who (admittedly, this was bad luck too) were followed by a news crew after robbing a place...with recent snow/ice on the ground!

[MoonCat]

My favorite story is the guy who decided to rob a hotel during a law enforcement convention.

[crazylegs]

I once received an attempt at a 419 scam. This would be unremarkable if it wasn't for my email address (at the time) ending in .police.uk

[Kit-Ginevra]

Ah, you beat me to posting it, Seanette. :P

One of my other favorites (besides the robber in the gunshop) is one I heard on the radio while riding the bus to school one morning in grade school. The DJ was sharing stories from various police blotters around our part of the state, and one he shared was about a hapless pair of would-be crooks who tried to steal an ATM. They did this by hooking a chain from the rear of their pickup truck to the front of the ATM, which was built into the side of a bank building. They then hopped in the truck and revved it.

Problem: their truck was an old beater, and not very powerful.
Problem: the ATM was built fairly solidly into the outer wall of the bank.

The rear bumper of their truck ripped right off. The two crooks panicked and sped off in their pickup, leaving the bumper behind...with their license plate still on it.

Yeah, didn't take long for the authorities to find them.

Perhaps they should have teamed up with the geniuses in our area this week who attempted to steal an ATM.These were slightly more successful-they got it onto the truck without any mishap,but then forgot to attach it securely and it fell off...leaving a lovely trail of bits and pieces dragging behind them to easily identify them as the culprits...

[wolfie]

Or they could be related to the genius scrap thieves who saw a parked flatbed loaded with coils of copper sheet. They backed their pickup truck up to the flatbed, unchained one coil, and rolled it into their pickup.

Ever wonder why an 18 wheeler would only be carrying 3 coils of sheet metal? They found out. Theft unsuccessful - and they no longer had a getaway vehicle.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Or they could be related to the genius scrap thieves who saw a parked flatbed loaded with coils of copper sheet. They backed their pickup truck up to the flatbed, unchained one coil, and rolled it into their pickup.

Ever wonder why an 18 wheeler would only be carrying 3 coils of sheet metal? They found out. Theft unsuccessful - and they no longer had a getaway vehicle.

That is similar to the tale of some thieves who tried to steal a coil of steel that was posted here.

[TopEndDave]

A few years ago I knew two people who worked in the Police forensics lab as chemists. They would be onsite for a drugs raid to secure evidence and dismantle labs. People would turn up to buy drugs during these raids. There would be plenty of Police vehicles in the street and even uniformed officers wandering around. The stupids would knock on the door and ask the detective if they could buy drugs. The police didn't arrest them but did ask for a name and telephone number so they could call them later.