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Workday Phrases of Lore and Legend

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  • "I don't know what kind of chemical is on these wastebaskets, but it smells really good!"
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • (sung) ~~ "Strangers in my pants -- exchanging glances..." ~~

      "Is it raining men?"
      "It's not...Too bad for "[Agent A]"
      Agent A: "I don't want one"

      Week-later edit:
      contemplating making a new post...nah...

      "Sir, we didn't ask you to take your pants down."

      A week later than the week-later edit :
      c'mon guys!

      "You know what the most important thing I learned in the last four years is? CTRL-Z"
      Last edited by EricKei; 07-30-2014, 09:38 PM. Reason: because double posts make you stoopid
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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      • "User is unable to open wood document."
        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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        • "I'm over here at the check out, they can't find the USB code on your glasses!"
          Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter.

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          • "That could use a good blow."

            "Wow! They're topless!"
            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

            Comment


            • "Good googily moogily... the things I'd do to that fine, fine woman!"
              "Nooooot really a work topic buddy"
              "Good thing we're nooooot working!"


              "Daaaaaaaaanger Zone!!!!"
              "Um... random! Where'd that come from?"
              "Zomg! The ridonculously naughty things that just ran through my mind!"
              "Do I even wanna know?"
              "Naaaaw son... you don't want no parts of dis shit here Dewey!!!"

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              • "I'm gonna sell Dr. Seuss books and ecstacy"
                Last edited by EricKei; 08-08-2014, 10:11 PM. Reason: mii no ken spel gud
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment


                • "I'm going to hit those people first."
                  This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                  I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                  Comment


                  • (Agent C) "GD it, I have to write another murder story?...I should sell murder posters"

                    (Agent J) "We can do that"
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment


                    • They don't play fetch or anything, they just sit there. They just sit there being squishy. They're like boobies.
                      Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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                      • "I know why you don't want me selling my boat. Because I'll be here all the time. Bothering you."

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                        • She's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory over dem expensive fancy smelling soaps.
                          No ma'am. I'm sorry, I cannot control the temperature. We're in hell, that's why.

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                          • "...eeeehhh, just go ahead and order them. Fuck it. *pause* If you would, please."
                            "You just said 'fuck it if you would please".
                            *stony silence*
                            "Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
                            Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook page

                            Comment


                            • "I'm not McDonald's for vampires!"

                              "Let he who is without stones cast the first sin."
                              Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
                              OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
                              she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
                              Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- Jester

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                              • "wow.. i think she let one go..."
                                "naaa that was just her breath"
                                "jeeeeze... i feel sorry for her food..."

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