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Granny Wars!
  #1  
Old 04-02-2020, 07:02 AM
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AkaiKitsune AkaiKitsune is offline
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Default Granny Wars!

Only sucky because of the cleanup involved (especially with the new cleaning procedures) and mostly hilarious.

Two grannies. Neither want to pass the other in the oh so narrow aisles because of the whole Corvid-19 thing. Despite the fact we have specific times for seniors and have been waving delivery fees because many people canít leave their house right now.

Instead of backing up and letting the other pass (the maturity!) they decide to stand anoint 10ft away from each other and lob cans at the other. An effective tactic to make people move, albeit violent... if only they were able to throw more then 3ft away from themselves.

Sucky because of all that wasted product and the mess and the cleanup and can we act like fucking adults already!

Oh but thatís not all. They had to exchange terrible insults. As in the kind of thing youíd see on a satire about a bad drama show bad. Like did you steal those insults from a 4 year old? Youíre almost a century and thatís the best you can come up with.

Then when GW1 ended. Shortly thereafter, GW2 began. This time with the grannies following each other as the each tried to pick a healthier/more natural/organic/or cheaper version of whatever the other was grabbing. Then loudly proclaiming how they were the better granny because the product they picked had 30 less calories, or less sugar, etc in a very loud voice. It was like watching a senile version of Gollum arguing with himself. Except it was two people.

Also, they insisted on doing the same thing at checkout. Getting bitchy over a few cents or a coupon the other had that this one didnít have or know about.
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  #2  
Old 04-02-2020, 12:27 PM
earl colby pottinger earl colby pottinger is offline
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We need video. People like this need to be shamed world-wide.
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  #3  
Old 04-02-2020, 06:29 PM
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RealUnimportant RealUnimportant is offline
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I can see only two sets of circumstances:
1: they were rivals since high school;
2: they were siblings.
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  #4  
Old 04-02-2020, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
I can see only two sets of circumstances:
1: they were rivals since high school;
2: they were siblings.
Or one of them slept with the husband/Boyfriend of the other at some point in their lifetime.
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  #5  
Old 04-02-2020, 10:22 PM
Android Kaeli Android Kaeli is offline
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Quote:
Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
We need video. People like this need to be shamed world-wide.
I second this.

I can see the new series now: Grannies Gone Wild,
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  #6  
Old 04-03-2020, 09:43 PM
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Quote:
Quoth Android Kaeli View Post
I second this.

I can see the new series now: Grannies Gone Wild,
I would even pay to see that.

The worst I've had is idiot old people. Husband and wife come through my line, both seem somewhat surly (not at me, I think, but as I couldn't imagine what I might have done to piss them off, I didn't really care, either). We briefly talked about facemasks. Husband jerks his head at wife. "She won't wear one." Said surlily. Okay, well, she's probably an idiot then.

Second husband and wife team. We've had plexiglass shields put up at the registers. It makes it damn hard to heard the customers, so I'm hoping they will put little speaker grills in them but who knows. Wife taps the plexiglass: "So when are these coming down?" Not in your lifetime or mine, lady.
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  #7  
Old 04-03-2020, 11:25 PM
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notalwaysright notalwaysright is offline
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Can I veto the title "Grannies Gone Wild"?? Because that does not imply fighting, that implies something else. Something I don't want to see.
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  #8  
Old 04-04-2020, 03:01 AM
Mental_Mouse Mental_Mouse is offline
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Quote:
Quoth notalwaysright View Post
Can I veto the title "Grannies Gone Wild"?? Because that does not imply fighting, that implies something else. Something I don't want to see.
How about "Grannies Gone Feral?"
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  #9  
Old 04-05-2020, 02:00 AM
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XCashier XCashier is offline
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Hell's Grannies!...oh, wait, that's been done.
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  #10  
Old 04-05-2020, 02:13 AM
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Ironclad Alibi Ironclad Alibi is offline
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This is the granny you don't want to mess with.
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