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Nice Customer, Sucky Friend (longer than I thought)

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  • Nice Customer, Sucky Friend (longer than I thought)

    Today was a rough day to begin with. It continued throughout the day with phones brought in in disrepair, many people with billing problems, the electronic tills didn’t balance because the system hiccoughed. Has little to do with the story other than to set the mood of the moment.

    Got a nice young lady customer who wanted to know if she could take over her phone line, added as a second on her husband’s account, because they were divorcing. Sure, no problem, we just need his permission since it’s in his name. Checked her credit on the spot for her, she needed a deposit. We have a special going with a maximum $100 security deposit, she was quite happy with that. She was really sweet about it, asked good questions, went on her way to contact him so he could call and give his permission.

    She came back later with a female friend in tow, wanted to start her own account. I got the impression that he’d said “no” to letting the line be transferred. She was willing to take a different phone number for her activation since we couldn’t transfer her current one out.

    Then the friend started in, quite loudly.

    SF (Sucky Friend)
    NC (Nice Customer)
    Me

    Me, talking to the NC: The good thing about your security deposit is that once you’ve paid your first 12 months’ bills on time, you can get the deposit back.

    SF: What do you mean?? That’s Bull***. That deposit should be used to pay for her service if she can’t pay for it!

    Me: (WTF?) Um, no, the security deposit mostly serves as incentive to pay the bills on time. A security deposit means the credit report returned a risk, so the prospect of getting it back gives a customer a reason to make sure their bills are paid on time. If they aren’t, the customer forfeits the deposit.

    SF: That’s Bull***! I’ve never HEARD of such a thing! (Well, now you have.)

    SF continued to argue every single point and require it to be explained several times – No, mobile to mobile is within the carrier, not to every cell phone in the universe. Yes, she DOES have free evenings & weekends. No, her bill will also include taxes and surcharges. She went on and on and on (STFU!!!), the poor NC being a bit red-faced over it all. The SF must have thought the NC needed to be protected from the mean cell phone rep. (Yeah, I’m a 53-year-old grandmother – I’m such a threat….) And the NC knows all this is true – she’s been a customer with her husband for three years. And we’d discussed it in detail, in front of the NC, as we do with everyone who comes to us, so that there are no surprises.

    I thought we’d gotten through every objection the SF could come up with (several times reminding her that this is not HER account). I got the phone activated and started ringing NC out, but then NC decided she needed a car charger. Got the charger out, the SF grabs it and starts waving it around asking if it’s a real Motorola charger (it’s packaged in our company’s packaging). “Well, I’ve been TOLD that these off-brand chargers will RUIN the phone!”

    I couldn’t help it. I shook out my full 5’10”, peered down at the SF over my glasses and said, “WHAT silly person told you THAT? WHY in the WORLD would we sell something that will RUIN a phone? Your friend has been a customer for THREE years, still has the original phone, and NONE of the accessories she’s bought for it has RUINED it.” The SF got a stupid look on her face, said lamely, “I guess not,” and I could see my coworker nearly giving himself a hernia with his efforts not to burst out laughing.

    The NC left happy with her phone, but I was still resisting the urge to be evil and ask her if she wanted her SF on the account as an Authorized User.
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