Just say "no" if you're cheap

[sirwired]

I'm confused; is it the tradition for the wedding party to buy their own outfits in America? In the UK if the wedded couple want specific outfits for bridesmaids/groomsmen they have to buy them. If the wedding party had to shell out hundreds of pounds for specialised clothes they'd never wear again then there would be a lot of people refusing to come!

Yes, typically the couple specifies at least some sort of dress code for the wedding party, and the wedding party foots the bill for their own clothes. (The guests are usually just given instruction as to "formal" (suit/tie, fancy dresses), "dress-casual" (nice clothes like you might wear to a stuffy sort of office), or "informal")

Typically the bride picks out a dress for the bridesmaids, but they usually aren't hundreds of $$$ as they aren't really expected to be worn more than once (there's a particular "style" to many of the designs that isn't generally common outside weddings.) And I'm sure some SC brides DO pick out dresses that are really expensive.

Normally the grooms rent tuxes for the occasion.

Now, naturally there are exceptions as to what's chosen and who pays, as you can see from a lot of the posters here.

[dalesys]

Theme Song

This thread needs a theme! The Bridesmaid Dress Song - Deidre Flint

[Sapphire Silk]

You know, I get it. The wedding business exists to separate people from their money. I wouldn't have asked my attendants to do that. I've dealt with brides who asked for next to nothing, and some who are labor intensive. Just because some one asked you to be in a wedding, you don't have to say "Yes."

Agreed. I've been a bridesmaid a couple of times. One was pleasant, the other was a nightmare. However, the only thing I had to pay for was shoes, and the bride paid for them to be colored to match the dress. I didn't mind that since it was a color I could wear again.

Does this idiot realize what he would have to handle if he was female instead.

No rental in 99% of the weddings.

Can you tell that I watch Bridezillas?

I absolutely would not put up with a Bridezilla. Oh HELL no.

The mother of my best friend was like that. Had a FIT because the bridesmaids dresses (which were rented, and I didn't have to pay for) ended up too short on me because of my long legs. Even with the hem literally on the edge of the fabric. Then had another fit when I refused to wear 1" heels. I don't like high heels and don't walk well in them. I insisted on a 1/2" flat heel. Mom had another fit, which got worse when one of the other brides maids decided she wanted to wear 3" stiletto heels. Mom was going apeshit because she wanted us to all look the same.

The irony was our heights ended up evening out.

I'm confused; is it the tradition for the wedding party to buy their own outfits in America? In the UK if the wedded couple want specific outfits for bridesmaids/groomsmen they have to buy them. If the wedding party had to shell out hundreds of pounds for specialised clothes they'd never wear again then there would be a lot of people refusing to come!

I don't know what the custom is today, but 30 years ago the custom was the father of the bride pays for all that.

Weddings= money. Ha! My wife and I skipped all that. Rings too!
Just got it all taken care of by the judge with a couple of witnesses.
Then I thought it was a good time to have my parents meet my wife.
Easy.

Same here. I was so soured on my experiences as a bridesmaid that when I got married, Hubs and I did things very small. Even then it was more of a production than I wanted . . . my mother was very upset about the idea of my getting married at the courthouse. So we compromised and got married in a local minister's home (ironic, because neither one of us were churchgoers). Dad paid for the wedding, but the biggest expense was the reception. Even that I managed to cut down to the cost of the tent and the catering; we used the family farm of Hubs grandparents to save money.

We bought our rings at the Ren Faire; very nice silver rings that were reasonably priced and I refused to let Hubs buy me an engagement ring (I thought it a needless expense since I don't like jewelry much to begin with).

It was a nice service. The only snags were the flowers weren't delivered on time (Mom got real upset about that, I didn't), and the weather was a bit chillier than I expected for that time of year.

[workerbee222]

One thoughtful bride purchased midnight blue skirts for her maids and asked each to wear her own white blouse. One asked each attendant to purchase whatever printed, knee length dress she wanted. My cousin's daughter let each attendant chose her own black cocktail dress. Unfortunately, this happens all too often:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhFXFG0DIUU