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I've been back from a vacation less than 2 hours and already encountered a SC. It's like the world just saves them up for the days I have to cover for people's sickness. Because really, there can't be that many SC's in the world, right?
Right?!
Sarcasm aside, here's how it all went down....
It's Saturday morning and one of the ushers is sick (BG for those who don't know, I work as a projectionist for a cinema, I also cover shifts for front of house staff who can't come in), so who gets to double up as an usher for the top screens? Good old LoT!
I've just come back from a lovely relaxing vacation, I'm feeling pretty good at this point, nothing can phase me. And what's more, it's a lovely day outside, we aren't likely to get much custom. All in all, it sounds like today is going to be a breeze.
The kids start arriving for the early morning kids shows, most of them are good and well behaved, it's the parents who aren't! Today was no exception.
The elevator opens up and out walk a young family, a man, a woman, one kid of about 5 and they have a baby in a buggy with them. All good so far.
I take their ticket and ask them politely if they can park the buggy in the space provided nearby. This is a fire and safety procedure, so there are no exceptions. It's at this point the poop hits the fan.
Mother: But I just got him (baby) to sleep! I must take him in.
Me: I'm sorry, it's a health and safety thing, the aisle is small and a buggy would be an obstruction. Nobody would see it in the dark and might fall and injure themselves or your son. (Trust me, it's dark in there, I'm used to it and even I've tripped over stuff people leave in the aisle.) You can take him in the detachable carry cot and place that on one of our seats or in your lap though.
Mother: But the carry cot is too soft! I'm not leaving him out here!!
Me: You can still take your son in with you, that's not a problem, I just can't let you take the buggy into the auditorium. We would get in a lot of trouble, especially if someone got hurt.
Mother then takes full advantage of the fact the ticketing area is getting busy and rushes off to do precisely what I told her not to. I take everyone's tickets and shake my head in disappointment. Why did I have to jinx it by assuming this would be an easy day?
But she's not getting away with this that easily, oh no. I have in my possession, a radio of managerial summoning! Within moments my manager is here and I explain what's happened, he tromps off into the auditorium and in about two minutes, returns with mum on the run, buggy and all.
Mother: But I don't want to leave it out here unattended!
Manager: There is someone here at all times and the area is secure, you can still take your child in with you.
Mother: So someone is here at all times?
Manager: (clearly trying not to get frustrated) Yes, at all times.
Mother: So I can leave my baby with her? (Meaning me)
Me: (inwardly) no no no no no no.
I'm NOT responsible for your children, this is NOT a nursery. You bring your frakking child to a cinema, it's your responsibility to see that they are looked after.
Manager: No, we don't provide child care, you must accompany your children under the age of 12. The buggy is safe in the buggy park.
Mother: But I don't want to leave my son out here unattended!
Manager: (now not bothering to hide his exasperation) Nobody is asking you to leave your son out here, you can take him in with you and your other son.
Mother: But She (that'd be me again) said I couldn't.
Me: No, I said exactly what my manager is saying, it's okay to take your child in a small carrier or in your arms, but not a buggy because it's an obstruction. (I am not letting you pin your bout of stupid on me!)
Mother: Are you calling my son an obstruction?!
Me: (Yes, yes that's exactly what I'm doing, especially since I used those exact words...only I didn't, did I?) Not at all. The buggy, however, is.
Manager: What my colleague is saying is our policy I'm afraid, you will have to either leave the buggy outside the auditorium and we can let you and your son in, or we can't admit you with it.
Mother: Well then, I'll just have to sit outside, won't I!
And sit there she did, for a whole hour, the entire time giving me death stares.
I understand, parents, you just got your kid to sleep after one too many sleepless nights. Quiet time is precious to you. So why the living hell would you bring your "light sleeping" child to a big, noisy room full of hyper 1 - 10 year olds, where loud music and sounds are blasted at you for an hour or so?? Am I missing something here, or are you actually implying your kid can sleep through all that, but the second you unclip the carrier from the buggy frame, he's gonna wake up? I know kids are finicky but I'm calling bullshit on that one.
And what was with not understanding she could take the kid in, but not on what looked like the all terrain, 4 wheel drive of buggies? Do you actually want one of those hyper 1 -10 year olds to run around in the dark and send your child flying down a flight of stairs? Because that's what would happen.
I need another vacation kthnxbai.
Right?!
Sarcasm aside, here's how it all went down....
It's Saturday morning and one of the ushers is sick (BG for those who don't know, I work as a projectionist for a cinema, I also cover shifts for front of house staff who can't come in), so who gets to double up as an usher for the top screens? Good old LoT!
I've just come back from a lovely relaxing vacation, I'm feeling pretty good at this point, nothing can phase me. And what's more, it's a lovely day outside, we aren't likely to get much custom. All in all, it sounds like today is going to be a breeze.
The kids start arriving for the early morning kids shows, most of them are good and well behaved, it's the parents who aren't! Today was no exception.
The elevator opens up and out walk a young family, a man, a woman, one kid of about 5 and they have a baby in a buggy with them. All good so far.
I take their ticket and ask them politely if they can park the buggy in the space provided nearby. This is a fire and safety procedure, so there are no exceptions. It's at this point the poop hits the fan.
Mother: But I just got him (baby) to sleep! I must take him in.
Me: I'm sorry, it's a health and safety thing, the aisle is small and a buggy would be an obstruction. Nobody would see it in the dark and might fall and injure themselves or your son. (Trust me, it's dark in there, I'm used to it and even I've tripped over stuff people leave in the aisle.) You can take him in the detachable carry cot and place that on one of our seats or in your lap though.
Mother: But the carry cot is too soft! I'm not leaving him out here!!
Me: You can still take your son in with you, that's not a problem, I just can't let you take the buggy into the auditorium. We would get in a lot of trouble, especially if someone got hurt.
Mother then takes full advantage of the fact the ticketing area is getting busy and rushes off to do precisely what I told her not to. I take everyone's tickets and shake my head in disappointment. Why did I have to jinx it by assuming this would be an easy day?
But she's not getting away with this that easily, oh no. I have in my possession, a radio of managerial summoning! Within moments my manager is here and I explain what's happened, he tromps off into the auditorium and in about two minutes, returns with mum on the run, buggy and all.
Mother: But I don't want to leave it out here unattended!
Manager: There is someone here at all times and the area is secure, you can still take your child in with you.
Mother: So someone is here at all times?
Manager: (clearly trying not to get frustrated) Yes, at all times.
Mother: So I can leave my baby with her? (Meaning me)
Me: (inwardly) no no no no no no.
I'm NOT responsible for your children, this is NOT a nursery. You bring your frakking child to a cinema, it's your responsibility to see that they are looked after.
Manager: No, we don't provide child care, you must accompany your children under the age of 12. The buggy is safe in the buggy park.
Mother: But I don't want to leave my son out here unattended!
Manager: (now not bothering to hide his exasperation) Nobody is asking you to leave your son out here, you can take him in with you and your other son.
Mother: But She (that'd be me again) said I couldn't.
Me: No, I said exactly what my manager is saying, it's okay to take your child in a small carrier or in your arms, but not a buggy because it's an obstruction. (I am not letting you pin your bout of stupid on me!)
Mother: Are you calling my son an obstruction?!
Me: (Yes, yes that's exactly what I'm doing, especially since I used those exact words...only I didn't, did I?) Not at all. The buggy, however, is.
Manager: What my colleague is saying is our policy I'm afraid, you will have to either leave the buggy outside the auditorium and we can let you and your son in, or we can't admit you with it.
Mother: Well then, I'll just have to sit outside, won't I!
And sit there she did, for a whole hour, the entire time giving me death stares.
I understand, parents, you just got your kid to sleep after one too many sleepless nights. Quiet time is precious to you. So why the living hell would you bring your "light sleeping" child to a big, noisy room full of hyper 1 - 10 year olds, where loud music and sounds are blasted at you for an hour or so?? Am I missing something here, or are you actually implying your kid can sleep through all that, but the second you unclip the carrier from the buggy frame, he's gonna wake up? I know kids are finicky but I'm calling bullshit on that one.
And what was with not understanding she could take the kid in, but not on what looked like the all terrain, 4 wheel drive of buggies? Do you actually want one of those hyper 1 -10 year olds to run around in the dark and send your child flying down a flight of stairs? Because that's what would happen.
I need another vacation kthnxbai.
Yes the spelling satin was deliberate too 
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