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  • #16
    Quoth edible_hat View Post
    A group of engineers of various disciplines are sitting around in a bar.

    "So, lookig at the human body, what kind of engineer do you think God is?"
    "An electrical engineer. The nervous system is the greatest piece of electrical work on the planet."
    "No, a mechanical engineer. The way short muscles contract to move long bones, just like levers. It's a marvel of mechanical engineering."
    "You're both wrong, God's a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewer in the middle of a recreational area?"


    You win the thread.
    "This is the first time I've seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!"

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    • #17
      How about some math humor?

      http://reddit.com/info/6b0z3/comments/c03d7fo

      I had a bit too much fun tonight...
      My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

      Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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      • #18
        Here are a few from a physics teacher of mine:

        Knock knock.
        Who's there?
        Interrupting co-efficient of friction.
        Interrupting co-efficient of friction -
        MU!

        Proposed Units for everyday life:

        1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
        1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
        1 million billion picolos: 1 gigolo
        10 rations: 1 decoration
        Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
        Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
        Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
        1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
        2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
        "If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?" - Gerard Way

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        • #19
          1 trillion microphones = 1 megaphone
          the amount of faces it takes to launch 1 ship = 1 millihelen
          1 kiloword = 1 picture
          1 trillion bulls = 1 terabull (the amount of humour in 1 pun)

          Comment


          • #20
            Quoth Saydrah View Post
            How about some math humor?

            http://reddit.com/info/6b0z3/comments/c03d7fo

            I had a bit too much fun tonight...


            Ok - read it... what a bunch of squares....
            When I said "From my research", what I actually meant to say was "Made shit up" - from a thottbot thread

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            • #21
              An oldie:

              After the flood waters receded and Noah landed his ark, God told the animals to go forth and multiply.

              Shortly thereafter, Noah came across a pair of snakes who looked quite unhappy.

              "Didn't God tell you to go forth and multiply?" asked Noah.

              "Yes," replied one of the snakes. "But we can't. We're Adders!"


              (hold the groans, it gets worse...)


              Noah took the snakes home and asked his sons to see if they could help.

              One of his sons immediately grabbed some sticks and erected a sturdy platform.

              He placed the snakes on the platform and suddenly they began to mate.

              The moral of the story: If you need to multiply and all you have are adders, you need to get a log table.

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              • #22
                The univeristy was re-modeling the primate lab.

                During the process, one of the contractors became concerned that the heating weren't been placed properly.

                He consulted with the head researcher about his concerns to which the head researcher replied, 'There's no wrong way to heat a Rhesus'.

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                • #23
                  Not a traditional joke, but...

                  Friend of mine, D, was in a bar when a friend of his came over and asked

                  "Hey, you're into science, how about a little physics humour?"

                  D says ok. Other guy motions a third (black - this is relevant) guy over, who promptly starts waving his arms in front of him.

                  "What's that?" Asks D's friend.

                  D, not wanting to say "A black guy waving his arms" just shrugs.

                  D's friend: "Brownian Motion!!!1!" >.<
                  ONI HEUIR NI FEDIR

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                  • #24
                    Computer Geek Joke!

                    Q: How many H4X0R3Z does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
                    A: 1337.

                    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Quoth Kara View Post
                      Computer Geek Joke!

                      Q: How many H4X0R3Z does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
                      A: 1337.

                      How many actual, real hackers does it take?

                      None, they replaced it with BO-powered LEDs years ago.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I&quot;m rolling

                        This is a fun thread we've got going.

                        Heres a link to some funny chemical names.

                        http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm

                        Cutenoob
                        In my heart, in my soul, I'm a woman for rock & roll.
                        She's as fast as slugs on barbituates.

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                        • #27
                          another music geek joke

                          The seattle orchestra was performing Beethoven's 9th symphony. Near the middle of the symphony there is a 20 or so minute rest for the basses before they come back for the finish. This rest always bored the basses to tears, but this time the lead bass decided that they would all go across the streat to a bar to kill the time. Needless to say, they got quite drunk before finally stumbling back barely in time. Panicking the basses asked some of the percussionists where they were in the symphony and panicking that they wouldn't be ready. The percussionist responded, "don't worry about hit, he's always going too fast for us about this time of the song so we tied the pages of the score together so he would have to slow down".
                          About this time the conductor got to the first page that had been tied and boy did he look pissed. And why wouldn't he be, after all, it was the bottom of the ninth, the bases were loaded, and the score was tied. (kudas to those who are just as much as a geek as me to understand that)

                          and some one liners
                          q- how do you make 2 oboe play in tune?
                          a- shoot one of them

                          q- why is the french horn a devine instrument?
                          a- man blows into it but only God knows what comes out.

                          q- what is a bassoon good for?
                          a- firewood
                          q- what's an oboe good for?
                          a- firestarter

                          q- what is the difference between a sax and a chainsaw?
                          a- vibrato... but that can be minimized by holding the chainsaw very still

                          q- what is the difference between a band and a bull?
                          a- the bull has the horns up front and the ass in back
                          If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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